


In Search of Shadows

by EchoKazul



Series: In Search of Shadows [1]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (IDW Comics), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Big/Little Bro Mikey, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Angst, Fluff, Human Leonardo, Mother hen Donnie, Protective Raphael, Reincarnation, Smol!Leo tries so hard to Adult properly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-01 11:25:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 49,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14519484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EchoKazul/pseuds/EchoKazul
Summary: Ten years ago, Leonardo died, and the Hamato clan was left to deal with the loss of their big brother. But now there's a young human boy with blue eyes wandering New York, looking for the red, purple, and orange shadows that haunt his dreams. He doesn't know why he knows they're in New York. He doesn't even know who these Shadows are. All he knows for certain is that it was his job to protect them, and he needed to find them soon.That was, if those Shadows were actually real, of course, and he wasn't just crazy.Winner of two 2018 Reader's Choice Awards;2nd Place - Most Exciting Action/Adventure2nd Place - Most Compelling AU





	1. Blue Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'll admit, the reason I haven't updated my other story is that the muses bit me hard, and I've been switching back and forth between writing four different stories. This one especially hooked me hard, and I have it almost completely written out, just a few things to pad out in the middle. Since it's so close to being done, I thought I'd start posting it to give myself some motivation. I do plan on finishing up the Wedding arc soon, but I needed to scratch this itch first.

_Pain._

_Pulsing, stabbing, paralyzing pain coursed through his whole being._

_But it was fading into nothingness. Just like everything else._

_The darkness around him was almost tangible, pulling him down into an empty void._

_“Leo! No!”_

_The words rippled through the darkness like echoes through murky water, sounding distant and far away._

_“Stay with us bro. Hang on!”_

_They needed him._

_He needed Them._

_But he was sinking into the dark and the cold and the numbness. It was thick and pulled him down, further and further, away from the pain and away from Them._

_“Please... Leo... We need you! Don’t go!”_

_They were crying? No... no he couldn’t leave them. Not now. Not ever!_

_Conjuring up every last ounce of his strength and will, he tried to force his way past the pain, past the cold, and past the darkness._

_He needed to see Them! He needed to protect Them!_

_He managed to push his way through the intense pain to the very edge of the darkness. But for all his effort, he could only crack his blue eyes open a fraction._

_It was dark. Rain was falling on him._

_He couldn’t get his eyes to focus like they should. But, just barely visible against a bright light, three shadowy forms hovered over him in the haze._

_Red._

_Purple._

_Orange._

_The three most important colors in the world._

_And then he could hold on no longer, and the cold, silent darkness dragged him away._

_The last thing he faintly heard was Their voices, the voices of his Shadows, begging him, “Leo! No! Don’t leave us! LEONARDO!”_

* * *

 

With a gasp, I bolted upright, my blanket flying back as sweat dripped down my face and back.

Still not completely awake, my eyes darted around the room as my heart beat wildly, looking desperately for any sight of Them in a panic.

There was nothing, just the bluish black shadows of early morning. I was still alone in the dark bedroom with its cracked wall plaster and water spots on the ceiling, decorated sparsely with my meager worldly possessions and a few posters taped to the faded wallpaper.

I had been dreaming again.

Groaning, I flopped back into my bed with the creak of old rusty springs. I ran my still trembling hand through my thick hair, damp with sweat as I tried to will my heartbeat back into a calmer, more normal rhythm.

That dream again.

Why did I keep having that dream? Why did those three shadows of red, orange, and purple haunt me? Who were they? And did they even exist?

Exhaling and trying to calm myself down, I turned my head to look at the alarm clock by my bed.

Four thirty in the morning. Great.

Biting my lower lip, I then sighed and decided that I wasn’t going to be able to go back to sleep. Rolling over, I let my small legs hang over the side of the bed, still too short to get anywhere near touching the bare floor. I rubbed the last of sleep from my eyes with the palm of my hands, then slipped off and padded barefoot across the ancient and well worn wooden floor. Normally, anybody walking across these boards covered in old, chipped paint would elicit creaks and groans from the poorly maintained wood, but my small footsteps were silent and soundless.

I opened my bedroom door a crack and peeked out, looking up and down the dark hallway covered in peeling wallpaper. Quiet, except for the loud snoring of Mr. Acosta at the end of the hall. I was the only one in the building who seemed to be awake, which was just fine by me.

I quietly moved towards the bathroom door down the hall, and stopped and frowned when I saw a bleach blonde lady sprawled out in the old clawed foot tub. Again. Frowning, I quickly made my way over to her and checked on Miss Kay. Thankfully, the middle aged woman covered in thick, smeared makeup was actually clothed this time.

Convinced that she was just passed out again and not in need of medical intervention, I sighed and pulled the shower curtain across to give myself a little privacy while I quickly moved through the necessary morning routines. The sooner I could get out of this house and begin my daily routine, the better, though it seemed that I would be sneaking a shower over at the rec center again.

Dressed in my worn blue pajamas, I stood on a stool and brushed my teeth. I took a moment to glance into the cracked mirror. A quiet, serious child looked back with large, intense sapphire blue eyes that seemed almost out of place in the face of somebody obviously of asian ethnicity. Japanese, maybe? I really wouldn’t mind that. Japanese culture had always had a strange appeal for me, and there were times when I thought of trying to find my way there some day. I felt like I might fit in better over there, under the cherry blossoms and ancient Shinto temples. But those were only fleeting thoughts. I considered New York City to be my true home, even back when I had only known of it from books and television. It was here my Shadows lived, after all, and it was here where I knew I would find them.

If they were actually real, of course, and I wasn’t just crazy.

But, alas, that was my life. Looking for the brightly colored Shadows from my dreams, and constantly wondering if I’d one day end up locked in a mental institution.

Three Shadows. Always there were three shadows. Red, Purple, and Orange. I wanted to remember them. I needed to remember them! They had haunted me from my earliest memories. I felt like an amnesiac, wisps of memories lurking in my subconscious, just beyond my grasp. But somehow, deep down, I knew. They were real. They were real, and I needed to find them, to protect them. And, somehow, I knew that I would find them here in New York City.

The thing was, though, was that now I was in New York and there still wasn’t the slightest sign of my three Shadows.

Ugh. Maybe I did deserve to be locked up in a looney bin somewhere.

Spitting into the cracked, stained sink, I rinsed my toothbrush off, then gathered up my supplies. I checked on Miss Kay one last time to make sure she was okay, then headed back to my dilapidated room to change and get ready for the day.

* * *

 It was hours later, and I sat at the picnic table under the park’s shelter, tapping the biology textbook in front of me with my pencil as I ignored all the joggers and people out walking. It was still fairly warm out for late October, and everybody seemed to be enjoying the golden sunshine and gentle breezes.

Just because I was living on my own didn’t mean that I was going to let myself neglect my education. I made sure to research the proper lesson plans I should be following, and scrounged the library internet and book bargain bins for cheap and affordable educational materials.  When I found my Shadows, I was determined I wasn’t going to let them down. They deserved only the best, and that’s what I aimed to be. That meant bettering myself in every way I possibly could.

I exhaled, and set my pencil down, running my hands over my face.

“I swear I’m not crazy!"

I paused, momentarily wondering if my inward thoughts had really suddenly just became audible. And... spoken in a female voice?

"Its coming from over here somewhere!” a woman’s voice grew closer behind me, along the walking path, sounding tense and urgent.

“But... that’s impossible, April!” a male voice answered. “You know that as well as I do.”

The voices were heading closer. It sounded like they were leaving the path and walking towards the shelter I was in.

“I know, I know! But there’s no mistaking it, Casey! It’s definitely his aura I’m sensing!” the woman sounded shaken, and much closer.

I turned to look behind me, and my sapphire eyes met the shocked green eyes of a red haired woman who looked to be around thirty or so.

She went completely rigid as she stared at me.

“What?” the man next to her frowned, confused. He looked to be about the same age, with long, dark hair and heavily muscled with a definite scruffy look, wearing torn jeans and a hockey theme ripped shirt. He turned his perplexed glance towards me, and stiffened as well.

“Oh. Oh, wow.” he finally swallowed hard, almost as mesmerized as his female companion. “Those... Those are some blue eyes right there.”

I frowned, warily watching these two adult strangers who were just staring dumbly at me. “Um. Might I help you with something?” I finally asked cautiously.

That seemed to break them out of whatever shocked trance they were in.

“Oh!” the woman shook her head and rubbed the back of her head, obviously a little sheepish, but still stealing glances at me. “I apologize, you just reminded us of... a friend of ours.”

“Hm.” I pressed my lips together as I studied them both. For some reason, they almost seemed... familiar? Like somebody I known years ago, but forgotten? Which was crazy, of course. I was certain I had never seen these two before in my life.

I sighed. It was really didn’t matter, they weren’t my Shadows, and getting involved with strangers was never a good idea. Not wanting to give them any excuse to keep hanging around, I nodded politely to them and turned back to my school book.

But they didn’t leave. Instead, they stood there, hesitant and throwing emotional looks at one another. It was like they were having a silent but intense conversation with just body language and facial expressions.

Maybe I wasn’t the only crazy one here?

“Um...” the hockey guy finally stepped forward hesitantly. “Soooooo....” He seemed to be fishing for some reason, any reason, to keep talking to me. “Not that I should be one to judge but... shouldn’t a kid your age be in school?”

I got that question a lot. I merely tapped the open book before me with my pencil meaningfully. “I’m homeschooled.”

“Oh.” he was quiet for a moment, then stepped over to glance at my book, though he was obviously trying to sneak sidelong looks at me without my notice.

I noticed, of course.

“Don’t you need somebody teachin’ you or something, though?”

I shrugged. “I am quite responsible for my age.”

“I bet.” the red haired woman sounded like that information wasn’t anything unexpected. They exchanged looks behind my back, apparently still silently communicating without words, and then she gingerly sat down next to me, her smile strained but friendly and, oddly, hopeful. “I’m April, and this is Casey.”

“Casey Jones, to be exact.” the scruffy man puffed up a little proudly.

Hm. I tilted my head and looked them over. Normally when nosy adults came over and began bothering me, I subtly but politely slipped away, avoiding the unwanted attention that could potentially lead to any form of authority being called on me. But... but some part of me wanted to know more about these two. They reminded me of my three Shadows, for some reason.

“Good morning. My name is Leo.” I nodded politely, inwardly wondering why I was telling them that.

Both of them choked at that, and I jumped and blinked, startled by their reactions.

“Leo, huh?” Casey asked with a squeak, obviously trying to keep his voice normal, but failing badly. He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his head. “Ah... Just curious, is that short for something? Like, I dunno, Leopold or Leon or something?”

“Leonardo, actually.” I wondered what that had to do with anything.

Casey threw up his hands and began pacing. “Okay! That’s it! Too weird for me!”

“I’m... sorry?” I eyed him warily. Did... did I say something wrong?

“No!” April was quick to reassure me. I turned to look at her, and was surprised to see her quickly trying to wipe tears from her eyes. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong at all, Leo.” she almost breathed my name reverently as she spoke it. “It’s just...” she took a deep breath. “Our friend, the one I said you reminded us of? His name was Leonardo as well.” She gave an awkward, obviously forced chuckle. “What a wild coincidence, huh?”

I stared at her for a moment. His name ‘was’? Hm.

“Casey, settle down.” April reached over to put a hand on his muscled arm. “We don’t want to make _Leo_ nervous.”

“Right! Right.” Casey took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. “Sorry.”

These two were acting strange. Something was definitely going on. The question was, why wasn’t my internal alarm triggered yet? If I was smart, I would try to get as far from them as I could. In fact, if they had been anybody else, I would’ve been gone a long time ago.

But, once again, I was apparently crazy.

“You are fine.” I reassured him with a slight, shy smile. I picked up my pencil and turned back to my homework, and then added conversationally. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you two at this park before.”

“It’s not our normal stomping ground.” Casey admitted. “We just had some... business in the area. Business that we took care of good.” He gave a wicked grin as he punched a fist into an open palm, obviously replayed memories of that ‘business’ internally.

April elbowed him with a dirty look. “Yes. We went shopping for furniture. Right?” she said tersely.

He coughed and deflated. “Oh. Right. Yeah. Shopping. Needed a new couch.”

I narrowed my eyes at them. I could see a few bruises starting to form on Casey’s skinned up knuckles, but decided not to press the issue.

“It is a nice park, though.” April said casually, obviously trying to make the conversation flow naturally. “Do you come here often, Leo?”

I shrugged absently. “Sometimes. I find studying in the outdoors pleasant.”

“Do you live around here? Oh, I suppose you have a family! What are they like?” April leaned forward eagerly, obviously excited and curious. “Why are you here alone? Do your parents work during the day or something? Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

“Um, no. I don’t live in this neighborhood. I took the bus to get here.” I stiffened a little, suddenly wary. I didn’t need strangers prying into my life, and there were limits to my crazy, common sense had to come into play somewhere. I put my pencil down cautiously. “And I don’t mean to sound rude, but that’s not really information I should probably share with strangers I just met.”

April’s eyes widened, and she held up her hands. “Oh! Wait! No! I’m so sorry, Leo. I didn’t mean to come off as creepy or anything!” She groaned and facepalmed. “Really, I am sorry. I’m sometimes too nosy for my own good. It’s a trait that often gets me in trouble.”

My common sense was screaming at me to get out of this situation. I was a kid all alone who was constantly skirting that one phone call that would lead to me being dragged away by the authorities to a place where I couldn’t find my Shadows. The last thing I needed was to get myself involved with extremely nosy, strange adults, even if they seemed to have good intentions.

My heart, though, desperately wanted to stay. I wanted to trust these two. Their auras were warm and comfortable and oddly familiar.

I nodded cautiously, and picked my pencil back up. “S’okay.”

Casey, obviously hurriedly fishing around for a diversion or change of topic, noticed my porcelain cup, and peered at it curiously. “Wait. Leo. Are you drinking... tea?!” he choked.

“Yes. Jasmine tea.” Albeit a very, very cheap brand, it was one of the few indulgences I allowed myself. I got the hot water from that gas station down the block.

“But you’re like... seven!” Casey looked at me, baffled. “Shouldn’t you be drinking juice or pop or something?”

I knew I was small for my age, but why did people always assume I was so much younger then I was?

“I’m ten, actually.” I corrected him, and ignored the small gasp from April, her hand flying up to her mouth. Was this sort of reaction about anything and everything normal for them? If so, that must be an exhausting way to go through life. “And tea is much healthier for you then sugary drinks.”

Casey threw up his hands. “Of course. Of course it is. Next you’ll be telling me that veggie pizza is your favorite!”

I... wasn’t really sure what that had to do with tea. “I’m... not sure? I’ve never actually had the chance to try any type of pizza before.”

April and Casey froze, and then stared at me in shocked disbelief.

“Wait. You’ve never had pizza? Like, any pizza?” Casey’s mouth dropped open.

I rubbed my arms awkwardly. Cooking had always been an area I struggled with, and now that I was here in New York, my finances were too limited to splurge on such things. “I’ve been... tempted to try it.” I admitted. “But the opportunity has never come up.”

April glanced at my textbook. “You’re studying Biology?”

I looked down at my homework, then up at her and nodded.

“I actually have studied that a lot alongside my husband.” she gave me a warm smile. “Tell you what, it’s almost lunch time, and Casey and I were going to grab some pizza for lunch anyways. How about I help you with your homework while Casey runs out and grabs some pizzas for us? Our treat.”

I hesitated for a second.

“You can’t live in New York and not have had pizza. It’s against the law or something.” she added playfully, hopefully. “Consider this two Big Apple natives trying to right a terrible injustice in the cosmos.”

I bit my lip. On one hand, accepting food and trusting these strangers so much was a stupid, foolish thing to do. On the other, my financial situation made a free lunch extremely tempting.

Plus, I really, REALLY wanted to try pizza!

“I’m studying cellular structures right now.” I said shyly.

April and Casey exchanged excited, elated looks. It was strange, the vibes I got from them were that they were honestly, genuinely intrigued by me. But why?

“Well, sit tight, kiddo.” Casey said cheerfully. “I happen to know of the best pizza place for miles around. You’re in for a treat!” He winked at me. “You’ll need it after dealing with April for a bit. She’s a bossy know it all when it comes to science stuff.”

“I am not!” April smacked him playfully, and I couldn’t help but chuckle at their banter.

* * *

And that was how I learned three new things that afternoon.

The first thing I learned was that it was so much easier to learn things with somebody explaining it!

It turned out that April was a smart as she claimed she was, and it was almost like she knew me already and how my mind worked. She was patient, kind, and funny, though every once in a while I could swear I could see tears welling up in her eyes when she looked at me.

The second thing that I learned was what culinary delights I had been missing all these ten years of my life.

Casey came back with three boxes of heavenly smelling pizzas, and with an all-knowing smirk put a pizza topped with sweet red onions, black olives, green peppers, and mushrooms in front of me. I wasn’t really sure why he had chosen those particular toppings, but he almost acted proud of them, like he already knew they were my favorite. Strange, as I had just told them I never had tried it before.

I thanked them politely for the food, determined to be polite and mind my manners. Then I took a slice of pizza and tentatively took one bite.

The next thing I knew, I had an entire empty box sitting in front of me while I was licking sauce and cheese off of my fingers. I froze, mortified when I realized what I had just done, but Casey and April laughed, not at all offended and in fact acting like they had expected it.

I had the sneaking suspicion that April had even snuck in a picture or two while I was distracted.

They had stuck around after that, and it was like hanging out with two long lost friends. April continued to help me with my homework, apparently quite educated in more then just science, and Casey, for the most part, just goofed off. He actually made me laugh out loud a few times, something I hadn’t done in a very long time, and I began to realize just how lonely I actually was.

Then, all too soon, the small watch clipped to my Captain Ryan backpack began beeping, and I leaned over to check the time, before turning off the alarm with a disappointed sigh. “I have to go.” I said regretfully, gathering up my books and pushing them into the bag.

“Oh. Already?” April said, the smile fading slightly. She rubbed the back of her head. “That’s... that’s too bad.”

I shouldered my backpack, and turned to give them a polite bow. “Thank you so much for helping me with my homework, and for the pizza, Miss April and Mr Jones.”

“It’s just April and Casey.” Casey gave me a friendly cuff on the hair. “And it was our pleasure. Honestly. You... you’re a good kid, Leo.” He seemed to choke up a little.

April rubbed her arm. “Um... Leonardo? Will... will you be back at this park again? Perhaps we’ll... see you again?”

I gnawed at my lower lip for a second, and then came to a decision. I wasn’t going to run from this. I would take that leap of faith and trust them. “I usually get here about six each morning, and stay until two. If you’re ever in the area again, I wouldn’t mind...” I trailed off.

April and Casey grinned at each other, and then the scruffy hockey dude nodded at me. “Well, I have a feeling we’ll probably be couch shopping again tomorrow, so we’ll bring lunch again. Sound good?”

“Yeah... I look forward to it.” I grinned and bowed a little in farewell, before I turned and took off. I’d have to hurry to make my bus in time, but I didn’t mind the run.

The third thing I had learned today was that I think I might enjoy having friends.

* * *

“Oh, there you guys are! You’re way late!” Mikey’s face lit up as the two humans walked back into the lair. “Donnie was starting to panic, and Raph was threatening to punch him to make him sit down.”

“I wasn’t panicking. Don’t exaggerate, Mikey.” Donnie scolded him, striding over to run a thumb over April’s hair and give her a peck on the cheek. “You are much later then we expected though. Did the antique dealer give you more trouble then you thought?”

“Huh? Oh, him.” Casey waved it off distractedly, as if the main objective of their whole trip was nothing more then a background detail. “Turns out that the ‘artifact’ was really plastic and made in China, and he was just some two bit con-man. Had to punch out both him and his bodyguard, though.”

“Something... something else came up, though.” April swallowed hard, rubbing her arm.

Donnie noticed this immediately and looked concerned. “Is everything okay, April?”

She gave a laugh, and wiped a tear away. “Better then okay! You’ll never believe what we found today!”

“Ooh, what? What?!” Mikey hopped around them excited. He quickly began circling them like a vulture. “Did you bring it home with you? I smell pizza, did you have pizza? Did you bring home pizza? Is that the surprise?! Did you find some new, mystical type of pizza topping?!”

“Even better!” April grinned through tears that she finally let fall.

Mikey’s face looked doubtful that anything could top pizza-related surprises.

Donnie, however, was starting to look concerned at his wife’s tears. “April, what’s going on?”

“Raph’s in the dojo?” Casey asked eagerly, and at Mikey’s nod, he turned towards the indicated room to fetch the red turtle. “He’s going to want to hear this!”

A few minutes later, and they were all seated around the table, Raph with a towel around his neck to wipe away the sweat, Mikey balanced on a stool eagerly, and Donnie sitting by April, arm around her.

“So what’s the big news?” Raph asked brusquely, taking a drink of water.

April and Casey looked at one another, obviously wondering where even to begin.

“Okay.” April shakily ran her hands over her face. “So... where do I even start?” She began tentatively. “Do... do you guys believe in reincarnation?”

The turtles looked at one another, confused.

“Suppose we’ve seen crazier shit in our lives.” Raph shrugged. “Why not?”

“Right. So...”April swallowed hard. “How do I put this...?”

Casey let his hands hit the table and stood up resolutely. “You know what? I’m going to rip the band aid off fast and in one go.” He turned to the turtles. “April and I came across this ten year old kid who’s super polite and responsible, chooses to drink jasmine tea over sugary drinks, has a Space Heroes backpack, absolutely demolishes veggie pizza, has the most intense blue eyes you’ve ever seen, and his name is Leonardo.”

The three turtles froze.

“Wh... what?” Mikey finally breathed hoarsely.

Donnie looked strained. “Casey... this... this isn’t funny. At all.”

“He’s not joking, guys. We would never joke about something like this.” April put a hand on his arm. “We were walking through the park on the way home, when suddenly I could feel Leo’s aura nearby. At first I thought I was going crazy, but then we saw him, and... and those eyes! Even though he was a human kid, there’s no mistaking those clear sapphire blue eyes!” She ran a sleeve across her face, wiping away the tears.

“You’re... you’re serious?” Mikey swallowed hard. “You’re really saying that Leo... Leo’s back?”

“I’m pretty sure that Leo’s been reincarnated.” April corrected him tearfully. “Into the most adorable human kid ever!” she rushed out as she finally broke down and let all the tears burst forth, sobbing. “Y-you guys should see him! The quiet and graceful way he moved and talked... Th-the slight smiles, the wave of h-his hands! The w-way that he just studies you quiet w-with his eyes, all his mannerisms, every... everything was just so... so _LEO_.”

“During lunch, I let a big ol’ belch rip out.” Casey added. “Do you guys remember the look Leo used to give me when I did that? Well, it was all there. Playing out exactly like it used to, only this time on a human kid’s face. The slightly horrified look, then the eyebrow raise, the disapproving lip purse, and then finally the eyeroll and sigh of resignation. He did it all!”

“That’s... that’s impossible.” Donnie breathed out, then looked up shakily. “Wait. You... said that this human child was ten years old?”

Casey nodded. “That’s what he told us.”

They were all quiet for a moment, digesting this. It had been a little over ten years since... since that day.

Then there was a loud crash, and they all looked over to see that Raphael, who had been standing in shocked silence up to this point, had fainted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact. Pizza Hut ran a promotion where they had TMNT themed pizzas, one with each of the turtle’s ‘favorite’ toppings. I’m not sure if that’s canon or not, but I decided to run with it. 
> 
> For anybody curious, these were the toppings: 
> 
> Michelangelo: Pepperoni, Smoked Ham, Pineapple, and Jalepenos;  
> Donatello: Chicken, Mushrooms, Green Peppers, Roma Tomatoes;  
> Leonardo: Sweet Red Onions, Black Olives, Green Peppers, Mushrooms;  
> Raphael: Pepperoni, Sausage, Bacon, and Beef.


	2. Internal Turmoil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably clarify that this really doesn't take place in any specific universe. Mostly, I based it off of the 2k12 turtle world, but I pulled heavily from the IDW comics. After all, they deal with reincarnation in there, and Leo always seems to have the most sensitivity when it comes to remembering his past life. April isn't going to be as powerful psychically as she is in the cartoon, but will retain that awesome ninja training. Also, I've always had a soft spot for Apriltello, thus that's included as well.

It was early the next morning, and the sun wasn’t yet peeking up low in the sky, but just starting to lighten the edge of the night sky, giving the border of sea and sky a pale orange and purple glow.

The three turtles were huddled together on a rooftop, watching as Donnie put the final touches on a tiny drone.

“But why can’t we go with April and Casey?” Mikey looked off in the direction the park lay longingly. From this distance, they could barely see the treetops. “I want to see Leo!”

“First off, we’re not even sure that it’s Leo, Mikey. Let’s establish that fact right away.” Donnie frowned, tongue sticking out slightly as he tightened a tiny screw. “It’s a human child that shares many similar traits with our eldest brother. That alone does NOT mean that he’s some sort of reincarnation. It would be foolish and irresponsible to make such a monumental verdict on so little data, no matter how much we wish it to be so. Let’s not all get our hopes up too high.”

“April thinks it’s him.” Mikey reminded him, climbing up a chimney and looking out over the city. “Casey too.”

“And I trust April’s judgement.” Donnie huffed, putting aside the small screwdriver and closing the cover plate of the drone. “But we need proof first. For now, it... it’ll be best to observe from a distance at first.”

Raph, who had been unusually quiet and subdued since the news had broken, was sitting off to the side, chin resting on his knees. He was holding one of those pictures that April had managed to sneak in yesterday, one of the blue eyed human blissfully eating a slice of pizza. He was staring at it with an odd, distant expression in his green eyes. “Last thing we want to do is to scare the kid.” he agreed quietly, not looking up from the photo.

Finished up his work, Donnie held up the tiny drone about the size of a hummingbird in one hand and flicked a switch on a remote he held in his hand with his other thumb. The drone shifted, then rose up to hover in the air with only the faintest of hums. Both hands free, Donnie pushed a few more buttons, and then the screen on the tablet laying on the crate next to him turned on, giving them a good view of Donnie’s snout, via the drone camera.

Donnie nodded, satisfied. “All systems are operational. April and Casey said that this human child told them he’d be in the park starting at six. If he takes the bus there, he should be arriving soon. Let’s see if we can’t spot him.”

Raph tucked the picture into his belt, hoisted himself up to his feet, and shuffled over as Mikey dropped down from his perch. All three turtles huddled around the tablet screen, watching eagerly as the drone took off and, under Donnie’s skillful control, flew off, giving them a bird’s eye view of the city as it moved towards the park.

Once it got there, they stopped and hovered around the bus stop, watching eagerly for anybody getting off. But after a while, it was clear that no children were getting off the city buses that occasionally stopped. Thus, Donnie made the decision to make quick sweeps of the park, to try and see if the kid had already arrived.

They were just about to start heading back to the bus stop when Raph stiffened.

“Wait! There!” he pointed at the screen.

Donnie paused, then brought the drone back around to the cluster of trees that Raph had indicated.

The edge of a well worn child’s tennis shoe could be seen poking out from the other side of the largest tree.

Donnie frowned, and maneuvered the drone around to get a better look.

They all froze and stared in stunned disbelief.

“Wait...” Mikey blinked, then looked around at his brothers in wonder. “Is he...”

“He’s... meditating?!” Donnie stared in astonishment at the young black haired human child sitting in a perfect lotus pose, eyes closed and breathing slow and measured. He lowered the controller and ran his hand over his mouth, for once speechless.

“That’s him.” Raph whispered almost breathlessly, unable to tear his eyes from the tablet screen. “That’s Leo.”

* * *

 I sat cross legged on a smooth rock in the quiet park, far back from the walking path that was just starting to attract the morning joggers. Hidden from view and with a large tree to my back, I rested with my eyes closed and my hands rested lightly on my knees as I tried to meditate. Normally this was a task that I found enjoyable and natural, but this morning I felt the buzz of excitement tingling at the back of my mind. My thoughts seemed to jump and skip around with wild abandon, no matter how hard I tried to calm them.

I wondered if April and Casey would come again today. They had said that they would. They wouldn’t go back on their word, would they? They had seemed even more eager to see me then I was to see them, so they obviously would come. Right?

I inwardly scolded myself. I needed to stop being so foolish, I had only met them once for a few hours. There was absolutely no reason for me to feel so attached to them already. Was I really that lonely and desperate for companionship that I was willing to throw myself at the first people to pat me on the head and show me the slightest hint of kindness?

Huh. Strange. I was starting to get the feeling that somebody might be watching me. But I couldn’t sense anybody nearby. Was it just my imagination?

I opened my eyes, just in time to see a small black blur zip away and disappear. I furrowed my brow in confusion, and tried to crane my neck to see where it went. What in the...? What was that? A small bird? A large flying bug?

I pondered this for a moment, then shrugged. Well, whatever it was, it was gone now, and while I still had a slight nagging feeling that I was being watched, oddly enough, I didn’t feel uncomfortable. I decided to ignore it and went back to my meditation.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Feel the air as it filled my lungs.

Concentrate on the flow as I exhaled through my mouth.

But no matter how much I tried, my thoughts kept going round and round.

Was I doing the right thing by trusting April and Casey? They were obviously hiding something, though I didn’t know what. For all I knew, they could be mass murders or psychos or something. Even if they weren’t, I had so much to lose and so little to gain. I could be thrown into foster care again, I could be forced to leave New York City, and then I’d never find my Shadows. I would lose everything that was important to me, all because they shared a pizza with me?

Speaking of which, they had said that they would bring lunch again today. I knew that we just had pizza yesterday, but I really wouldn’t have minded it much if we had it again today. Holy chalupa, did that ever taste good! Would it be rude of me to ask? It might be rude of me to ask. But April and Casey probably wouldn’t mind. Maybe I would ask.

* * *

“He looks so calm and peaceful.” Mikey whispered, watching the motionless Leo sitting with his eyes closed on the screen. “What do you think he’s thinking about?”

“Probably nothing at all.” Raphael shrugged in reply, his green eyes never leaving the tablet screen. “Leo always was good at clearing his mind and meditating properly.”

“That didn’t seem to dull his senses any.” Donnie kept a close, fascinated watch on the tablet as well, even as his three fingered hands deftly controlled the modified gamepad in his hand. “I can’t believe he almost noticed the drone. I built it to be as quiet and unobtrusive as possible!”

“Did you catch that glimpse of his eyes when he opened them, though?” Mikey asked in delight. “Those eyes... those blue eyes! You have to believe it now, Donnie!”

“It... sounds insane, but it’s looking more and more plausible, I’ll admit.” Donnie swallowed hard.

Was this really their Leonardo, come back from the dead?!

All three turtles watched the silent and still human child for a while longer, looking almost mesmerized by the tablet screen.

Another twenty minutes passed, and the ten year old boy still sat there, eyes closed with hardly a muscle twitch. A squirrel ran by, and a black bird landed close to him once, walking around and flipping fallen leaves over in search of bugs, as if Leo were no more then simple garden statuary. He certainly gave the impression of one.

“Man.” Mikey finally observed. “I forgot how boring it is to watch Leo meditate.”

“Yeah.” Raph absently agreed, obviously quite content to be bored at the moment if it meant watching Leo.

Neither of his brothers seemed to disagree with that sentiment.

* * *

Alright, so after quite a bit of internal monologuing, my final mental tally was twelve points in the column in favor of trusting April and Casey, and twenty nine points for why this was a crazy, stupid idea and I should not risk everything. Why was I even here, thinking about this? Why didn’t I just find a new park to hang out at somewhere across the city? It wouldn’t be that hard. I still needed to find my Shadows, after all, and this was all probably just one big distraction from that all important goal.

But, yet, despite all that... despite all this common sense trying to override my emotions, somehow, deep down, I just knew. This was okay. This was fine. Those two were my friends, and though I didn’t know why, I knew I really could trust them. And maybe, just maybe, I would finally find my Red, Purple, and Orange Shadows not far behind. I hoped so. I didn’t know how much longer I could keep searching like this.

Argh! Why was this so confusing?!

I let a deep breath flow through me. Of course, I could mentally debate this all morning. But I reminded myself that I really needed to meditate. I had been here for over an hour, and all I had done was mentally go in circles, the exact opposite of what I was supposed to be doing.

I directed my focus back on my breathing, and willed myself to let go of my confusing thoughts for now.

But, apparently, today wasn’t my day for spiritual enlightenment, as my silent inward battle was interrupted by the sound of leaves crunching under boots and people approaching.

Great. Just what I needed right now. Any sort of interaction with people in this normally deserted hour of the morning often led to trouble more often then not, so I found it easier to just disappear into the shadows and avoid people altogether. I had always seemed to have an uncanny knack for moving quietly and stealthily, and it served me well so far.

Cracking my blue eyes open just a little and using minimal muscle movement, I quietly reached over to grab my backpack, slid off of my rock in one easy, fluid movement, and then, like a shadow myself, quietly slide up the trunk of the tree I had been sitting by, taking shelter in the branches above and moving to stay hidden while hardly making a rustle.

Weird. I could have sworn I saw that black thing fly by again out of the corner of my eye. What _was_ that?

But then my attention was diverted to the two people who came through the trees into sight, and I brightened up, all the inward debating from earlier forgotten in an instant as I saw them. My heart and mood immediately lightened.

“April! Casey!” I said happily, moving forward on the branch so I was back in sight and letting my legs dangle down.

They looked up at me, startled, and then both grinned. “Leo! There you are!”

“Dude. What are you doing up there?” Casey eyed me sitting on the branch, obviously impressed.

“It’s a good place to watch the sunrise.” I shrugged noncommitedly, then casually observed. “You’re both here early.”

“Yeah, well, there was a couch that I really had my eye set upon, and wanted to get there early to make sure that it wouldn’t sell out. But, go figure, they’re closed this early.” April answered with a grin, standing underneath me.

I carefully made my way back down, jumping the last few feet and landing gracefully. “I was expecting you until closer to lunchtime, like yesterday. I don't usually start my homework for a few hours yet.”

“Why are you here this early then?” April asked curiously, kneeling down beside me.

“It’s quiet this time of day.” I shouldered my backpack. “I like to sit for an hour or so and get my mind settled for the day, while it’s still peaceful out.”

“Wait,” April tilted her head looked at me curiously. “You mean... like meditation?”

I shrugged again. “Yeah. I guess.”

“Huh.” April glanced at Casey, who looked at her with an amused, knowing look. “Not many ten year olds meditate.”

“It’s important to attend to one’s spiritual health as well as the physical.” I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes. Was she making fun of me?

She held up her hands peaceably. “Oh, I definitely agree with you! I was just impressed. My father in law used to train me in his dojo, so I know just how important it is to find your center and maintain it.”

“A dojo?” I perked up, extremely intrigued. “Really? Did he teach you any techniques? Do you know any katas?”

“Oh ho!” Casey grinned wide, almost ear from ear. “You find martial arts interesting, do you?” He stated it more as a fact he was thrilled to confirm then an actual question.

“You... could say that.” I bit my lip for a moment, leaning from one foot to the other as I mentally debated how open I should let myself be with these two. Then I turned and almost shyly opened up my backpack and pulled out a dog eared book with a worn yellow cover, obviously at least several decades old. “I... I found a book on martial art techniques in a used book sale once. I’ve... been trying to teach myself, but it’s kinda hard to get them perfect with only pictures and text to go by.”

“Oh... Leo...” April gently took the book and looked at me with dawning understanding in her green eyes, and she looked up at me with sympathetic sorrow. It was almost as if she realized just how badly I wanted to learn these things, and how disheartening it was to me not to have any way to learn it. But how could she know?

Casey gave me a friendly, encouraging grin. “Maybe we can show you some stuff. We have some experience, though April’s more of the ninja buff. I mostly punch things and hit them with sticks.”

I raised in eyebrow. “Couch shopping is that dangerous, huh?”

Casey choked, taken by surprise, then laughed and grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. “Well, you know how aggressive some salespeople can get...”

April smacked him lightly on the back of the head, rolling her eyes, then turned back to me. “He is right, though. We can help you with this as well. Tell you what, Leo. Why don’t you show us what you can do, and we can give you pointers on how to improve your stances?”

I paused for a moment, then grew quiet, studying her. Finally, I had to ask something I’d been wondering, and blurted out, “Why?”

She looked startled. “Why what?”

“Why are you two helping me so much? Why are you so nice to a strange kid you just met yesterday?” I winced, wondering if I was crossing a line by demanding answers, then let my sapphire eyes drift up to study them, trying to figure out if there was motive behind this. Every time I had trusted anybody, it had backfired on me. Why were these two so different?

A strange expression crossed her face, and then she exhaled and was quiet for a moment, obviously searching for the right thing to say. She swallowed hard, and looked back up at me, eyes warm but hesitant, like she was afraid she was saying the wrong thing.“Sometimes... you just _know_ , you know? That... that somebody is a friend.”

Oh. Well boy, could I ever understand that feeling! It... it was actually kind of comforting to know that other people had these weird feelings as well.

I stared at her for a moment, then slowly nodded, feeling almost shy as I showed both her and Casey more trust then anybody else in my whole life up to now.“Well... maybe... I... I kinda got that feeling as well.” I rubbed my arm awkwardly. “That... some people are... friends.”

It was terrifying and liberating both at the same time to actually say that to somebody. I had been alone for so long now.

“Leo...” April sucked in her breath. Then, hesitantly, as if she were unsure if she were moving too fast, she reached out and put a hand on my shoulder. Then, seeing as I didn’t object, she pulled me into a tight hug.

It... it was surprisingly nice. Familiar. Like I had found a small part of home. I had never been comfortable with physical contact from anybody, but I quickly decided that she was one of the exceptions to the rule. I wanted to hug her back, but I wasn’t sure if that was okay.

Slowly, uncertain at first, I raised my arms, then gently wrapped them around her.

Was that the correct response?

It must have been, because she hugged me tighter, and I relaxed and clung tighter to her myself.

She smelled strange, not at all like I thought she would, but the mixture of scents were heart-breakingly familiar. A mixture of perfume, chemicals and synthetic smells from what I imagined a lab would smell like, smokey and exotic incense, and, oddly enough, a faint smell of sewer? It didn’t sound like the most pleasant combination of scents, but I reveled in them.

Casey knelt down beside us and put a hand on my shoulder. To my surprise, he sounded a little choked up himself. “Leo. Dude. You got yourself some friends now. More then you know. And we’ll have your back, no matter what.”

“I...” I blinked as my voice cracked with emotion. Was I actually tearing up? Why was I doing that?! I couldn’t cry! Not now, not ever! I needed to be in control of myself! I cleared my throat, and said in a calmer voice, “Okay.”

I had friends!

I couldn’t help the stupid grin from crossing my face.

Then, gently pulling away from April’s embrace, I ran my sleeve over my face, because, you know, there was probably dirt on my face and in no way because of the slight moisture that might’ve started to gather in my eyes. I turned and grabbed my ninjitsu instruction book, and presented it shyly, almost hopefully to April. “Could you... show me? Please?”

April wasn’t afraid to show the tears in her eyes, and she wiped them away as she nodded. “Of course! Gladly!”

Grinning and feeling stupidly excited, I nodded. “Let me stretch out first, and then I’ll show you some of the things I’ve figured out.”

* * *

 “Holy Chalupa, you’re a nimble little thing!” Casey panted, leaning against his hockey stick.

I crouched in the grass, grinning eagerly and watching him, waiting to see if he’d make a move.

We were sparring! I had never sparred with anybody before! It was amazing and great and I felt my blood sing in my veins. Oh, if only it were my Red Shadow here with me! I didn’t know why I felt like that, but somehow, this sparring made me long for my Red Shadow specifically all the more. Did he like to spar? Would I ever know? How I wished I could find him and the others.

“Casey, don’t tell me that you were underestimating Leo! For shame!” April teased him from the sidelines of the imaginary sparring ring in the grassy clearing. She had been giving me all sorts of helpful advice on my stances and movements, and if I thought that homework help and pizza she gave me were great, they were nothing compared to this!

“He’s _ten_!” Casey protested, gesturing towards my much smaller frame as if that should explain everything.

“One must always be ready to adjust one’s strategy.” I smirked at him. “You’re a lot bigger and stronger then me, thus I need to focus on dodging and avoiding your attacks, conserving my energy while letting you wear yourself out.”

“Oh... oh my god. Leo.” Casey covered his face with his hand, shaking it in disbelief, before throwing back his head and letting out a genuinely happy laugh. He looked over at me with sparkling eyes. “You’re something else, you know that?”

I merely grinned at him eagerly, shifting my weight slightly. “Another round?” I asked hopefully.

“One more. Let’s work on your teishō, the palm heel punch.” April nodded. “But after that, we really should get your homework started. ”

I felt like I could spar all day if she’d let me, or run through the katas she showed me. Ninjitsu training was so much more interesting then math or history! But she was right. It was important to train the mind as well as the body and soul.

“Hai, sensei.” I said automatically without thinking, setting my stance.

I knew enough about dojo etiquette to know that that was a common enough phrase. Then why did April sudden look as if all the air had been knocked out of her lungs when I said it? She recovered herself quickly, and moved about, watching and giving instructions as Casey and I moved to spar once more, but now there were definitely tears in her eyes as she did so.

* * *

The morning went by far too quickly. To my delight, April and Casey asked me what my choice for lunch would be, and didn’t seem at all surprised that I was interested in pizza once more. I wondered if I’d ever tire of this? Friends? Ninjitsu? Pizza? It was all so new, yet all so strangely familiar. The only things that were missing were my Shadows. And yet, oddly, I felt like I was closer to finding them then I ever had been before.

Once in a while, I would spot the little black thing flying just out of the corner of my eye, but strangely, April and Casey never seemed to catch sight of it when I finally brought it up. I decided to ignore it for now, but made a mental note to look into it later.

But, as always, the pleasant day had to come to an end. Once again, we were interrupted as my watch attached to my backpack started to beep, and I was pulled back into the world where I couldn’t neglect my responsibilities.

“I’m afraid that I have to leave now.” I apologized to them, turning off the alarm regretfully and starting to pack my things up.

“Oh. I... suppose you have places to be.” April said leadingly as she watched me put my books away, obviously fighting the urge to pry.

"Sadly, yeah." I nodded, determined to remain vague for now. Friends they may be, I still couldn't tell them everything.

She looked slightly disappointed, but still smiled at me. "Well, we’ll see you tomorrow then, right?"

“Of course.” I smiled gratefully at her, then gave her a slightly impish grin. “Besides, I’m sure that couch store is open by now.”

She laughed at that, a warm, friendly sound, and just shook her head. “Just review those katas I showed you, and we’ll go over them again tomorrow, if that’s okay with you.”

“Of course, sensei!” I grabbed my backpack, missing the look she got once again as I said that. “Thank you April! See you later, Casey!”

“Bye Leo! See you tomorrow!”

* * *

“Follow him! FollowHimFollowHimFOLLOW HIM!” Mikey jumped on Donnie’s shell and grabbed his genius brother’s head while watching the screen intently, looking almost afraid that Leo would disappear right in front of his eyes.

“I am, Mikey! I am!” Donnie huffed, trying to navigate the drone with a brother hanging onto his face. He had years of experience, though, both with navigating the controller and dealing with his Orange Brother, and managed to do so effortlessly. “We’ll find out where’s he’s going.”

“April said that he left yesterday at the same time as well.” Raph observed, watching his human Leo on the screen as the drone’s camera followed him.

“Does he have a curfew?” Mikey wondered aloud, shifting slightly on Donnie’s shell and watching now with more curiosity and less panic.

“At two in the afternoon? That’s a strange time for one.” Donnie’s tongue stuck out slightly as he concentrated. “My guess is that he’s going to meet somebody.”

“His... family, maybe?” Mikey’s voice trailed off into a whisper, and his baby blue eyes grew wide with wonder at the thought.

“Maybe?” Donnie shrugged.

All three turtles grew quiet for a moment. It was a complicated concept to wrap their minds around. Leo might have a new family now. None of them were quite sure how to feel about that.

The drone flew easily through the air as they followed the young human past the bus stop and up the road. Then Leo disappeared around the corner of a building, and they moved to follow.

Unexpectedly, there was a jolt and a confusing tumble, and the screen went dark. Not completely black, so the screen wasn’t broken, but definitely too dark to make out anything.

Donnie muttered some things under his breath, and tried to see if he could still move the drone. There was thumps and clacks as the drone flittered around and continually crashed into some sort of barrier.

“Uh... What... what happened?” Raph turned and blinked at Donnie.

“I’m... not sure?” Donnie frowned, bit his lip. He fought with the drone’s controllers to no avail, and then finally sighed and picked up his tPhone. He hit a button and holding the phone up to his head. “April? Dear? Are you two still in the park? Could you check on something for me?”

* * *

“I don’t see it, Donnie.” April spoke into her headpiece as she and Casey glanced down an alley next to where the drone had gone dark. “Are you sure it’s still here?

“That’s where the tracking chip says it is.” Donnie sighed. “That drone was very difficult to make, and I’d hate to lose it. Just replacing the parts alone will be a headache.” He pushed on the controller stick a few times, making the drone move. “Can you hear it, at least? It seems to be stuck in something.”

“Huh.” Casey sounded amused suddenly.

“Uh, you guys might want to see this.” April turned on the camera in her tPhone to show him what they were looking at.

There was an empty paint can sitting upside down on the pavement by the wall, with a large brick on top of a neatly folded piece of paper placed on the top to weigh it down.

Donnie frowned, and pushed the controller stick again.

Yup. From inside the can, they could hear the clatter of small propellor blades hitting the metal walls. Casey reached out with his hockey stick and tipped the rusty old paintcan over, revealing the drone laying trapped underneath.

April knelt down, picked up the piece of paper, carefully unfolded it, and read it before breaking out in an amused grin.

There, written in very neat, elegant handwriting, was a polite letter to the owner of the drone, reminding them of the importance of respecting people’s privacy, and how it was rude to spy on people without their knowledge or permission.

“Wait.” Donnie peered at his small phone screen as April tried to show him, and then looked startled. “Did... did we just get lectured?”

“Is that... from Leo?” Raph breathed in disbelief, his green eyes wide.

“Awww... It’s like little Leo’s first lecture!” Mikey looked charmed by the letter. “We should put it up on the fridge. Ooh! Or frame it! Maybe I should start a scrapbook!”

“I don’t think we’re going to figure out where he goes today.” April looked down at the drone, which flew up and landed to rest in her open palm.

“Yeah...” Donnie put the controller down and leaned back. “We... we should probably head home. We’ve got a lot to process.”

“Yeah. What a day, right?” Casey stood next to April. “You guys going to be okay?”

“Are you kidding?” Mikey positively bounced on Donnie’s shell. “Guys, that was LEO! How can we be anything except awesomely, amazingly overjoyed?!”

“And a little overwhelmed.” Donnie added. “It’s a lot to wrap my mind around!”

“I’ll make sure to get your drone back home in one piece.” April carefully put it away. “I’m going to run a few errands, and then we’ll both see you back at the lair.”

“Yeah. See you two there.” Raph was still staring at the now-blank tablet screen, looking more then a little dazed. “Bring beer, Casey.”

“Can do, big guy.”

* * *

“Ohmygosh!” Mikey leapt over the turnstile as they entered the lair and did a springing handstand out of pure joy. “Leo! Leo’s really back! I can’t believe it! Dudes! We have Leo again!”

“I can’t believe it.” Donnie was holding the tablet, looking over the video footage they had taken. “I mean, I do. The evidence before us is far too concrete for me to ignore, but still... how is this even possible?!”

“He’s _Leo_!” Mikey spun around ecstatically, as if that explained everything. And, to him, maybe it did. “I’m so happy I’m... I’m... I’m going to give Raph a kiss!”

Raph’s hand shot out and intercepted his brother’s face as it lunged towards him. He was quiet and obviously dealing with intense internal emotions right now, because he didn’t even follow that up with the expected punch.

“The question is, what do we do now?” he asked as he looked around at the others.

“Mmph!” Mikey grabbed Raph’s hand and peeled it off of his face. “Isn’t it obvious?! He’s Leo! Our big brother! He’s back now! We fight over who gets to hug and snuggle him first! Oh! Just think about it! Leo back down here in the Lair again! He can play video games with me, Donnie can help him with his homework, we could teach him ninjitsu again! It’ll be just like the old times!”

Raph let his hand drop and was quiet.

“We can’t just pounce on him, Mikey.” Donnie tapped his chin, starting to pace as he thought this over. “While he does retain some traits from his previous life, he’s obviously not going to remember us. He’s currently just a child, and we don’t want to scare him, after all. We’ll have to introduce ourselves to him carefully and calmly.”

“Ooh! We should totally throw a ‘Space Heroes’ themed pizza party for him then! Surround him with things he really likes when he meets us, so it’s not so scary and intimidating!” Mikey’s eyes sparkled.

“That... might be a lot of external stimuli for him to process at once. Maybe something a little more subtle and low key.” Donnie chewed the inside of his lip as he considered this. He sat down at the table, placing the tablet on the table and began flipping through the images of human Leo. “I know we’re all impatient to meet Leo again, but maybe we should take a slow and gradual approach, take a few weeks to ease him into it. April and Casey could slowly introduce him to the idea of mutants being real and potential allies, and get him used to the idea first before physical introductions are made.”

“Dude, it’s Leo! He’s always been extremely adaptable to strange and unusual situations!” Mikey argued happily. “I think the sooner we meet him, the better!”

Raph listened to his brothers, who continued their debate and were growing more and more excited at the prospect of meeting their long lost brother. Finally, he swallowed hard, clenched his fist, then looked up, his voice hoarse. “Should... should we even be doing this?”

His two brothers stopped their debate and turned to look at him, perplexed.

“Doing what, exactly?” Donnie wrinkled his brow in confusion.

“Draggin’ Leo back into all this.” Raph said quietly.

Donnie and Mikey looked at one another, flabbergasted.

“Dude!” Mikey looked at Raph, mouth agape. “How could you even think that? Don’t you want Leo back?!”

“More then anything!” Raph snapped at him fiercely. “You have no idea how fuckin’ bad I...” He took a deep breath and forced his voice to level out. “Listen. Our life ain’t exactly easy or safe. We’re always finding ourselves in dangerous shit. And that... that already got Leo killed once.”

The other two brothers went quiet instantly, looking as if cold water had just been dumped on them.

Raph rubbed his arm and looked away miserably. “I’m... I’m just saying... I know we all want Leo back, but he... he’s just a kid now, he has a new family and a new life. A...normal life, if we let him keep it.”

The room was deathly silent.

Donnie groaned and put his head in his hands. “Raph, you’re right. You’re right! I was so excited about this sudden revelation that I didn’t even really think about it.” He sighed and let his hands run down his face.

“I... yeah. I suppose. I didn’t mean to... to... ” Mikey finally stammered. For once, he looked uncertain and unsure of his thoughts. “I didn’t mean he had to give up his new family.”

Raph continued slowly, painfully. “This isn’t the same Leo who was our leader and big brother. He’s just a kid right now. Is it really fair for all of us to spring all these secrets and changes on him all at once and expect him to suddenly be somebody he doesn’t remember?”

“Wait... No...” there was a tinge of fear in Mikey’s voice. “Are... are you actually saying that you think we shouldn’t meet Leo now? That... that we never get to have him back?”

“All I’m saying, Mikey,” Raph whispered in a hoarse tone. “... is that he’s back, but he’s back with a new life. Is... is it really fair of us to make him give that up, to force him back into his old life, just because we want him to?”

"I... I just..." Mikey looked as if he wanted to argue, then deflated as looked up at his brothers pleadingly. “I... I guess I’m just so happy just to see that Leo’s back. He... he doesn’t have to be our leader or the ultimate ninja or anything if he doesn’t want.” He swallowed hard, and said in a small voice, “I just want him to be... happy.”

Raph exhaled shakily, and reached over to pull Mikey into a comforting hug. “I think we all do, Mikey. And... and that means that we need to think of what’s best for Leo, and not just what we want out of him.”

Donnie waved a hand and sounded weary as he pondered this. “So lets examine this situation. Let’s say we bring Leo back into our lives. The pros are we have our brother back, and he gains our expertise, protection, and companionship, for whatever that’s worth. But the cons of that are he and his new theoretical and unknown family are pulled into a dangerous world where they will find themselves in deadly situations from time to time. He will forever have to guard our secrets, and any future relationships or ventures he wishes to undertake as a human will have to revolve around these secrets.”

He swallowed hard, then continued. “The alternate scenario is that we step back and let Leo live his new life. The pros of that are that Leo will be much safer, and he will be free to live a normal human life with his new family, free to form relationships or follow his ambitions without being weighed down with the world of mutants, aliens, and ninjas. The cons are that we... we don’t get Leo back.”

“Yeah...” Raph whispered. “That’s basically what I had figured as well.

“So what are you two saying?” Mikey’s voice was small, and it sounded like he was on the verge of tears. “We just found him again. Now we have to just let him go? We're going to lose our brother again?”

“Never. He’s our brother, and he’s always going to be our brother.” Raph shook his head, a sudden, determined gleam in his eyes. “Nah. He ain’t going to know it, but he’s going to have three guardian ninjas watching over him. He’ll always be our brother, and we’re going to take care of him the best we can. Even if we’re not going to be directly involved in his life, we ain’t going to let him be alone in this. Ever.”

Another stretch of silence ensued as they pondered that.

Mikey was quiet for a moment, then whispered in almost wistful wonder, “He could have a normal job with normal people, and maybe one day fall in love with a normal human lady and have normal kids of his own, and... and just be normal.”

“Yeah...” Raph’s voice was faint, as if he were trying to imagine such a life for himself.

“It’s too bad that he’s not going to public school right now.” Mikey swallowed hard. “I’ve always wanted to go to school. He would be really good at one of the sports teams.”

“I could see him on the soccer team.” Raph mused thoughtfully. Then he gave a wry shake of his head. “Or even swim, I guess, if he had any echo of his old turtle still in him.”

“Do... do you think he will eventually go to college?” Donnie gave a half hearted, hopeful smile. “Go to class, sit there and listen to the professor give lectures, actually be able to go up and ask questions and discuss the topics...”

“Go to frat parties?” Mikey added, sounding a little choked up as he attempted a joke.

Raph gave a hoarse laugh. “Leo? Could you imagine? He’d lecture anybody he came across about drinking, responsibility, and the importance of focusing on good grades.”

Mikey was quiet for a moment. “And... you know... it’ll be kinda cool to see. What’s it’s like for one of us to live a normal life.”

They all could agree with that.

"So..." Mikey leaned against Raph, needing the comfort. "I... guess that's it then."

"Yeah... Leo deserves at least that much from us." Raph said quietly, hugging his little brother.

Donnie moved over as well, pressing into the turtle huddle. "But we're not abandoning him." he reminded Mikey, sounding a little choked up himself. "We'll still take care of him, even if he doesn't know it."

“We'll always be his three shadows.” Raph agreed quietly. "Always."

“At the very least, we’ll have to sneak in and fix the toaster every time he breaks it.” Mikey finally snickered through tears.

That got a fond, wistful chuckle out of all three of them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus begins all of the brotherly angst! Mwahahaa!


	3. So Very Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *kicks story*
> 
> Why am I so wordy?! This was supposed to be a three, maybe four chapter story, one chapter to set it up, and a chapter for each of the brothers. Instead, these guys keep having unexpected emotions, and then I have to show how they deal and react to those emotions! *sighs* I'm going to really work hard at keeping this from being one great big angst fest. Hopefully I'll succeed. 
> 
> There will be sibling love and fluff coming up in future chapters, I promise.

“You guys are sure about this then.” April said seriously, standing there as Donnie fiddled with the jacket she was wearing. It was still dark out, in the predawn hours, and they were working by the light of the streetlamp in an alley close to the park. “You’re okay with staying in the background?”

“It’s for the best.” Donnie’s tongue was stuck out slightly as he continued to thread the wires seamlessly inside of April’s jacket. “Of course, if it turns out that he needs us to intervene, we will in a heartbeat, but for now, we want to give him a chance at living a normal life.”

“We owe Leo that at least.” Raph nodded in agreement.

“But we still want to watch over him.” Mikey added, feet swinging over the railing of the fire escape as he peered around with the binoculars. “So we are ninja spying!”

“Obviously the drone isn’t going to work, what with Leo being, well, Leo.” Donnie put the finishing touches on his work and released April’s coat. “That camera I just added should do the trick, though. It’s hidden, so he shouldn’t see it, and it’ll allow us to see what you see.”

“And you promised me a switch for turning it off when I need privacy, remember?” April raised an eyebrow at him expectantly. “You guys aren’t going to watch me going to the ladies room.”

Donnie coughed and turned a little red. “Of course. That’s this switch here.” He showed her. “As an added layer to give you peace of mind, you can unbutton this little strap of decorative cloth here, and it’ll fall over the lens. Just make sure to button it back up later when you’re turning it back on.”

“And wash your hands first.” Mikey reminded her, lowering his binoculars. “Hygiene is important.”

“Yes, of course Mikey. I’ll keep that in mind.” April rolled her eyes.

Donnie tested the camera, watching the tablet screen in his other hand. “Now, I only had time to make the one, but if you’re okay with it, I’ll make another one for you to wear later, Casey.”

“Course I don’t mind.” Casey was testing his swings with his hockey stick. He straightened up. “And if you guys want us to ask or do something with Leo, you’ll have to let us know. We support you guys no matter what.”

“You going to work on some of his katas today?” Raph asked. “Make sure that he’s watching his footing. I noticed yesterday that his right foot needed to go back a little. Help him balance a little better.”

“Oh, and that reminds me.” Donnie reached over to his bag and dug out a pack of cards, handing it to April. “I made some flash cards for his math homework. They always helped him before when he was learning it.”

“And I baked cookies!” Mikey held up a ziplock baggy. “He used to always be partial to snickerdoodles, so I hope he likes them as Little Leo as well.” He narrowed his eyes at Casey as he handed them over. “They’re for LEO, understand?”

April reached over and took the cookies before Casey could. “So we’re going extra early to try and catch him at the bus stop, see at least which bus and direction he’s coming from. Later, you guys are going to try and find out where he goes in the afternoon, right?”

Raph nodded. “Yeah, once he leaves, we’re going to try and tail him, see where he goes. Hopefully we’ll learn a little more about his home life and his new family.”

“I wonder if he has a mom.” Mikey said dreamily. “Maybe even a cookie baking grandma too.”

“I just want to make sure he’s not in any sort of trouble.” April frowned. “It’s not normal for a kid to spend so much of his day unsupervised and alone. Even if he’s as responsible as Leo is.”

“Agreed.” Donnie nodded. “I’ll feel a whole lot better once we know more about his situation.”

Casey glanced down at his watch. “We have to get moving if we want to make the bus stop before Leo.”

“Right.” April adjusted her coat. “Everything is ready?”

Donnie looked over his tablet screen and gave her a thumbs up. “Operation Shadow Search is a go!”

“Alright. Talk to you guys later!” April nodded, and she and Casey took off in a jog towards the park.

* * *

 

I waited patiently for the crosswalk signal to change, feeling excited for the day. I couldn’t wait to spar with Casey again! And hang out with April! I wondered if she would teach me any new ninjitsu moves? I should really get that history homework done too, I had been neglecting it. Ooh, I wondered what we would have for lunch? And yesterday, Casey had casually brought up going to that new Space Heroes movie that was coming out next month. I had never been to the movie theater before! Would they really take me? Should... should I go? I was already imposing so much on them already. Just how far was this going to go? How far would they let me into their lives, and how far should I let them into mine?.

As the light changed and I crossed the street, something else nagged at me, demanding my attention. Something new. Something... something extremely important. The most important thing I had ever needed to pay attention to. What was...?

As I was lifting my foot to step up onto the curb, I froze as realization suddenly hit me.

My breath hitched and I could feel my heart start to race wildly.

It... couldn’t be...

Nearby, in the alleyway by the flower shop in front of me, I could sense three auras.

Three colorful auras.

Three different, wonderful, amazing colors.

One was Red, one was Purple, and one was Orange!

Just like in my dreams!

Only this wasn’t a dream. I was awake! This was reality.

It was them!

It was my Shadows!

My heart almost leapt out of my chest with excitement and joy.

They were real!

I had found them!

After so many years, I had finally found them!

My legs almost gave out, but I quickly composed myself and quickly bolted over to the alleyway eagerly.

* * *

“Um... guys?” Mikey’s eyes went wide.

“What is it, Mikey?” Donnie asked patiently as he adjusted a few settings on the tablet.

“Leo’s coming down the sidewalk right towards us!” Mikey scrambled in panic away from the alleyway entrance.

“What?!” Donnie and Raph scrambled to their feet.

“He’s supposed to be taking the bus to the park!” Donnie squeaked.

“He’s just across the street, and making a beeline straight for us!” Mikey panicked.

“Everybody, hide! Now!” Raph ordered, leaping for the fire escape ladder. “We can’t let him see us!”

* * *

I slowed down and stopped as I stood at the entrance to the narrow alleyway, peering in at the darkness. I couldn’t see anything, but I could clearly sense three warm, beautifully familiar auras somewhere in there.

I was so happy, I felt like I would explode! My Shadows! At last! After looking for so long! I would finally have my Shadows, my family, the ones I needed to protect! I would have everything I ever longed for! Answers about who they were, and who I was!

I was going to belong to somebody! I wasn’t going to be alone anymore!

I eagerly took a step forward.

The auras of my Shadows pulled away, hiding deeper in the darkness.

I paused. Wait. What?

Were... were they trying to hide from me? But... why?

I took a few more cautious steps in. I couldn’t see anything except for heaps of cardboard boxes, a couple of dumpsters, and some trash strewn about.

“Hello?” I hesitantly called out. “Is... is somebody there?”

Silence. Nobody answered me.

I paused, wondering what I should do next. I hadn’t expected this.

“It’s okay. You can come out.” I tried gently.

They didn’t answer, remaining hidden out of sight.

Didn’t... didn’t they want me?

But... I needed them! I had to find them!

I felt the beginnings of panic starting to set in as I took a few more steps further into the alleyway, desperately trying to spot any sign of life.

All I caught was the flash of movement in the corner of my eyes, but I turned my head too late to actually see anything. There was no sound or noise, and if I wasn’t aware of their auras, I wouldn’t have even known that something had changed, but suddenly the auras of my three Shadows had scrambled up onto the rooftop, further out of my reach.

I stopped and swallowed hard.

“Hey, kid!”

I turned around to see a police officer standing on the sidewalk, glaring in at the alleyway at me.

“Get out of there, kid!” he scolded me. “It’s filthy and dangerous! You shouldn’t wander down dark alleyways by yourself!”

“I... I know.” I murmured, throwing one last look over my shoulder. “I just... thought I heard something.

The police officer peered over my head down the alleyway. “What? I don’t see anything.”

I shrugged, moving back onto the sidewalk and out in the open. “Yeah, it turns out there wasn’t anybody in there.”

He frowned, and looked down at me. And then there was the ever predictable question: “What are you doing out here anyways?”

I gestured sullenly towards my backpack. “On my way to school.”

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at me, but nodded. “Well, don’t dawdle, and from now on, just stay on the sidewalk, okay? It’s safer.” he instructed as he moved on his way.

“Okay.”

And I was left standing alone on the concrete.

Dead leaves skittered and rustled up the streets, carried by the cool fall wind. Off in the distance, I could hear faint car horns and the occasional siren wailing.

I just stood there for a moment, not sure what to do.

I... I was so close to finding them. My... my Shadows. They were up there, on that rooftop. I could, for the first time in my life, sense them so very close. Red. Purple. Orange. The ones who haunted my dreams.

I was finally here, where I always dreamed I would be. And... they didn’t want me?

I... I didn’t know how to even process this.

I wrapped my arms tightly around my aching chest, and shuffled numbly over to lean against the brick wall of the closed storefront, needing the support.

If... if I didn’t have my Shadows, what... what was I? What would I even do now?

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, and reached up to run my fingers shakily through my hair, my blue eyes darting back and forth as if searching desperately for answers in the cracks of the sidewalk pavement.

I had never felt so lost and scared and alone before. Never even in my dreams.

Why? Why didn’t anybody want me?! What was wrong with me?!

And then I realized that the auras of my three Shadows were starting to move about up on the rooftop above me as if growing agitated.

I glanced upwards. Leaning against the building like I was, I was standing underneath a red striped cloth awning, a small one jutting out just a few feet, but still deep enough to shelter approaching customers from the sun and rain.

I wiped the tears from my face, bit my lip, took a deep breath, and stepped out.

My Shadows seemed to calm down a little.

They... they had been growing anxious because they couldn’t see me?

I quietly stood there for a moment. And then I hesitantly shouldered up my backpack and started walking down the sidewalk.

And, to my immense relief, the three auras on the rooftop began to follow.

Hope starting to kindle once more, I walked a little faster.

They continued to follow, increasing their speed to keep up.

They weren’t rejecting me. Oh, thank god, they weren’t rejecting me. But... but apparently they didn’t feel the same about me as I felt about them. They seemed to be somewhat curious about me, but obviously didn’t feel strongly enough about it to actually let me close to them. Somehow, I needed to gain their trust first? Was that it? I would do anything they wanted me to!

Or...

I glanced up at the rooftops for a second, but it was so early in the morning, and with it being the mid-fall season, the sky was still dark with night yet, and I couldn’t see much.

While I could feel their auras up there, three beautiful, warm, and colorful auras of Red, Purple, and Orange, I hadn’t actually _seen_ anything. Was there anything really up there following me, or was I just wishing for my Shadows so badly that my mind was starting to play tricks on me? Maybe the real truth was that my degree of craziness was just intensifying, and I was starting to sense things that weren’t actually real.

I swallowed hard, and lowered my head as I walked, concentrating on sensing the auras as I walked down the lonely sidewalk, alone save for the crispy fall leaves that skittered and blew down the streets, and three intangible colors that followed me from a distance, where I couldn’t see or reach them.

Oh, let them be real. Please! Let them be real! And then let me someday belong to them!

I finally came up to the park, and paused, chewing my lip as I thought. The tree where I had been meditating yesterday. That would probably be the first place they would look. That would do as a place to leave a note for them.

“Leo!” A now-familiar voice called out, the tone lighthearted and filled with fondness.

I stiffened and whirled, caught completely by surprise. I had been concentrating so intensely on the auras of my Shadows and my own thoughts that I hadn’t been paying enough attention to my surroundings and who might be in them.

April and Casey walked across the grass towards me in the predawn light, their faces welcoming and glad to see me, their movements easy and carefree. They slowed slightly when they saw how tense I was, the smiles fading.

“Leo?” April asked, her face suddenly concerned. “Is something wrong?”

I swallowed hard, taking a slight step back. “I’m sorry. Something came up, and I won’t be able to hang out with you today.” I apologized in a voice that I barely kept from shaking.

“Leo, what’s the matter?” April was immediately serious, and she moved to quickly try and close the gap between us.

No! No, no, no! I couldn’t deal with that! My Shadows were so close, and I couldn’t let anybody take me away from them! I _wouldn’t_ let anybody take me away from them!

I stiffened and backpedaled a few more steps, muscles tensed and ready to run.

“Leo?” She froze when she saw that, and there was the slightest flash of fear in her eyes before she quickly took a deep breath and held up her hands in a non-threatening gesture. “Leo, we’re not going to hurt you. We want to help. What’s going on?”

“Nobody hurt you, did they?” Casey’s face went ice cold, and his hand involuntarily slid back to his hockey stick handle. His normally easy and casual manner was gone, and the playful mutt showed that he could indeed become a formidable and dangerous guard dog.

“No. No, I’m fine. I’m fine.” I lied, one hand moving to clutch at the sleeve of my coat and pull it closer around me. “Something just came up. I can’t stay, but I’ll be okay.”

April was quiet for a moment, obviously not convinced. Then she looked at me with those warm, understanding, concerned green eyes, and pleaded in a quiet, steady tone, “Leo. Let us help you. You’re not alone anymore.”

Those last four words hit me harder then I ever thought possible. I staggered, then closed my eyes, my nostrils flaring as I tried to calm my emotions.

I could not lose control.

Calm. Calm down.

Do not lose control

I had friends now. I had to remember that.

I needed to trust in my senses. I wasn’t really crazy.

Everything was going to be okay. I was going to be okay.

My Shadows weren’t actually rejecting me. I just needed to figure out what they wanted.

I swallowed, then opened my eyes and nodded, swallowing hard and relaxing my stance a little.

“Leo?” she asked again, and then slowly, hesitantly moved forward again. I didn’t move, just dejectedly watched she finally reached me, nor did I resist as she knelt down and gently wrapped me into a warm hug. She stroked my hair comfortingly, pulling me in close. Was this how a mother’s comforting hug would feel? “Oh Leo... It’s going to be okay. Everything’s going to be okay. We’re here now.”

I swallowed hard, then, after a minute or so, I exhaled slowly before carefully pulling back a little so I could look at her. I gently reached out and brushed back her red hair out of her face and behind her ear. “I’m okay, April.” I told her seriously, my voice calmer now. “It’s just... something came up unexpectedly, and I need to go figure out a way to fix it.”

“‘Something’? Like what?” She ran her hand across my cheek and didn’t look reassured.

I shrugged and looked away. “Just... something.”

Casey was kneeling by us as well, looking just as concerned. “You’re sure you don’t need me to cave somebody’s face in Leo?” he asked. “Because I will in a heartbeat for ya. Anytime, anyplace, anybody.”

Despite everything, I couldn’t help a small, humorless chuckle as I shook my head. “No. No, there’s no trouble or danger or anything. Just... confusing family matters to clear up, I guess you could say.” After a moment, I glanced up at him and added, “But thanks anyways for the offer, Casey. It means a lot to me.”

“We could go with you.” April offered, her green eyes serious. “Where ever you need to go.”

I shook my head, taking a few steps back out of her embrace. I shouldered my bag, then looked at her. “I’ll be back tomorrow.” I looked at them both, and took a deep breath. “I promise.”

April stood up, not looking convinced in the slightest. She looked like she wanted to argue, to push the matter further, but then she glanced off to the side, towards the very rooftop where the auras of my three Shadows waited, oddly enough, and instead swallowed hard and hesitantly nodded. “Tomorrow then. We’ll be waiting for you.”

Casey had been quickly scribbling something down on a piece of scrap paper, and he stepped forward to hand it to me. “Probably should’ve given you this earlier, but here’s our phone numbers. Call either of us if you need us.” His brown eyes looked at me worriedly. “I mean it, Leo. Anytime, anyplace.”

I took the paper with the numbers, nodding my gratitude, and set down my backpack so I could pull out my yellow book of martial arts techniques, slipping the number safely within the pages. “Thanks. I will.”

I reshouldered my blue backpack, adjusted it so that it sat comfortably on my back, and swallowed hard, before turning and heading out into the streets of the city. My heartbeat quickened a little, but then I felt my three Shadows begin to move, following me, and I felt relief flow through me.

I needed time and space to figure out this disconcerting turn of events, to figure out my confusing Shadows. Hopefully I would understand the situation more as the day went on.

* * *

April’s eyes narrowed as she watched Leo’s small form disappear around the corner, and she quickly pulled out her phone.

“We’re following him.” Donnie’s low, hushed voice immediately said seriously the moment he answered the phone.

“I knew you would be.” she said as Casey came up to stand next her. “Did you guys see anything earlier? What may have happened?”

“No.” Donnie gave a grunt as he apparently landed from a particularly long drop, though it obviously didn’t slow him down at all. “He almost walked in on us, but I’m certain he didn’t see us. A cop called him out of the alley, but left after a having a few words with him. We didn’t see anything before that.”

“He said something about it being a family matter?” Mikey joined in on his phone. “Maybe one of his new family members are in trouble?”

“That’s definitely one surefire way of getting Leo that upset.” April furrowed her brow worriedly.

“I swear to GOD, if somebody hurt him or his family...” Raph snarled, his tone harsh and dangerous.

“If so, then man, save some of them for me.” Casey fist clenched around the handle of his hockey stick tensely.

“No promises.” Raph’s voice held a humorless smirk.

“Leo promised you that he’d meet you two tomorrow.” Donnie said seriously. “And if there’s as much of our brother in there as we believe there is, he’ll keep his promise. Maybe he’ll explain more then. For now, though, we need to concentrate on shadowing him and keeping out of sight. We will not let him be alone in this.”

“Of course.” April nodded. “Keep us updated, and call us if you need us.”

“We will. Love you.”

“Love you too.” April bit her lip, and then the phone call ended. She looked at the blank phone screen for a minute, then quietly touched the small camera lens hidden on her coat. “Follow him and protect him.” she murmured, knowing that they would hear her. “Go where he will not let us.”

* * *

For the first few hours, I just wandered through the city without any destination in mind. I just concentrated on the three auras that followed me, and took comfort in the distant warmth they offered.

Alright, so maybe finding my Shadows wouldn’t be quite as easy or straightforward as I had thought. In all my years of dreaming about my Shadows, I had never even considered how they would react to me. I had foolishly thought that all I would have to do was find them, and they would welcome me in with open arms, and I would spend the rest of my life with a family that wanted me.

But this was okay. I was not going to give up. They were _here_. That had to mean something! At last, I had found some sign of them! Maybe I wasn’t crazy after all! I had waited for them since I first started to dream at night. I could wait a little longer, if they required that of me. I... I just hoped it wouldn’t be too much longer.

The disappointment that had overwhelmed me before slowly faded away into determination. And then, eventually, to curiosity and wonder.

My Shadows were my whole life, the most important things in the world to me, but I just couldn’t _remember_! But now they were here, and I wanted to know everything about them that I could learn!

I began to pay close attention to the auras and their movement. I quickly learned that they didn’t like open areas with little cover, skirting carefully around the edges of them, and they deliberately seemed to avoid any interaction of any type with people as we moved through the city. They moved a little more easily and freely if we were in a place filled with plenty of hiding spots and shadows to hide in, and once, when I unexpectedly found myself in a slightly more dangerous area then I had intended, they all moved in much closer around me, bristling up protectively until I was safely through.

That, more then anything, calmed and soothed my aching heart and gave me hope.

I also learned that they seemed unable to follow me inside of buildings. Everytime I went inside somewhere, whether it was to use the restroom or take shelter from the prying eyes of a well-meaning but too curious adult, my Shadows would split apart, swarming around the building and its exits until one of them spotted me leaving, at which point they would group up again and patiently resume following me.

I couldn’t help but give a fond, hopeful smile when I noticed that.

The more I saw, the more I began to hope that maybe they wanted me more then I had initially assumed. They were certainly acting like I was important to them. Oh, I hoped so. They were important to me!

I was so absorbed in my three Shadows that I was startled by the beeping on my backpack. I jumped, then quickly twisted about to turn the alarm off. It was that time already? Ugh. It was only two in the afternoon, but today had been such a chaotic emotional roller coaster that I already feel exhausted. I did feel better about the situation. Oh, so very much better. I had finally found my Shadows, after all, and could now tell that, even if they were keeping their distance, they were at least interested in me. While things hadn’t gone quite as I had hoped, they weren’t as terrible as I had feared, and I now could face the future with more hope and determination then I had felt in a long time.

I looked around with uncertainty. If I didn’t want to be late, and every fiber of my responsible being did not want to be late, then I would have to get moving. I was further from my destination then I normally was.

But... it would require taking the subway. Would my Shadows be able to follow? I looked up, and realized suddenly that all three of my Shadows had suddenly moved in closer. They were still out of sight, of course, but they felt much closer, and the three colors seemed to flare up with purpose and determination.

I put my alarm away, shouldered my backpack, and began moving towards the nearest subway entrance, noting the resolve with which they followed me. They seemed quite determined to follow me and that gave me confidence I needed to go ahead with my route. I joined the crowd of people flowing down underground, hopped down the steps nimbly, and moved to pull out my Metrocard.

That confidence faded away after I finally noticed that my three Shadows were still above ground, moving around now with a lot less certainty.

And then the doors closed, the carriage jolted and began moving, and the auras of my Shadows faded away into the distance as the metro train began to move, finally disappearing altogether.

Oh...

Oh crap!

I lost them!

I had just found my Shadows, and I lost them!

I stood in the midst of the jostling adults standing around me in the moving train, eyes wide and wondered just how badly I had messed things up.

* * *

“AAAAAAGH! We lost him! We just found him, and we lost him already! We messed up everything! We’re the worst big brothers ever!” Mikey had his hands on his head and was rambling in circles on the rooftop in a panic.

“Go figure he would take the subway while it’s so busy!” Donnie ran his hands down his face. “Tracking him through a human crowd like that in such tight quarters will take hours of careful planning and preparation!”

“Guys, calm down.” April said over the phone. “Leo’s going to be okay. We’ve already determined that wherever he goes at this time of day is part of his normal routine.”

“Well, we also determined this morning that something was wrong!” Raph snapped, forehead pressed against a brick wall and fists clenched in frustration.

“Yeah, about that.” Casey’s voice wondered over the phone. “Did you guys ever find out what happened?”

“We found out that Leo can cover an extremely impressive amount of New York City in a short amount of time.” Donnie sighed.

“Seriously, dudes. I was having flashbacks to all those training runs he used to make us run.” Mikey stopped panicking to join the conversation in agreement. “We were going _everywhere_!”

“If he was interacting with his family, or anybody else in any way, we certainly didn’t see it.” Donnie admitted. “He just seemed to be moving for the sake of moving. Once in a while he’d go inside a building and we’d lose sight of him, but it was never for very long, and then he’d immediately start wandering again once he came back out.”

“He... he did seem to be feeling better, though.” Mikey bit his lip and looked thoughtful. “Near the end there? He didn’t look nearly so sad.”

“Yeah. I wish we coulda done more, though.” Raph sighed, pushing away from the wall and moving towards his brothers. “I feel so useless.”

“I thought for sure we were going to be able to pull this off.” Donnie groaned. “We’re highly trained ninjas. We’ve taken on aliens, demons, entire armies, dimensional horrors, and even demigods. How hard is it to trail and protect a ten year old child?!”

“We are talking about Leo here.” Mikey offered.

Donnie sighed and slid off the air conditioner unit he had been sitting on, standing up. “Come on, guys. There’s nothing more we can do out here tonight. All we can do for now is work on a plan, and be there for Leo tomorrow morning at the park.”


	4. Faded Memories

Raph sat kneeling before the lovingly maintained shrine set up under the large tree, quiet and obviously lost deep in his thoughts. He reached out and gingerly traced the ragged blue cloth laying on the wooden shelf, an old mask neatly folded next to a pair of well worn swords, lovingly tended to. Then Raph paused, his hand hovering near the framed picture placed in the center of the display.

Swallowing hard, Raph reached over and slowly picked up the framed picture. His electric green eyes grew soft as he studied it, his scarred hand hovering just over the photograph as if longing to touch the object of the image, yet not daring to touch the glass.

He had always liked that picture of Leo. April had been experimenting with photography, and had taken several portraits of everybody, including this one. His oldest brother stood there in an easy, relaxed pose, gazing at the camera with the barest hints of a smile and a sideways glance. His blue eyes were warm, happy, and sparkled with an inner light, displaying a friendly, almost playful side of the blue, sword wielding turtle that usually only his family and those he trusted ever really saw.

Raph took a deep, shaky breath, then twisted about to pull out the photograph of the human child from a pouch on his belt. He held the piece of paper next to the framed photo, and for a moment, it was like he forgot how to breath.

Those blue eyes. Those sapphire blue eyes that, even in the pictures, seemed to be as deep and bottomless as the ocean. Eyes that seemed to see everything and serenely dared those they bore into to try and unlock the unfathomable power that lay deep in those blue depths.

Those eyes were the same in both of the pictures. One in a decade old photo of a sword wielding, blue clad mutant turtle, and the other in a young, black haired child’s face. How could they be so different, and yet both familiar and identical?

“It’s kinda hard to wrap your head around, isn’t it?”

Raph just exhaled slowly, and carefully set the framed picture back on the shrine.

Mikey moved around to kneel beside him. “You okay, bro?”

“... Yeah.”

Mikey leaned against him, giving him the physical comfort he needed but would never ask for. “Dee wanted me to come get you. He’s working on some plans to help figure this Leo situation out in the Lab.”

“‘K.” Raph nodded in acknowledgment.

Mikey looked at the shrine meant to honor the dead, then at Raph hesitantly. “Do you think we should, I dunno... Still be keeping that up? Yunno, since Leo’s been reborn and all that?”

Raph stiffened at the thought, then shrugged. “Would feel weird to take it down.”

“Yeah. Almost... disrespectful or something.” Mikey agreed. He was quiet for a moment, then chuckled. “What a weird problem to have! How many people have to wonder what to do with the shrine to their brother’s spirit, because it turns out that he’s not actually a spirit anymore, but running around alive in a new body?” He snorted. “Really. For ten years, I’ve been offering Leo pizza and tea, and go figure, he wasn’t even dead anymore to enjoy it!”

Both Raph and Mikey paused, and the weight of those words suddenly seemed to echo through their very beings.

Leo wasn’t dead. He was a very much alive human child now.

For ten years now, they had dealt with this huge empty void in their lives, and now, somehow, against all logic, reason, and sanity, their older brother had once again come back to them!

It was a mind blowing turn of events.

_Leo wasn’t dead!_

How was this even possible?!

Mikey couldn’t help but give a huge grin and a happy wiggle, then reached out and touched the framed photo on the shrine. “Leo... bro. What can I say but ‘You’re amazing!’”

“Only Fearless.” Raph shook his head with disbelieving smirk.

“Hey though. I figure there’s somebody that we could call on for some help.” Mikey gave Raph a wink and sat up on his haunches, pulling out a piece of cheese on a stick. He turned to the shrine next to Leo’s, the one they had built for their father and beloved sensei, and carefully lit the candles, before setting the cheese stick down, making the offering of one of their father's favorite treats.

“Master Splinter. Sensei.” Mikey started, tucking his knees underneath him and bowing low before the shrine. “I don’t know if you helped Leo figure out his way back to us. If you did, major, major thanks! Like, you have NO idea how over the moon we are to have Leo back! It's the greatest thing to ever happen to us!” He grinned, but paused, then continued a little more somberly. “But... our bro is out there alone right now, and we’re still trying to figure out how to help him. So, if you don’t mind, could you keep an eye on Leo for us for a bit? I think he could all the help he can get right now.”

Raph swallowed hard. Then he carefully slipped the photo of the blue eyed human child back in his belt, shifted so he was facing Splinter’s shrine, placed both of his hands on the ground, then bent down so low that his forehead touched his knuckles, closing his eyes respectfully as he bowed in silent prayer.

Then, after a minute or two, he pushed himself back up and was quiet for a moment, before muttering, “Wish there was more we could do to help him.”

It made even his shell ache when he remembered how upset child Leo had looked before. Leo was hurting and alone and scared out there, and Raph was more then half tempted to just charge out of the Lair and search all over the city until he could find this version of his brother, make sure he was safe, and somehow make things right.

“Yeah.” Mikey agreed, leaning on Raph with a sigh. “Poor little bro looked freaked out about something!” He looked up at his Red brother, and put a comforting hand on his head, pulling him down so their foreheads were touching. “But remember, this is Leo we’re talking about. Even though he’s chibi now, he’ll be okay. He’s.... well... _Leo_. ”

“Yeah...” Raph tried to let himself be convinced. Then he clamored up to his feet, and offered a hand to Mikey. “Come on. Let’s go see what Donnie wants.”

* * *

Stepping into the lab, both Mikey and Raph were almost immediately overwhelmed by the pure chaos and energy as items were strewn and hastily rearranged, papers were printing and stacked on every available surface, and several computers were quickly set up and running programs. A large board with a map pasted on it was propped up in the center of the lab, covered with several push pins marking certain locations on the map, all connected by strands of blue yarn

“There you are!” Donnie rushed over and shoved a large armful of rolled up maps into a startled Raph’s arms. “There’s so much to do and so little time to do it in!”

Raph had to quickly juggle the avalanche of paperwork to keep it from slipping and falling everywhere. “Uh...”

“Those are maps of the subways system, and the timetables of the trains.” Donnie continued, moving over to grab a handful of papers that had just finished printing. He began pinning the paper to the large central map. “I need you to find the station that Leo entered, as well as the ones closest to the park. Cross reference them, and try to figure out what trains Leo possibly takes, and we can start working on a plan to try and figure out where he goes.”

“Okay?” Raph blinked.

Mikey moved over to the large map, poking one of the push pins stuck in it curiously. “What’s all this?”

“I’m recreating the route that Leo took yesterday, including all the stops he made and buildings he visited.” Donnie explained, tongue sticking out slightly as he smoothed out the paper he has just pasted. “I’ll research the connections between them, try to figure out what he trying to accomplish, and hopefully find some clues as to what is going on with Leo.”

“His path seemed pretty random.” Mikey said doubtfully, plucking at the taunt blue yarn connecting the pins. “Do you really think you can figure this out?”

“It is a long shot.” Donnie admitted, studying the map, then reaching over to push a few more pins in. “But if this is Leo we’re talking about, and I think we’ve all come to agreement that it is, then he rarely moves without purpose. If there’s a chance of figuring out what he was up to, who he was meeting with, and, most importantly, what has gotten him so upset, then I’ll make the effort.”

Mikey studied the yarn that indicated the path they taken all over the city. “Perhaps he was just testing us?” he looked to his two brothers jokingly. “Remember when Leo used to lead us on games of ‘Follow the Leader’? It was one of his favorites.”

Raph scoffed, unrolling the maps that Donnie had assigned to him. “He doesn’t even know we exist, Mikey.”

He began scanning the subway systems, determined to figure this out, even if it took him all night. From the looks of it, Donnie and Mikey felt the same way.

After the stressful day they just had, it wasn’t like any of them were planning on getting much sleep tonight anyways.

* * *

_This... this was new._

_Where was this?_

_I knew this place._

_I knelt in a large dojo with stone walls, dominated by a beautiful tree growing under a ray of light beaming down from a hole in the ceiling. It decorated with an assortment of various rugs, most of them looking like they were scavenged and carefully repaired and cleaned. The walls and dividers were covered in beautiful Japanese scrolls and artwork, and various exotic weapons were hung with pride._

_It was familiar._

_It was home._

_There was somebody kneeling right next to me, a calm, comforting presence._

_After a moment, I gathered up my courage and looked up at him hesitantly._

_A brown and white furred rat in a burgundy red robe meditated serenely beside me. At my inquiring glance, he opened his eyes and looked down at me. I stared in wonder. His brown eyes were filled with so much warmth and wisdom._

_He smiled down at me with pride, and in that moment, I knew that I was safe and that I was loved._

_I settled down next to him, closed my eyes, and together we meditated under the tree in that beautiful dojo._

* * *

 

**_Beep! Beep! Beep!_ **

I almost leapt out of my bed in surprise, startled out of a deep sleep by my alarm clock. I quickly swatted at it, turning it off, and settle back, blinking myself awake the rest of the way.

It was very rare that my alarm woke me up, and never had I been in such a deep sleep that it had caught me unaware like that. Usually I was already awake by that point, woken up either by my internal clock, or by those dreams that haunted me of my Shadows. But the dream I had of the tall rat person last night had been so comforting and warm.

_Leonardo. Fear nothing._

A strong but gentle voice echoed in my mind, fading away along with the warmth of the dream.

Then, once again, I was left alone in a cold, dark, dilapidated room.

But I wasn’t going to be alone forever.

I had found my Shadows! I knew they were real, and I knew I wasn’t crazy!

I rolled out of bed and began gathering up my clothes with renewed determination.

If I found them once, I would find them again. And I would be strong for them, and show them that I could protect them. That I could belong to them!

I would not give up! Not now, and not ever!

* * *

I rushed through my morning routine, hurriedly pulling a spare blanket over the drunken, sleeping form of Mr Owen passed out on the entryway of the house, before rushing straight over to the alleyway where I had found them the morning before, going as fast as I could go.

Swallowing hard, I clutched my backpack close to me as I crept closer towards the alleyway by the closed flower shop. Above me, the dawn sky was dark and heavily clouded, promising a possible cold fall drizzle later, and making the morning darker then usual.

But now, as I approached, I was disappointed to realize that the alley was empty and lifeless, except for the stray cats that glanced at me warily. There were no warm auras waiting for me this morning.

With a sigh, I turned to start walking down the sidewalk towards the park.

And there, waiting for me in the branches of some of the trees, were the auras of my three Shadows. Red. Purple. Orange.

I exhaled in shaky relief.

They were here!

Things were going to be okay. Even if I accidentally lost them, it looked like my Shadows would try to find me again. Either that, or my particular form of crazy just liked to let me suffer by wondering if I had lost my possibly imaginary family forever.

No. No, I needed to stop thinking like that. I wasn't crazy. They were real! My Shadows were real, and I needed to protect them.

I didn’t try to approach them. I had learned that lesson yesterday. Instead, I moved through the grass, covered in cold morning dew, and settled down on the rock by the off-path tree, getting ready to meditate. I tried not to shiver as the cold late fall breeze blew past me, permeating my rather thin clothes.

Now that I realized that I hadn’t lost them, I needed to figure out how to gain their trust. Plus, there was a matter of my two new friends, friends that I felt oddly protective of already. I suppose my little meltdown yesterday in front of April and Casey would have left them worried. I inwardly chided myself for allowing myself to lose control like that. I needed to be stronger then that! For April and Casey, and for my Shadows.

“Leo!”

I opened my eyes and turned around to see April jogging up to me, looking concerned.

I gave her a gentle, warm smile in greeting, hoping to show them that I was okay. “Good morning.” I looked around curiously. “Where’s Casey?”

“He’s looking around a few other places in the city. He’ll be over shortly.” April looked relieved and worried at the same time as she knelt down besides me, examining me closely. “Leo, are you okay? What happened?!”

“I’m fine.” I patiently endured the examination, secretly enjoying the attention and care. “I apologize for worrying you yesterday. I just overreacted to a unexpected development, but everything turned out okay in the end.”

“Leo.” she apparently somehow knew me well enough to stop fussing and give me a Look.

I gave a heavy sigh of acknowledgment. Fine. “It was... a family matter. But I think I have it worked out. ”

April was quiet, then, after a moment, she pulled back a bit and sighed. “Leo.” she said, looking down at me seriously, and I raised an eyebrow at her inquiringly. “I... I can tell that you want some privacy in your life and I respect that. I don’t ever want to make you uncomfortable.” she chose her words carefully. “But I want to make sure... you’re... okay, right? You’re not... in any bad situations?”

I was quiet for a moment. I wanted to reassure her, but I couldn’t tell her everything. Being the responsible adult she was, she would definite want to ‘help’ me by getting me into a proper environment for a child to live in. She would call the authorities on me for my own good, because she was a good person and cared that way.

But I couldn’t let that happen. Not until I had my Shadows.

I paused. I wouldn’t lie, but I couldn’t tell her everything. “April, I’m honestly fine. If it’ll ease your mind, I’ll admit that I’m a little lacking in... consistent parental guidance... and perhaps the financial situation of my home life is less then ideal, but I promise you, I’m not unhappy. I have a roof over my head, enough food to eat, and I’m not being abused or harmed in any way.” I exhaled, and felt the auras of my Shadows around me. “My family... is a little...” I searched for the proper word. “... reclusive, I guess I could say. But they are the most important thing in the world to me.”

April looked at me for a long moment, then nodded, pulling me back into a hug. “Okay. But Leo, if you need anything, anything at all, we’re here to help. Do you understand?”

I smiled at her and nodded. “Thank you.

What I couldn’t tell her was that the only thing I needed was my three Shadows. And that was something that I didn’t think she could help me with.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let my emotions get away from me like that.” I sighed. “I failed to be in control of them.”

“Oh, no. No, we are going to nip this right in the bud this time.” April growled at me.

I blinked in surprise. 'This time'? What did she mean by that?

“Leo, listen to me. True strength isn’t bottling up your feelings inside so they don’t bother anybody.” she said gently, running her fingers through my hair, smoothing it down. “It is true that you’re strong, even when alone. But true strength comes from your friends and family. True strength is being strong enough to face those feelings, to trust them to your friends and family and trusting them help you.”

I blinked at her, and then lowered my eyes as I tried to process her words. I didn’t want to be a burden on anybody, ever. I wanted to be stronger, strong enough to protect everybody. What she said made sense, but... I didn’t know if was something I was capable of doing. It was like I had years upon years of habit ingrained into my soul, even though I was only, theoretically, a child. “I... I will meditate on that.” I finally admitted.

She sat down next to me, smiling at me in encouragement. “Then, if you don’t mind, I think I would like to get some meditation in as well.”’

“Of course.” I nodded, inwardly dancing with delight. But... before that... there was something I had to ask her.

“Um, April. You mentioned that your father in law runs a dojo, right?” I hesitantly asked.

She paused, and then finished folding her legs as she looked a little sad. “He... did. But my Sensei died years ago.”

Oh. Well, so much for that idea. “Oh.” I said quietly. “I’m... sorry.”

And I really was. For some reason, I felt a genuine pain in my heart at that.

“He was a great and noble man, a warrior soul with a gentle heart.” She gave a half smile and reached over to brush a lock of my hair out of my face. “Like you.” she observed.

I looked at her in surprise.

She smiled at me and nodded knowingly, wistfulness in her eyes. “I know he would have loved to meet you, Leo.”

I rubbed my arm, unsure if I was doing the right thing. “April, I... I have a rather big favor to ask of you.”

She looked at me, surprised, but nodded. “Of course, Leo. You only have to ask.”

“Will you be my sensei?” I blurted out before I could lose my nerve.

She froze, eyes wide. I thought I could even feel my Shadows shift around in surprise. Strange. I would think they’d be too far off to hear us.

“I don’t have any money to pay you.” I swallowed hard. “But... but I need to become stronger. I need to!”

“Leo...” she breathed, looking at me with wide eyes. She looked around for a second, and if I hadn’t known better, I’d say she was looking towards the trees where my Shadows hid for a second, before turning back to me. “I... I mean I will teach you everything I know, of course. If that’s what you want. But... but I’m not sure I’m good enough to be called your sensei.”

“I believe you are.” I said sincerely, looking up at her hopefully.

She made a strange little noise, and then was quiet for a long moment after that. I suddenly realized that she was trying hard not to cry.

“I... I’m sorry!” I shrank back a little.

“Oh Leo!” she fiercely wiped away her tears, and, to my surprise, turned and pulled me into a tight, possessive hug. “Leo, I... I would be beyond honored to be your sensei.”

I paused, then broke into a wide grin. “Really?!”

“Yes, really.” she squeezed me harder, then pushed me back to arm’s length, looking me over and running her hand against my cheek. “Though I’m afraid that you may be disappointed. I’ll do my best.”

I looked up at her with the utmost confidence, grinning with joy. I had a Sensei! “Well, I’ve already figured out that the best of April O’Neil is nothing to underestimate.”

She laughed, gave me one more hug, and then settled back into a seiza. “Alright. So, let’s start out like we were planning originally. Let’s start with meditating while we can, before Casey comes. Let me tell you, once he arrives, there will be little peace.”

“Hai, Sensei.” I copied her seiza pose, settling in next to her.

Both of us had big smiles on our faces.

* * *

“So April’s going officially to train him as his sensei?” Donnie looked at the tablet screen thoughtfully. “This... this is actually an ideal development! With that, we can better track his situation and steer his education and development!”

Raph was looking at the young boy meditating on the screen almost longingly, but then gruffly crossed his arms and looked away. “We’ll have to help April come up with the lesson plans. Make sure he’s learning things properly.”

“They won’t always be able to meet in the park.” Donnie tapped his chin, deep in thought. “Winter is coming up, and soon it will be too cold. It’s too bad we couldn’t just take him down to the dojo.” He looked up and snapped his fingers. “The antique store that April’s aunt left her. Now that her dad moved to California, the apartment has been sitting empty. They could use that as a dojo!”

“Hm. That could work.” Raph agreed. “We’ll have to clean it up first, but I think it’ll make a decent dojo. I could even move some of our old exercise equipment up there.”

“Hey. Mikey, you’ve been rather quiet about this.” Donnie looked over to their orange brother as he realized this, perplexed. Mikey was rarely quiet.

Mikey was staring at the tablet, a funny look on his face. Then he shook his head and looked up, giving his brothers a forced smile. “Think we can teach him swords again? I think he’ll like that.”

“Maybe... maybe in a few years.” Donnie frowned, eyeing his youngest brother curiously. "April will have to work on the basics first, of course."

Raph looked thoughtful. "I think I know where our old bokken are stored. We can dig those out and restore them."

"Yeah." Mikey sounded distracted as he turned back to the meditating Leo on the screen.

When April had married Don eight years ago, she had taken on their family name, Hamato April. That was the name that she always used now.

Leo... he had just called her April O’Neil.

How... how did he know?

* * *

 Casey quickly jogged across the dew covered grass, noticing April sitting quietly by herself, sipping at tea, and hurried over to her.  
  
“I’m here!” he panted. “Sorry it took me so long. Traffic was terrible! How’s Leo?”  
  
April wrapped her hands around the steaming tea cup, enjoying the warmth it emitted on this cold morning. “He seems to be fine, thankfully. I think things are going to be okay.” She looked up at him, a wonder filled, happy look on her face. “And he asked me to be his sensei! Can you believe that?! I’m Leo’s sensei now!”  
  
“Oh, that’s great! Congrats, Red! You’ll be great at it!” Casey looked relieved, and then proud. He glanced around curiously. “Where is he, though?”  
  
“Oh, we’re working on lessons right now.” April took a small sip of her tea.  
  
“Lessons?” Casey looked at her, confused. “What sort of lessons? GAHK!”  
  
And suddenly he was buried under the full 43 pounds of a ten year old boy dropping out of a tree, a few dry leaves fluttering down in my wake.  
  
April calmly took another sip of her tea. “Pouncing lessons.” she said simply. 

* * *

 


	5. Leo's House of Cards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've made this claim before, but I know little to nothing about actual New York, and thus make up a lot about locations. My sincerest apologies to people actually familiar with the city and how it works. I assure you, it'll happen again.

* * *

 

I was quite touched to learn that Casey had been just as worried about me as April had been. As soon as he sputtered out the grass and leaves and clambered back up to his feet, he quickly had to check and make sure I was alright, and then dragged me over to the makeshift sparring circle. Apparently Casey Jones' idea of therapy was lots of hitting things, and he was bound and determined that he was going to help me work through any issues I had as best as he could. Not that I was going to complain. I had only had one day of it, and already I felt addicted to the rush of sparring.

I hoped my Shadows were watching. I wanted them to see how hard I was trying for them.

Then it began to drizzle, and we had to stop. Covered in grass stains and sweat, we moved to wash up as best as we could in the washrooms. Casey grumbled as he came out in the cool air with wet hair, and began talking about finding a place indoors and with proper showers. I wouldn't have objected to that either. I was starting to think that maybe I should bring a change of clothes for this. I’d have to figure out a way to make that work. I couldn't really afford to buy more clothes, but I supposed I could get away with maybe doing twice the laundry.

We instead worked on homework for a while, April once again tutoring me. She even had made flash cards for me to help with my math! She was such an amazing sensei!

It was shortly after Casey ran off and got us some Chinese food for lunch, which, by the way, was absolutely delicious, that I noticed two of my Shadows move away and disappear. Red was still there, but first Orange, and then Purple slipped off somewhere.

Huh. What was going on with them?

* * *

 Two o’clock came and, like they’d come to expect, Leo’s alarm beeped, and once again he bid them farewell. April and Casey watched the small, black haired ten year old jog off down the street, until he was lost to sight.

“He needs a warmer coat.” April frowned, arms crossed. “We should really look into getting him a warmer coat.”

“I noticed that you didn’t ask him about where he’s going today.” Casey observed.

April nodded. “Yeah, I didn’t want to stress him further by unnecessary prying at the moment. The turtles have a plan for following him, and they’ll find out soon enough.”

Casey was quiet for a moment, then flashed her a grin. “So... Sensei?”

“Oh, I know!” April laughed and covered her face. “I can’t believe it either! It completely caught me by surprise when he asked! But... oh, you should have seen the look in his face, Casey!” She shivered and wrapped her arms tightly around herself, as if in disbelief. “The look... It was like, just for that moment, the adult Leo we knew was sitting right there beside me. Like he never left!” She gave a shaky exhale, and looked to Casey in wonder. “He said that he believed in me! _Leo_ fully believes that I am good enough to be his sensei! That’s so... humbling...”

“If anybody can do it, you can, Red.” Casey lightly punched her arm affectionately.

“Agreed.” an unexpected voice chimed in their hidden headpieces, and they were reminded that others were listening in on their conversations at the moment. “Leo always did have very good judgement and, just as in his previous life, I am quite content to trust in his intuition.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet of you to say, Donnie.” April held the earpiece and smiled fondly, then sighed. “But... really, it should be you three, his brothers... You should be the ones to teach him...”

“An’ we will.” Raph chimed in with a grunt, obviously on the move somewhere. “But he still needs someone to call Sensei. That sorta crap is important to Leo. Always has been. You’re best for that.”

“The fact that you’re my wife aside, you’re still an important member of the Hamato clan, just as much as we are. Not to mention that you are an extremely skilled ninja who, by this point, probably rivals Master Splinter in his prime, April. There is nobody else I’d rather entrust my brother’s education to.” Donnie added. There was the sound of people milling about off in the distance over the speaker as well, which explained his low, quiet way of speaking at the moment. "We will be there to help you, of course. Nobody knows Leo like we do, after all."

“You’re steering the Leo-mobile, but expect a lot of backseat driving on this, April.” Mikey agreed cheerfully.

“Guys, you’re going to make me cry again.” April voice cracked a little as she covered her mouth, grinning through tears. “Stop that! I’m supposed to be a badass ninja sensei now!”

“Oh, by the way, Donnie, I just wanted to say congrats.” Casey chimed in.

There was a moment of silence, and then Donnie sounded hesitant. “Uh... for just what in particular, might I ask?”

Casey threw a wide, mischievous grin at April. “Well, obviously you’re a dad now! After this, I’m going to go buy you cigars to celebrate!”

“What?!” Donnie’s startled, squeaky voice echoed a little as if he was inside some enclosed space, and he quickly swore softly to himself as he obviously scrambled around for a better hiding spot, then, once safe again, he hissed fiercely but much more quietly into the speaker, “What are you talking about, Casey?!”

“Oh, come on, Dee! You know as well as I do that to Leo, ‘Sensei’ means ‘Parental Figure’. April is basically Leo’s mom now! And she’s your wife, so that makes you Leo’s dad!” Casey playfully explained, not at all bothered by the fact that his ninja friend apparently almost blew his cover.

“Whoa, dudes.” Mikey sounded completely boggled by the idea. “Pha _shew_! Mind... blown...”

“Ugh. Casey... no. Just no.” Donnie’s facepalm could almost visibly be seen through his voice. “That’s... that’s not how this works."

“Huh. That’s going to make for some messed up looking family tree.” Casey observed. “Leo’s dad is also his brother.”

“I’m not Leo’s dad, Casey!” Donnie hissed.

Mikey had another thought. “Wait, does that mean I’m my big little brother's uncle now?”

“Guys, shut up." Raph apparently was completely ignoring the conversation, his voice serious. "Leo just went underground into th’ Subway station at Laird and 42nd street. Donnie, you ready?”

“I’m in position.” Donnie replied quietly, suddenly all business again “It’s just like we predicted. I’m hidden close to the loading platform now, and will track the train he boards. Be ready for my signal, Mikey.”

“Of course, dude! Just let me know where he gets off, and I’ll be there in a flash.” Mikey sounded confident. He was the fastest of all the turtles by far, so he was stationed in a central location, where he should, theoretically, be able to arrive at Leo’s exit in time to find him before he wandered off too far.

April was quiet now, only half listening to them.

She... she was Leo’s sensei.

Then she swallowed hard, and looked back up, her eyes shining with a new light. She lightly touched her earpiece. “Guys, let’s do this. We are going to find out where Leo is going. And we are going to make sure that he’s okay.” Her voice was calm but steely, filled with all the resolution and determination of a mother bear trying to find her cub.

Leo wanted her to be his sensei, and she would be the best damn sensei she could be.

* * *

Well... this was unexpected.

I had been curious when only my Red Shadow had escorted me over to my subway stop. And I had been anticipating the fact that he couldn’t follow me down there, and thus expected it when he waited above ground while I walked down the steps.

But I had been surprised and then perplexed to sense my Purple Shadow waiting for me down there. What... what was he doing down here?

And then, to my utter astonishment, once I boarded my train, he moved to hitch a ride on top of the moving train itself. I tried not to look too panicked as I looked around, wondering if I should be doing something. Nobody around me seemed to notice something was different, the people crowding around me sat and milled about through the lurches as if nothing was different, like there wasn’t a brilliant purple aura riding the train above us.

We reached my stop, and as the doors slid open, I hesitantly stepped out into the station. The crowd of people flowed about me, some people boarding, and some people getting off. Then, with a squeal of metal, the train took off once more down the tunnel, disappearing quickly into the darkness with my Purple Shadow still on top.

I... I really wasn’t sure if I should be concerned about that or not.

I slowly made my way up the steps to the open air above, chewing my lip and wondering if I should be trying to rescue my Purple Shadow or not.

And there, up on the surface, despite the grey cloudy sky and cold drizzle, was the aura of my Orange Shadow on top of a nearby rooftop, waiting for me up there.

How had he...?

* * *

“Man, I was only a few blocks away!” Mikey sounded excited over the headset. “Did I pick out the exit to wait by or what? I rock! And... oh wait! I see him! The target has been located! I repeat! Smol Leo has been located!”

“Follow him.” Raph grunted as he leapt across the rooftops. “I’ll be there in fifteen, and Don will join us as soon as he gets off at the maintenance tunnel.”

“He’s just standing there right now.” Mikey commented. “I think he’s... oh wait. Now he’s moving. He’s walking down the street... More walking. He’s turning left on Johnson Avenue. Okay, and we’re walking again. And walking. And more walking. And now he’s... he’s... um... he’s walking into a pet store.”

“A... pet store?” Casey was confused.

“Yup. ‘Wiltson’s Pet Emporium.’” Mikey read off.

“Huh.”

Well, that wasn’t quite what they expected.

* * *

“I’m here!” I hesitantly called out, the bell on the wooden and glass door jingling as I stepped through the entryway. “Miss Mai?”

“Ah, there’s my little man!” a middle aged Asian woman looked up from behind the counter. She was a slender, graceful woman who looked to be in her forties despite all the piercings lining up and down both ears. Her black hair was tied back into a ponytail with streaks of purple and blue. “Hey, Leo! How was school today?”

“Great, actually!” I smiled at her sincerely, setting my bag aside as I pulled my work apron out from under the counter. “I found myself a new tutor, and she’s really nice!”

Miss Mai laughed and looked at me with an eyebrow raised. “‘ _She_ ’, huh? She cute?”

“She is old enough to be my mother, thank you very much.” I answered dryly.

“Ah, so no shipping. Got it.” Mai grinned at me, stepping out from behind the register and picked up a clipboard. “Shipment’s pretty light today, so we be focusing on cleaning and socialization this afternoon. Up for it?”

“Of course!” I nodded, tying up my apron, which looked far too large for my small frame. “Anything you need me to do!”

I meant it, too. It had been hard enough to find a job that paid decently, and I was pretty sure that I only got this one because Miss Mai thought that I was a normal kid from a poor family. I was surprised that she didn’t ask more questions, but she had only said that she had a feeling about me, and that was good enough for her. I wasn’t going to push things.

As I pulled out the broom and began sweeping, I paid attention to my Orange Shadow waiting outside. Was he going to be okay out there? It was still sort of drizzling out, but that was letting up, and should hopefully stop soon.

And then my Red and Purple Shadows joined him in his vigil out there, and I realized suddenly what was going on.

My Shadows learned from yesterday, and had worked together to figure out a way to keep following me! I felt my chest fill with pride at the thought, and I glanced out at the window where I could sense them across the street. Oh, my clever, clever Shadows!

But now they were starting to move about the building, and I could tell they were a little agitated by how long I had been in here. How could I reassure them that I was okay?

I looked around, and spotted Miss Mai had just finished emptying out a garbage can and was tying off the large black plastic.

“I’ll take that out to the dumpster for you!” I blurted out, leaning the broom against the wall and hurrying over.

“Oh, thanks Little Man, but this one might be a bit too big for you.” Miss Mai threw me an amused but appreciative look.

“No, it’s fine! I got it!” I took the bag from her, having to use both arms to hold it.

“Uh... are you sure?” she looked at me doubtfully.

I nodded enthusiastically, and began toting the giant plastic bag out the back door towards the dumpster in the alley.

* * *

“There! There he is!” Mikey pointed out from his look out perch on Raph’s shell, and they all watched as their brother-turned-human-child lugged out a garbage bag almost as big as himself, stubbornly wrestling it over to the green dumpster, then standing on his tiptoes to shove it up and over into the garbage bin. He dusted off his red apron, which he hadn’t been wearing before, looked around in satisfaction, then, after a moment, went back inside.

“I think he works there.” Mikey observed.

“He has a job, it seems. It’d explain why he would leave so punctually every day.” Donnie agreed absently, sitting down on the rooftop and furiously tapping at his tablet monitor.

“He's pretty young to be holding down a job. Is it possible that he’s related to the owner?” Raph wondered. “Is that his family?”

“The owner is one Mai Park.” Donnie stated, reading off his tablet display. “She purchased the business after the former owner, a Mabel Wiltson, retired, and has been running it for fifteen years now. She is not married, has no children, but does have five brothers. The offspring of those seem to run mostly nieces, and the two nephews she does have are eighteen and six respectively.”

“So... not Leo Family?” Mikey sounded disappointed, sliding off of Raph’s shell.

Raph peered at the screen, wrinkling his nose. “Wait, you pulled up all that on her already?”

Donnie shrugged, using his finger to scroll through a page on the display. “She’s also, according to her social media, a vegetarian, though not a vegan, as she likes cheese too much, enjoys rock climbing, plays on a local softball team called the ‘Jaguars’, enjoys knitting, and identifies as a Wiccan.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Oh!” Donnie apparently found an interesting fact and paused on the screen. “And apparently her favorite animal are turtles, so she does have that going for her.”

“Dude. That’s freaky.” Mikey finally commented.

* * *

I sighed in relief. My Shadows seemed to have calmed down, which was good. I had a lot of work to do, and I didn’t want to let Miss Mai down!

“Hey, Leo. There's somebody who's waiting to see you.” Miss Mai beckoned me, and I carefully set my dusting rag aside and followed after her, grinning.

I still remembered two weeks ago when Miss Mai, with dark circles under her eyes but the kind, patient smirk still on her face, had told me that she wanted to introduce me to her newest addition.

_She led me back to a small cardboard box set up on the floor with a heated blanket, and bade me to sit down, which I did, sitting neatly in a seiza position. To my surprise, she pulled out what looked like a tiny ball of black fur, and carefully deposited it in my hands._

_It was a young kitten. A very, very young kitten, from the looks of it, probably only a few days old. It resembled a misshapen furry beanbag toy more then anything, with little paws that seemed too small for its plump, round body, little tiny whiskers, ears that folded tight against the dandelion poof of fur on its head, and eyes still tightly sealed shut._

_It squeaked and mewled softly, nosing against my palm with a tiny little dot of a nose, and I stiffened in surprise, terrified to move too much less I hurt the thing._

_“Isn’t he cute?” Mai squealed softly, giving the little warm body a few fond pets, before turning to pick up a tiny little bottle and pouring some white mixture into it. “I could use your help here, though. Little guy needs to eat every two hours right now, and man, could I use a break!”_

_I had noticed that her eyes looked like they had dark circles under them, but hadn’t asked. “You’ve been up every two hours feeding him? How did you sleep?”_

_“Not well.” she said dryly, shaking the mixture and then testing the warmth of it. “But somebody’s gotta take care of the little guy.”_

_“What about his mother?” I frowned._

_“She was a pregnant stray that was brought into the shelter. He was her only kitten, but even he seemed to be too much for her, and she rejected him. So I volunteered to take care of the little guy instead.”_

_I felt my throat and chest tighten, and I drew myself in a little tighter, looking down at the kitten with a lump in my throat._

_Mai finished setting up the bottle and moved over to plop cross legged on the floor across from me, holding it out. “Want to try your hand at feeding him?”_

_Numbly, I looked up at her and nodded._

_She showed my how to position him on his stomach and carefully use the tiny bottle to feed him. I watched, mesmerized._

_“Why don’t you name him, Leo?” Mai asked me suddenly, and I looked up to blink at her in surprise. “Well, he needs a name, after all!”_

_I swallowed, and looked down at the baby kitten. I didn’t feel very creative with names. A momentary flash of my Orange Shadow crossed my mind for a moment, though I wasn’t sure what the connection was. Was he good with kittens? Or naming things? I couldn’t remember!_

_But it wasn’t like I could go out there and ask him, and this kitten needed a name. What was the name of a little creature who's own mother didn't want him?_

_“Fearless.” I suddenly blurted out, though I couldn’t begin to explain why that nickname suddenly popped to mind._

_Mai looked startled, then thoughtful, and nodded. “Fearless, huh? Not a conventional name, but it just might fit.” She gently picked the kitten up and looked at him critically. “Hm... Yup. Good eye, Leo. I can tell already, he’s going to be a brave and strong one when grows up. Fearless is the perfect name for him!”_

_She gently put the kitten back in my lap, and stroked his head fondly with one finger. “You hear that, little Fearless? You may not realize it yet, but you’re a little lion in disguise!”_

_“You... you think so?” I asked, looking down at the little kitten, who gave a milky yawn, a few awkward head bobbles, then seemed to sigh contentedly, snuggling into my small hands._

_She gave me a fond wink. “I’d bet my life on it.” She stood up and dusted herself off. “Well, I need to go clean out the hamster cages. Keep an eye on him, and in two hours we’ll feed him again.”_

_“Okay.” I nodded, and, taking a deep, shaky breath, I looked down at the helpless, sleepy little kitten that I held in my hands. I slowly, carefully cradled him close to my chest and, swallowing hard in an attempt to get the lump out of my throat, I tried to gently wrap my body protectively around him, to make him feel loved and wanted._

Now, at two weeks, Fearless's eyes were opened, as blue as my own, though Miss Mai said that all kittens had blue eyes. He tottered around his box on unsteady legs, a perpetual action of lunging forward and catching his balance in surprise. When he saw me, his little furry cone of a tail perked up almost like a signal flag, and he teetered over towards me, his little pink mouth opening to let out the cutest squeaks and mews.

"Hey little guy!" I grinned, reaching in and picking him up. "I missed you too! Are you hungry? Wait, what am I saying? You're always hungry!"

He meowed loudly and desperately in my face in complete agreement.

I laughed and cradled him in my arm. "Let's get you taken care of then."

It felt so good to be needed by somebody, anybody. Even if it was just a little orphaned kitten.

* * *

The night went on, and I shifted between helping Miss Mai, constantly going back to check on Fearless, keeping a distant eye on my Shadows' auras, and just trying to comprehend and keep a lid on all the emotions that wanted to well up at once.

It was exhausting, and yet I felt excited and worried at the same time. So many things were happening at once, I felt like I was barely able to keep my head above the emotional waters here.

When my shift ended, I gave Fearless one last feeding, waved goodbye to Miss Mai, and shouldered my bag more squarely on my back. It was only as I started walking down the sidewalk, and felt my Shadows move up on the rooftops after me, that I realized that I had a problem.

While I was perfectly fine with letting my Shadows see where I worked, I most definitely did not want them to see where I lived! If they saw that, they would think I wasn’t able to take care of myself, much less them!

I slowly began walking down the street, chewing the inside of my cheek as I thought. My Shadows followed.

Well, I knew now that they would meet me back at the park if I lost them. Also, they figured out how to bypass the subway system, so I was fairly certain that they were determined to follow me whenever they could.

I had spent most of my life learning how to give people the slip, and it was something that I was unusually good at, as if I had practiced it in another life. While I wasn’t thrilled at the thought of trying to avoid the Shadows I had spent my whole life trying to find, I was even less keen on the idea of them seeing Mrs Freda’s boarding house.

I glanced up at the rooftop. Maybe I could think of this as training for them. Just how far could I push their skills?

* * *

Against the night sky, three forms sat silently on rooftop of an old brick apartment building, staring over the city before them. Their eyes were pupil-less and white, dangerous and predatory. The normally brightly colored tails of the bandanas they wore around their faces were muted by the shadows of the night and blowing in the breeze, the only movement from these gargoyle-like statues.

These three were ninjas. Warriors. Silent, still, and deadly.

Finally, the biggest one spoke up.

“How the FUCK did we lose him _AGAIN_?!”

* * *

 Convinced that my secret was still safe, I trotted up to the dilapidated, run down boarding house and pushed open the door, slipping inside. I ignored the drunken laughed and sounds of somebody vomiting coming from the dining room, and instead went straight for the old staircase, meaning to go straight to my room as always.  
  
“Hey! Hey! It’s the runt! Heya runt! Come o’er here!” a voice slurred out, and I glanced over to see Mr. Owen sitting on a chair with Miss Kay seated on his lap, both of them heavily intoxicated.  
  
“Good evening.” I politely nodded towards them, taking another step up the stairs. “And good night, I suppose. It’s too late for me to stay.”  
  
“Aw, naw, don’t... don’t be like that, runt! Yer makin’ yer own rules, ain’t cha? Kids like you should be thrilled to stay up with the adults. Yer one of us! Oh! I know! You should have a driiiiink wit’ us! Have one on me!”  
  
“I’m afraid I must decline.”  
  
“No, it’s cool, it’s cool! You’ll like it!” Mr. Owen drunkenly lurched forward, digging around to grab a glass bottle out of the cooler next to him and blearily peering at the label. “Lookit! It’s even fruity! Kids like fruity crap, right?”  
  
“Dale, leave him alone.” Mr. Acosta said seriously, the unshaven, overweight man sitting in a chair with a bottle of his own.  
  
“Shut up, man!” Mr Owen loudly whispered as he tried waving him off drunkenly, and chuckled loudly as he looked down at the bottled beverage in his hand. “It’ll be... it’ll be funny!”  
  
“What is wrong with you? He’s just a kid!” Mr Acosta did not sound amused at all as he stood up and snatched the drink out of the balding man’s hand, throwing it back in the cooler. “Back off!”  
  
“Geez, Dan!” Miss Kay took another less-then-delicate swig from her own bottle. “What crawled up your ass and died? Dale was just trying to have a bit of fun!”  
  
“Hey! Pipsqueak. There ya are.” an old woman with an eye patch and old wrinkly clothes stepped through the kitchen doorway when she noticed me. “It’s the end of the month.”  
  
“Mrs. Freda.” I paused, my escape up the stairs delayed once again, and nodded politely at her, then lowered my bag, digging into the hidden pouch I had added, and digging out a wad of bills, which I handed to her.  
  
“Good kid.” she began flipping through the bills, counting them. “That’s what I like about ya. Ya never cause trouble. Just to let ya know, though, the utilities and taxes have gone up again, and I’m gonna hafta raise the rent on everybody to make the cut.” she squinted her one good murky brown eye at me, as if daring me to challenge her. “Starting next month, it’s going to be up thirty bucks.”  
  
I paused, then took a foot off the step I had about to climb, turning towards her. “That’s kind of short notice, isn’t it?”  
  
She shrugged, pocketed the money, and fished out a cigarette, lighting it. “It is what it is.” She took a deep draw, then blew out a puff of smoke, watching me. “Ya gotta problem with it, squirt?”  
  
I frowned. “It... will make things a little tight. Might I negotiate terms? I can do some repair work around the house in exchange for some leniency.” Heavens knew the house needed it. Depending on how much work she demanded of me, my school work might suffer a little, and I might not have as much time to go visit with April and Casey, but with winter coming, I really didn’t want to try my hand at living out on the street.  
  
Mrs. Freda laughed and coughed at the same time. “Oh, yeah, that’s what I need. Some snot nosed brat runnin’ around playing plumber.” She took another drag and shook her head. “No, already have a couple of the guys ownin’ me favors. You just make sure you get me the money, or Santa will be visiting your scrawny ass out in the streets, ya hear.”  
  
“Oh, that’s really cold, Agatha.” Mr. Acosta winced. “He’s just a kid!”  
  
“So you keep saying.” she rolled her eye and walked away. “This ain’t a charity house, though. The runt knew what he was getting in for when he arrived.” She turned to look at me standing on the stairs. “Right?”  
  
She wouldn’t hesitate to throw me out. I had no doubt about that. And I didn’t have many options, as I legally wasn’t even supposed to be here. I had no renters agreement or contract I could turn to. If I tried to go to any authority for help, I would quickly find myself hustled into the foster care system instead, where I would lose my Shadows, as well as April and Casey.  
  
“Yes ma’am.” I said quietly, and tried not to clench my fist as I turned and walked up the stairs.  
  
Once in my bedroom, I snarled to myself as I tossed my bag on my bed, but quickly took a deep breath and tried to calm myself.  
  
It would be fine. I would be okay. I could probably work out the extra expense in my budget. Things were already extremely tight, and I was going to have to be extra frugal going forward. It really helped that April and Casey were giving me lunch, but how long could that go on for? April had agreed to be my sensei, and but that didn’t mean I was free to shove all of my burdens on her shoulders. I wasn’t really their responsibility, after all, and it was more then enough that they agreed to teach me for free.  
  
No, this was my mess and my responsibility. I just... needed to be better. Be stronger. Somehow.  
  
I strode to the middle of my room, exhaled, and then slowly, deliberately, began moving my body through katas.  
  
I needed to calm myself, to clear my mind, and practicing katas always helped.  
  
There was the sound of heavy footsteps in the hallway, the wooden boards creaking and complaining under the intrusion. I recognized the footsteps as Mr Acosta. But, instead of walking by towards his room, like I expected, there was a pause, and then a light knock on my door.  
  
I paused, surprised. This was a first. Nobody ever really bothered me in here.  
  
Cautiously, I opened the door, and looked inquiringly up at the large, overweight man who reeked of years of booze.  
  
“Uh, hey kid. I just... just wanted to apologize for what happened down there.” he mumbled awkwardly, shifting his weight and rubbing the back of his untrimmed hair.  
  
I tilted my head, confused. “You didn’t have anything to do with any of that.” I pointed out the obvious. “You don’t have anything to apologize to me for.”  
  
“Yeah. I supposed.” He frowned and looked back down the hallway. “Still don’t make it right.” He paused for a moment, then turned back to me. “Listen. Leo, wasn’t it? I’m probably the last guy in the world qualified to give out life advice but... you’re a good kid. You... you shouldn’t be in a dump like this.”  
  
I watched him warily. “Thanks, but I’m okay.”  
  
“I know this isn’t any of my business, and I ain’t going to tell you what to do or anything like that.” he shrugged, then sighed. “But... I wouldn’t feel right without saying a few things first, okay? Just... hear me out.”  
  
I paused, then nodded.  
  
“Gods, I’m bad at this.” he muttered to himself as he rubbed the back of his neck, not really looking down at me. “Just... I don’t know what you’re looking for out here kid, but... but you deserve better then this. A good kid like you don’t belong here with people like us, but if you keep sticking around, then you’ll grow up into the kind of man that does belong, and... and that would be a damn shame.”  
  
“I don’t plan on sticking around here forever.” I frowned.  
  
He lowered his hand and looked at me sadly. “Nobody ever does.” he said quietly. “Yet here we are.”  
  
I paused, then swallowed hard.  
  
“Listen kid.” he said gently. “I don’t know your life story, but I realize that your options in life probably suck. That’s probably what got you in a place like this in the first place. But the sad truth is is that life ain’t like they show it in the movies. In reality, life sucks. Sometimes... sometimes you need to stop dreaming about fantasies that aren’t real, and just wake up and deal with the real world. Y’know?”  
  
He paused to look at me, but when I didn’t respond in any manner, he continued. “For most of us here, we don’t have a choice any more. It’s too late for us, and this is our reality. But... but you’re just a kid, and you have more options then most of us do. I know that it’s probably not the life that you want, but there are people out there that can help you, and even if it’s not the best life that a kid can get, it’s still better then growing up here.”  
  
I was quiet for a long moment, then I nodded at him.  
  
He winced, then sighed. “Just... just thought I’d say my piece. Like I said, I’m not one who really should be talking about making good life choices. ‘Night kid.” He turned and started walking slowly down the hallway towards his room.  
  
“Mr. Acosta?” I called out quietly, and he stopped, not turning around. It was if making contact with my blue eyes bothered him. I watched him seriously. I felt like I was older then I really was at the moment. “I don’t think you belong here either.”  
  
He staggered slightly as if somebody had struck him, and turned to look at me, swallowing hard. “Thanks kid.” he finally mumbled, and I nodded and closed my door, alone in my room once more.  
  
I was quiet for a long, long moment.  
  
Then my eyes fell on my backpack, which I had tossed onto my bed earlier. It had flopped open, and several of my possessions had fallen out onto the thin blankets. Including a plastic ziplock bag filled with homemade cookies that April had given me earlier today.  
  
I sat down on the bed and picked up the bag, then curled up and wrapped my arms tightly around my knees, trying to keep my emotions in check while I slowly, carefully started eating the snickerdoodle cookies.

They were delicious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we maybe learn just little hint about Leo's past in his conversation with Mai? Next chapter is when Leo's balancing act starts coming undone, and once he falls, it's going to be fast and hard. Then it'll just be a matter of if his brothers can catch him in time or not.
> 
> Oh, and for those that have read my past story, yes, this is the same Mai from 'The Job of Big Brother' story.


	6. When The Cold Wind Blows

I blew on my bare hands to warm them up as I walked up to the park.

Even though November was just starting, a cold snap had settled in overnight, frosting the edges of the dead leaves littering the ground. I had _not_ been impressed to wake up to the fact that I could see my breath every time I exhaled. Mrs. Freda had left a brief note on my door saying that the heating system was broken, and would be fixed as soon as the parts came in. I internally wondered what sort of truck those parts would be coming in on, and just how legally obtained they were going to be.

Unfortunately, though, from what I gathered, this unusually cold 'arctic blast', as the news people were fond of calling it, was settling in for an extended stay. Winter, it seemed, was coming fast and early this year.

Sometimes, I'd overhear conversations of parents complaining about their children outgrowing their clothes almost faster then they could buy them. And, sadly, I could whole heartedly sympathize. Even shopping at second hand stores was hard on my very meager budget, and already it seemed like my jeans were getting a little short and my sleeves were getting a little small. I couldn't imagine how I was going to deal with it when I went through actual growth spurts. I couldn't afford warm enough clothing as it was now!

Hm. Maybe I should look into getting a paper route or something in addition to my job at the pet store. That should be something that a ten year old could reasonably pull off, though getting through some of the expected paperwork to sign up for it might be tricky. That would cover the increase in rent and allow me to get much needed winter clothing and gear, which was bound to be expensive, even factoring in shopping at thrift stores.

I hugged my jacket even closer, a poor excuse to hold off the cold winds, then perked up as I drew closer to the park, and felt the auras of my Shadows waiting for me. Even though they still stayed just out my reach, I felt my heart warm and my spirits rise at even this hint at their existence. Oh! And there were Casey and April waiting for me by the park entrance! They were both bundled up against the cold as they stood next to a rather strange looking van. It was tan and green, decorated with spray paint and... was it armored? It looked armored. Couch shopping must _really_ be dangerous.

Tamping all my doubts and worries down where they wouldn't show, I eagerly moved over towards them. April was clutching a thick bundle and quickly moved over to meet me halfway. Before I knew what was happening, she had thrown a poofy emerald green winter coat on me, quickly zipping it up, then she pulled a soft and warm blue hat down over my black hair then wrapped a thick blue scarf around my neck.

She was kneeling before me, in the process of trying to slip matching gloves on my hands when my brain finally caught up. "Uh..."

"It is freezing out, Leo! You needed a warmer coat!" she huffed, frustrated because my small fingers seemed to want to slip into the wrong finger slots of the gloves.

"What? Where did you even... I'm fine, Sensei! You didn't need to..." I blinked, pulling my hand back and automatically moving to adjust the gloves myself even as I protested. Wow. I hadn't even realized just how threadbare my fall jacket had been until now. This... this was so much more comfortable and warm! I swallowed hard. "I can't... pay you..."

"Of course I don't expect you to, Leo." April grabbed my shoulders and narrowed her eyes at me firmly. "I'm your sensei, and in my clan, that means much more then just the instructor that you greet when you walk into a martial arts class. By agreeing to take you on as my pupil, I was agreeing to take responsibility for you and your well being." She went back to fussing over me, checking the fit . "And that means not letting you freeze to death!"

"I..." I stared at her, wide eyed. Then I swallowed hard. "Th... thank." I looked down at the warm blue gloves covering my hands, then up at her, before giving a respectful bow. "Thank you."

April gave me the most beautiful smile, fond and kind, and ran her hand across my cheek, seemingly entranced by my eyes. Then she cleared her throat and gestured towards Casey and the strange vehicle. "Anyways, it's really too cold out to stay at the park all day. My aunt owned an antique store, but since she moved over to California, it's been sitting empty. It'll take a bit of cleaning, but we can use the apartment above it as a dojo, if you'd like."

I perked up. A dojo? And indoor heat?! But...

"Is... is it far?" I wondered, indiscreetly glancing at my where my Shadows waited hidden on the rooftops across the street. Would they be able to find it?

April smiled at me. "It's not terribly far, maybe twenty minutes or so?"

I chewed my lip, then hesitantly nodded. My Shadows were fast and clever, and this van was pretty easy to notice. They should hopefully be able to follow me? For having finally found my Shadows, I seemed to be losing them a lot.

* * *

So it turned out that I didn't have to worry. My Shadows seemed to know exactly where we were going, and almost seemed to arrive at this 'Second Time Around' building before I did. And, oddly enough, they didn't get ansty and agitated when I went in and left their line of sight, like they had for every other building I had gone into. They must like and trust April and Casey.

Oh, I hoped so! If they ever let me find them, I wanted so badly to meet one another! My Shadows were the most important, precious things in the world to me, but April and Casey were dear to me as well, even in the short few days I had known them.

When we entered the building, I had the strangest feeling of deja vu, a feeling that, by now in my life, I was oddly resigned to. Everything was vaguely familiar, though I couldn't remember why. It was mostly a warm, comfortable feeling, filled with fondness and a feeling of friendship, though one window in the apartment upstairs in particular, the one facing the street in the living room, sent a shiver down my spine and a phantom sensation of shattering glass and pain.

But the feeling quickly passed, and I instead grew distracted by the makeshift dojo and training room that was obviously in progress. April and Casey had done this? How? Some of the exercise equipment must have weighed a ton! There's no way they could've carried all this up here alone! There were also motivational posters plastered all over the walls everywhere, usually featuring cute, furry animals, but a few with comic book heroes or cartoon heroes from old shows like Crognard the Barbarian or some Japanese anime with mechas.

The dojo itself was several mats spread neatly across the floor, with several very fascinating weapons and blades mounted on the wall. Off in the corner, somebody had set up an area specifically for meditation, with incense burners and candles and everything.

It felt like a home.

It was perfect.

* * *

Over the next week, things were almost surreal. Instead of meeting at the park, I now went over to April's house, where we would meditate, train, and work on my homework. Then, in the afternoon, I would bid April and Casey farewell, and my Shadows would follow as I would head over to my job at the pet store, where I spent the day helping Miss Mai and playing with Fearless.

Finally, when I got off at eight, things would get the most interesting. My Shadows were bound and determined to follow me home, and I was bound and determined that they would not. I had to admit, they were persistent and creative! They tried all sorts of tactics like stealth, trying to predict where I was going and heading me off, watching from afar, shadowing from close behind, staying clustered together, spreading out, and even splitting up entirely. Once I could swear that there was a remote control car with a camera on top following me.

But eventually the fun would end, and once again I would be pulled back to reality, to the boarding house with its cold drafts and broken inhabitants, alone, where I spent the night worrying and wondering and dreaming.

This new routine I found myself in was by no means unpleasant, but it still felt like some sort of idealized limbo. My Shadows still hung back, just out of my reach, where I couldn't reach them. I still didn't know how to change their minds, and while I tried to remain patient, I was starting to feel a little desperate and despondent. I found myself in a warm home, with adults who took care of me and took an interest in my well being, almost like a normal child, but this too was just an illusion. All it would take was one slip up, one mistake on my part, and I would lose it all. If my secrets came out, I'd probably end up dragged off to some random foster home on the other side of the country.

I didn't know what to do about any of this. I didn't know how to change things so that I could keep being April's pupil and Casey's friend. I didn't know how to convince my Shadows to finally let me find and take care of them. And that was unacceptable. I was supposed to be strong. I was supposed to be able to fix anything.

But all I could do for now was just try to pretend that everything was fine.

I had April, I had Casey, and my Shadows were close, if not by my side.

Everything was fine.

* * *

"Hey Leo. What did you want for lunch?" Casey peeked in through the doorframe.

April had an appointment or something today, and had to leave shortly after the morning training lessons, leaving just Casey and I at the apartment-turned-dojo.

I perked up instantly at the question. "Pizza!"

"Oh, no." Casey shook his head, looking mock stern. "April said that we can't be feeding you pizza all the time. She said you need something with vegetables and that sorta healthy crap as well."

"But I like veggie pizza." I pointed out. "That has vegetables on it."

"Huh." Casey pondered this for a moment, then nodded, disappearing back into the kitchen area. "Argument well made, little dude. Pizza it is."

I grinned happily, listening to him call up a local pizza place for delivery, then returned back to my homework. I felt just my Purple Shadow's aura down below me, my other two Shadows having left earlier, assumably to enact some plan for our 'game' later tonight. My Shadows seemed to spend most of their time now down in the empty shop downstairs, which surprised me at first. I didn't think they liked going inside any building. But, after some thought, I was glad. It was still really cold outside, and I felt much better knowing that they were inside and warm.

This really was a strange situation I was finding myself in. April and Casey seemed to be going out of their way to make sure at least one of them was around. I wasn't used to all this adult supervision! It was almost like they thought I needed a babysitter or something. I scoffed at the thought. They didn't need to coddle me, I was mature enough to make adult decisions. I was more then capable of taking care of myself, thank you very much!

I tapped my pencil rhythmically against the table as I stared at my textbook.

Casey stepped out of the kitchen, hanging up his call on his cell phone.

"Casey?" I turned to look at him pleadingly. "Can you help me with my homework? I keep confusing nucleus and nucleolus."

Casey froze, resembling a deer in headlights. "You want me to help you with biology?"

I frowned. "If... if you don't mind? I thought you studied that field?"

Casey crept over and peered at my book like it might leap up and attack him. "What? What on earth would give you an idea like that?! Casey Jones: Biologist? Bah!" He scoffed at the very idea of it. "The only biology Casey Jones is interested in is how faces react to fists! And hockey sticks! And baseball bats!"

"But... April said she studied it alongside you." I blinked at him, confused.

He blinked back at me, even more confused. "She did? When?"

"When we first met in the park." I looked down at my book. "And then she sent you off to get pizza."

Casey looked at me blankly, then pondered this for a moment, before a light bulb went off. "Oh! Wait! I remember! She said she studied it alongside her _husband_! Yeah, that makes more sense." He paused for a moment, then looked at me sharply. "Wait, you don't think Red and I are..."

I blinked at him.

"Oh, no no no." he waved his hands. "Nah, we ain't married or nothing! She's like my sister! Her husband and I are bros!"

I was surprised by this revelation. "Really? Who is he, then?" And why hadn't I met him yet?

"Ah." Casey rubbed the back of his head, looking like this might be a more complicated question then one would assume. "His name is Don. He's... a scientist? And he's usually involved in some crazy project or another. He's pretty busy."

Don...

I swallowed hard, feeling my chest tighten at that. Why did that name mean so much? Why did it sound... purple? "Oh, well, I hope I can meet him someday." I finally said, turning back to my homework. "Anyways, that's okay. I'll figure this out."

"K..." Casey bit his lip, then scratched the back of his head. "Ah, gonna go... use the... ladies room for a second. Be right back."

I gave him an odd look, but nodded.

* * *

Once in the kitchen and out of Leo's earshot, Casey grabbed his earpiece. "Donnie! What the hell do I do, man?! He needs help with biology! I flunked science!"

"You mean all science classes, don't you?" Donnie's voice sounded resigned. "Not specifically just Biology."

"Yup."

"Of course." Donnie sighed, then sounded determined. "Okay, we can work with this. You have your hidden camera and your earpiece. I can talk you through this. Just say what I tell you to say."

"Right." Casey nodded, straightening up. "Leo needs us, bro!"

* * *

Casey came back and casually took a seat next to me. "So, Leo. What was your homework question again? I might be able to help."

I glanced at him. "I'm trying to figure out the difference between nucleus and nucleolus."

"Oh, that's easy!" Casey paused for a long moment, and, strangely, his eyes glazed over and went blank, before he straightened up and plastered on a forced, knowing, terrified smile. "So, the Nucleus is a... a what?! Oh. Um, it's a membrane bound organ. Organelles, sorry. Which are found in all euka... euuuuukartic... um... eu-ka-ryotic cells?"

I raised an eyebrow at Casey. "Are... are you having a stroke or something? Do I need to call for help?"

"What?!" Casey looked startled, then laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head. "No! No, I'm fine. I just... I'm..." He paused for a moment, then suddenly smirked as if he just had an idea. "Okay, okay, I'll come clean. I suck at this. I suck at homework in general. But!" he held up a hand as if begging my patience, "I have a plan! Let's call April's husband! This will be super easy for him!"

"I... are you sure?" I blinked, a little taken aback.

"Of course!" Casey already had his phone out and was dialing. "He'll be glad to help." He held the phone up to his ear, and apparently this friend of his must have been waiting, because they seemed to have answered really quickly. "Hey, Dee! Need your help for a minute! You see, there's this friend of mine named Leo, and he has a few questions about his math homework." He paused, listening to somebody with a panicky, squeaky voice at the other end, and then smoothly replied, "No, no, it'll be cool! Don't worry, this is perfect!" He turned to me and handed me the still squeaking phone. "Here you go, Leo. This is Don. Ask him your questions."

I hesitantly took the phone and held it up to my ear.

"...worst idea you've ever had! This wasn't the plan!" the voice was ranting, and I felt my breath catch.

That voice!

"Uh... hi?" I hesitantly said into the phone.

The voice stopped it's tirade instantly, and for a second or two, one could hear a pin drop.

Then there was an equally hesitant reply on the other end. "Um. Hello." There was an almost audible swallow, then a whisper, "Hello, Leo..."

The aura of my purple Shadow downstairs seemed to shift around uncomfortably, obviously extremely flustered by something.

I swallowed hard.

"Mr... Don?" I questioned carefully. "I... I hope I'm not bothering you."

There was a moment of quiet, and then the voice spoke again, a little choked with emotion. "Oh, no. Not at all. I'm glad to help." There was a pause, and his voice broke just a little. "And... and Leo? Please... feel free to call me Donnie."

Donnie.

Donatello.

"Okay. Donnie." I nodded, and could swear I heard a sharp, shaky inhale on the other end. "If you don't mind then, I'm a little confused by some of the terms in my biology lesson today..."

* * *

Two hours later, when the battery in the phone began to die, Leo had thanked him for his help and finally, almost reluctantly, hung up the phone. Donnie sat there, looking at the phone in his three fingered hand, tears in his eyes.

He had talked to him.

He had actually talked to Leo!

Donnie pulled his knees up close, wrapping his arms around them and hugging them close. He buried his face in his kneepads, letting the sobs flow out. They were tears of just pure emotion, joy and sorrow and happiness and misery, all at once.

It had been the voice of a child, but it was still so very, very familiar...

He had never thought that he would ever talk with his big brother again.

* * *

I thought about that voice on the phone all day long.

Was that really my Purple Shadow I had heard? Or was that just my imagination dreaming things up?

If it really was him, then April and Casey knew my Shadows! April would be _married_ to one of my Shadows! That would really make her my family! Oh, that would be amazing if that were true! They would know how to convince my Shadows to let me find them, or, at the very least, they would know what I needed to do to finally belong to them. Should I ask them? But what if I asked them, and they had no idea what I was talking about? They would think I was crazy. They would see me for the confused, runaway kid that I obviously really was, and they wouldn't want me anymore. Why would April want a crazy person for a pupil?

My thoughts went round and round, spiking between hope and terror. I felt like I was teetering on the edge of a precipice and I was quickly losing my balance. I felt so hopeful that there would be three Shadows down there to catch me. But, more then likely, I would just end up falling and lose everything that I held dear instead.

It was dark out when I finally stopped at the front door of the tenant house and dug out my keys.

Then I paused and frowned. Huh.

Orange Shadow was nearby, watching me from one of the rooftops.

When did he get back on my trail?! I had been so distracted with the cold and my thoughts, that I hadn't even noticed him start following me again! My own failings, more then anything, annoyed me. I was never going to be able to protect my Shadows if I wasn't strong enough!

I sighed in defeat, and unlocked the door, stepping in. Well, now my Shadows would know that I lived in a seedy garbage heap of a building. No avoiding that now. At least they couldn't see what was going on inside, with the windows either all covered up with heavy curtains or boarded up because they were broken.

If the smell didn't give it away, the loud sound of raucous laughter and music from the dining room definitely clued me in that one or more of my fellow tenants were throwing a party of some sorts. There were several voices I didn't recognize, which meant that there were strangers in there.

Great. But of course.

I trod up to my room and closed and locked the door behind me, leaning against it for a moment. Then I gave a sigh and dragged a chair over to prop under the door jam. I really didn't trust strangers in the house. Then I moved about, dressing in both sets of pajamas that I owned, hoping that layers would help with the cold.

I could sense my Orange Shadow outside, curiously moving around and over the outside of the building as if examining every inch of it. He wouldn't try to sneak inside, would he? Was he trying to find me?

After a moment, I moved over to the single window on the far side of the room and moved the yellow, stained curtain aside so he could see in if he wanted. Then I made one final check to make sure my bedroom door was locked, before I turned off the light, and crawled into the old bed with the creak of old mattress springs.

That seemed to work. The orange aura eventually settled outside my window, giving me a warm sense of comfort to stave off the cold as I shivered a little under the covers. I peered through the darkness at the window, wondering if I would see anything, but there was nothing but the night air and the indirect light from the streetlight down the road.

Exhaustion lulled me to sleep sooner then I thought it would.

* * *

Sometime during the middle of the night, I was awakened by something. I lay awake in my bed, loathe to sit up and lose what little warmth I had collected in the thin blankets.

And then I went completely rigid as I realized what had drawn me out of slumber.

My normally empty room was filled with a pleasant, distinct orange aura, like warmth itself had become palpable and was trying to breath life into this cold, frozen room once more.

My Orange Shadow. He was _in_ the room with me!

I couldn't see or hear anything, but I definitely could sense his warm aura close by, filling the room around me like tangible sunshine. Was he finally going to let me find him?! Was I actually going to find one of my Shadows?!

Heart pounding, I sat up, ignoring the cold chill that washed over me, and looked around my dark room wildly.

Nothing. I couldn't see anybody in the shadows that filtered through the night air. I couldn't pinpoint his exact location. His aura filled the whole room! I could sense that my Orange Shadow was quite tense up, and as I moved about, it almost felt like he was holding his breath.

I swung my feet over the edge of the bed and slid down to walk across the ice cold floor to my window. It was closed, but the latch used to lock it was flipped unlocked.

I always kept it locked.

Swallowing hard, I scanned my dark room once more, not seeing anything or anybody. "Hello?" I quietly inquired. "Is anybody in here?"

Nothing.

Just the distant sounds of the city outside.

If... if I flipped on the light, would I see him?

Or would the room be empty?

I swallowed hard.

Then, wrapping my arms around myself for warmth, I made my way back across the room and crawled back into bed, rolling so I was facing the wall and my back was to the window, pulling my blankets up tight and trying to get warm again.

I could feel my Orange Shadow relax a little, but otherwise didn't move or reveal his presence any further.

He didn't want me to find him, and I would respect his wishes. I would close my eyes, and concentrate on the warm Orange around me. If I closed my eyes, it was real.

Cold and feeling a little heartsick, but still reveling in the warmth of my Orange Shadow's aura, I eventually drifted off back to a haze of almost sleep, just on the edge of consciousness.

Just before I lost all thoughts and sunk into the darkness of my dreams, I dimly felt movement by my bed, and then a heavy weight pulled over me.

And I felt warm.

* * *

Mikey silently closed the window behind him, climbed up the building to the roof, and exhaled. Wow, that had been a close one! How he had remained hidden from those searching blue eyes, he had no idea! Thank you Master Splinter for all those years of ninja training!

Then he grinned and couldn't help a giddy giggle to himself.

He had seen Leo! Not only that, but he had been so close to Leo he could smell him! It blew Mikey's mind how even reborn as a human child, he could still smell so very familiar. Oh, it was amazing and wonderful and it had taken every ounce of Mikey's will not to scoop him up and pull him into a fierce hug while jumping up and down for joy.

Every fiber of his being longed to go back into that room. He so very badly wanted to take Leo home with him, take him out of that cold, dingy room and back to the Lair to be his brother again.

Mikey sighed, and looked down at his three fingered hand. Because that's what just needed to happen. Giant turtle creatures crawling into children's bedrooms and kidnapping them. People would freak out and panic. _Leo_ would freak out and panic.

His brothers were right. Leo had a new life now, and a new family. As hard as it was, they needed to let him live it.

Although, looking at the house that Leo lived in, Mikey wasn't sure it was as an idyllic life as they had hoped for him. Most of the windows were covered, so at first he couldn't determine much about what was going on in there. A quick scope of the place at first had revealed a ton of cigarette butts and empty beer cans littering the area, though. And even from the outside, Mikey doubted the building was quite up to the fire code, and was in need of serious repair.

He really wished that Leo would share more about his family life with April and Casey. He had promised that he wasn't in an abusive situation, but this rundown slum house didn't exactly give off 'Wholesome Child Rearing Environment' vibes.

There really wasn't a whole lot of evidence of other children, which disappointed him. He had hoped that Leo would have at least one sibling, the ideal situation would, of course, involve three younger brothers. He was the best big brother ever, after all, and it would be a shame for that to go to waste. Then again, if Leo had had siblings in this new life, then he would be concentrating his efforts on taking care of them instead of spending most of his free time at a park doing homework.

So Leo was apparently an only child. An only child in a house that had what sounded like several intoxicated adults, Mikey noted with a frown. As much as he wished for his big brother to have a mother and a cookie-baking grandmother, if they existed, he hoped that they weren't in there. The mother that Leo deserved would have made sure that he had warm blankets, and tucked him into bed while telling him bedtime stories. How many times in his old life had Leo snuck into his room to tuck him in and make sure he was warm? Half of the time, Mikey hadn't even been aware that he had even been there, only waking up in the morning to find an extra blanket had been pulled up over him.

And when they were really little, Leo had read him bedtime stories out of an old ragged book of fairy tales from almost as soon as he had learned to read. Mikey had never bothered reading that old book himself, there were no pictures and Leo had always told him the stories, so why would he? Then one day, years later, he had picked up the book out of boredom and was shocked to find that several of the classical stories in the book were quite different from the ones that Leo had told him for so long. He hadn't known that the Beast turned into a human prince at the end of the story 'Beauty and the Beast', and the only thing that Princess and the Frog shared with Leo's story was that there was a princess and a frog in it. Leo had almost completely rewritten it, and instead of the frog turning back into a handsome human prince to get his Happily Ever After, he had become an amazing frog warrior that had saved the princess and the entire kingdom, becoming a famous hero who was beloved far and wide despite being a frog.

He pulled out his cellphone and sent off a quick message. He did not like this situation at all, and he was sure that something needed to be done about it. April and his brothers would know how to help Leo.

That done, he sighed wistfully, and moved across the street so he could see into the window again. He had been thrilled when Leo had unexpectedly moved his bedroom curtain to let him see in, almost as if knowing that he was out here. Sitting on top of an electrical pole, he watched the sleeping form and noted Leo didn't look like he was shivering anymore with that new thick blanket covering him. His bros were probably going to kill him for taking such a risk, but Mikey was certain that they would do the same thing if they had noticed. Leo had looked so cold.

 Mikey sat down on top of the pole and wrapped his arms around his knees, resting his chin on top of his kneepads. He just sat there, watching that one window in that ramshackle building, and the young black haired, blue eyed child sleeping now under a new Space Heroes themed blanket.

Then he began to quietly talk, even though he knew that there was no way he would be heard.

"Once upon a time, in a beautiful kingdom far away, there was a prince who was cursed to live as a frog. But he discovered that being a frog was actually really cool! He could jump super high now, and could swim really far and fast. One day, he heard that a beautiful princess was in danger, and decided to become a hero and save her..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a good thing that Mikey didn't try to sing him any Lullabies. The first verse of the classic yet disturbing 'Rock-a-Bye Baby' is probably a little too autobiographical for Leo right now.
> 
> So my original plan for this story was a basic set up, then one chapter dedicated to each of the brothers and how they deal with the situation. Somehow, these two got smushed together into one chapter, and I think that's why I'm a so unsure about the pacing of this chapter. It's an overdose of Brotherly Angst. But, spoilers, the angst is sadly not going to be fading away next chapter.


	7. And the Bough Breaks

Mikey was just finishing up the story of the Little Mermaid, where the human Prince had a beautiful castle built on the beach half in the ocean, so that he and his mermaid bride could live together happily ever after, when suddenly there were two more turtles sitting next to him, bandanas blowing in the night wind.

"You're sure that's this is where he lives, Mikey?" Donnie frowned, his eyes critically scanning the decrepit, run-down apartment building with boarded up windows.

Mikey nodded towards the one window with the curtain pulled back. "He's sleeping in there."

"Shit." Raph growled, glaring at the building's condition and occupants, then his gaze turned back towards the sleeping form just visible through the window, and his face softened. "Is he okay?"

"I think so. None of the adults seem to be bothering him." Mikey nodded, gnawing on his lower lip in worry. "He seems cold, though. I don't think the heat is working in that place."

"Let's get a reading on the place while we wait for April and Casey to get here." Donnie pulled out some militaristic-looking goggles, pulling them over his purple bandana, and scanned the building. After a moment, he frowned. "I can make out what looks like nine obviously intoxicated adult figures downstairs, plus two doing unspeakable acts in a side room, one large man who appears to be sleeping upstairs, and, of course, Leo there." His face grew unusually hard, and he actually swore under his breath as he lifted up the goggles a little to look at his brothers. "The heat readings on this building are appalling! From what I can tell, the whole building is currently only heated by several portable heaters, all located downstairs by the partying adults. Not only is that incredibly dangerous, foolish, and an obviously serious fire hazard, but Leo's room itself only reads at forty eight degrees. He could get hypothermia in temperatures like that!"

Raph paused, then shifted in place, his jaw tight and looking much more tense as he looked towards the window of their brother's room once more.

"Dudes! What if he gets sick?!" Mikey shivered himself as if in sympathy. "He only had a thin wool blanket when I first found him."

Raph noticed the thick blue comforter currently covering the ten year old, and looked at Mikey questioningly.

"Eh-heh." Mikey rubbed the back of his head, then shrugged sheepishly. "I saw that in the window of a nearby store, and thought that he might like it. I left money for it, I swear!"

"An' he didn't wake up?" Raph asked, more curious then anything.

Mikey snorted. "Of course he woke up. He's Leo!" He flexed his arms experimentally. "And let me tell you, dudes, that ceiling has almost _no_ handholds! I thought my arms were going to give out hiding up there!"

"You're lucky he didn't see you." Donnie observed, pulling out his tablet and flipping out a touch pen to start typing things in.

"Man, it was a close one! If he had just flipped the light switch, he woulda seen me for sure." Mikey added, watching the window. "I'm not sure why he didn't. He just... went back to bed for some reason."

"How... how close did you get to him?" Raph's voice was quieter then usual, though he didn't take his eyes off the window and his sleeping brother's form.

"If I reached out, I could have touched him, I was that close." Mikey sighed happily.

Raph looked almost longingly across the street, then shrugged. "Meh, I think you did the right thing, Mikey. Leo was cold."

Mikey looked at his hands for a moment, then looked up. "Is it terrible of me to kinda wish he did turn the lights on?"

Raph was silent, then reached over and gave Mikey's shoulders a quick squeeze. "I miss him too, Mikey. We all do."

"Guys?" Casey called up to them questioningly, and they looked down to see the tan and green van parked down the street, and Casey and April waiting in the alley, where the occupants across the street wouldn't see. They all dropped down, settling onto the ledge of a fire escape so their human family could join in on the conversation.

"Donnie?" April asked quietly.

Donnie sighed and lowered his tablet, looking serious. "There are health and ordinance violations going back years. Technically, this place is supposed to be condemned and uninhabited." He lifted the screen up again and tapped it a few times. "The owner, a Agatha Freda, apparently owns dozens of such properties, and has been convicted several times for fraud and violations. She has a long history of running illicit boarding houses, renting them out in illegal manners to people who wish to stay out of sight for one reason or another."

"And... and Leo's family lives in a house like _that_?!" Casey asked in disbelief.

"I dunno. Maybe?" Mikey looked crestfallen and forlorn. "He... he looked pretty alone in there, guys."

"So we very well might be looking at a case of severe neglect." Donnie frowned, peering out the window and narrowing his eyes disapprovingly when he saw a drunk couple stagger out of the side door to settle for making out by the trash cans. "Though I call into question if there is any parental figure at all."

Casey watched the scene distastefully. "You said that this was an 'Off the Books' type of place? Now, if a kid was trying to live out on his own, but can't rent any place normal because he's underage..."

April groaned and ran her hand over her face. "Oh... Leo... Why didn't you say anything?"

Raph's hand tightened on the railing so hard that the rusty metal began to creak and complain. "Guys. Th' Plan fell to shit." he said in a dangerously tense, low voice. "My vote is that Leo needs an intervention."

"Agreed." Donnie nodded, tapping at his screen. "New Plan?"

"The new plan is that I'm going in there and getting him out." April stood up, her face hard and dark as she glared at the building.

"Are... are you sure that's a good idea?" Donnie glanced up. "He's not in any immediate danger, and we still don't have all the facts..."

I am not going to leave Leo alone in that moldy, sleazy roach motel one more night, Donnie!" April snapped.

"Right." Raph cracked his neck in total agreement and stood up, reaching for a handhold to climb up to the roof. "Keep your camera and mic on. You run into any trouble, give the word and we'll come in and rip the place apart."

"Oh, because that's the first impression that Leo needs to have of us." Donnie groaned, fingering his forehead. "Giant, violent mutants attacking his house."

"We're going to rescue Leo?" Mikey asked hopefully.

"Yes, Mikey." April glowered at the building as if were, in fact, the Foot Headquarters and not just some broken down old apartment complex. "We're rescuing Leo."

"New Plan it is, then." Casey flipped down his hockey mask in eager anticipation. "Let's go bring our lost boy home."

* * *

I was deep in strange dreams of frog knights fighting dragons while mermaids cheered on from the ocean below, when loud yelling from downstairs jolted me awake once more.

I grumbled to myself, at first thinking that it was normal party noise and sleepily annoyed by my noisy house mates. I was just about to roll over and fall back asleep, when I realized that something wasn't quite right.

I sat up, suddenly much more alert.

Something was going on. The party downstairs had shifted in tone, and there was a tense undercurrent to the murmurs and voices now.

One of the voices... it couldn't be her... She didn't know where...

I swallowed hard when I realized that all three of my Shadows were outside now, and from the flare of their auras, I could tell that something had gotten them tense and alert.

I began to throw off my covers, ready to investigate, when I paused. Then I looked down at my bed, confused.

There was a thick, Space-Heroes themed blanket now on my bed. I suddenly remembered how warm I felt when waking up.

But where had...? My... my Orange Shadow? Did this mean...?

From the sounds going on downstairs, I didn't have time to sit and ponder this baffling mystery. Somehow, I felt trouble in the air.

Pushing aside the warm blanket as a mystery to be solved later, I slipped on my shoes, moved the chair away from where it was propped under the door handle, and silently moved down the hallway. Stealthily creeping up to the railings of the upstairs landing, I peeked down to the scene below, and my breath caught in my throat.

April and Casey?! But... how?!

It truly was April and Casey down there, surrounded by the unhappy tenets who's party they had obviously just crashed. How had they even found this place?! What did I do now?!

April was right up in Mrs. Freda's face, looking extremely angry and unconcerned about the crowd around them. "...he's only a child, and you did nothing except exploit him!" she was in the middle of snarling at the short, weathered woman in an old scuffed up pink robe and patchy slippers.

Mrs. Freda narrowed her eyes at April, then calmly took a long drag on her cigarette, before deliberately exhaling the smoke right in my Sensei's face. I tensed up, jaw tightening, but then curiously noted that even though the smoke billowed around April's face, none of it actually got close to touching her, like she was able to put up some sort of invisible field. She didn't flinch at all, just glared at Mrs. Freda.

"Listen, girlie, you don't belong here." Mrs. Freda flicked some ash from her cigarette to the side. "Now I want you to stop sticking your pretty little, stuck up nose where it don't belong, and get the hell offa my property!"

"Not without Leo." April's voice was low and dangerous.

Mrs Freda gave a hoarse, barking laugh not at all filled with humor. "If that little snot is going to cause me this much trouble, I might hafta raise his rent even more! I'm basically renting it to him underprice as it is!"

Well, that was a lie. I knew that she was charging me more then some of the others. Mostly because I didn't have anything to offer her except money. And I felt my teeth grind just a little listening to how she talked to my Sensei.

"You a friend of the runt's?" Mr. Owen was creeping closer, and leered at April. "You got some fine legs on ya, girl. Tell ya what, wrap them around me, and I'll see if I can't spot the difference in the kid's rent for a few months."

Calm. Deep breaths. I needed to be in control of myself. Keep my emotions under control.

"Try anything, and I'll snap off whatever part you used to touch me off and force feed it to you." April warned him, her posture deadly.

This only drew an amused leer from the thin, balding man. "You're really an uptight little bitch, ain't ya?"

The drunk men and women surrounding them laughed as if he had just told some witty joke. And then the laughed turned to surprised yelps and cries of alarm  as I launched myself over the railing like a bullet. Mr Owen gave a grunt of shock and surprise as all forty three pounds of a coldly furious youth slammed into his chest, knocking him back a few steps. I landed lightly, and like lightning swept my leg around, catching him in the back of the knee, causing the already off-balance man to crash to the floor onto his back. I pounced on him immediately, twisting his arm around and feeling cold rage burn in my chest as I looked into his bleary, drunk, and startled eyes.

"You should never, ever talk to anybody like that." I told him in a calm, quiet, and deadly voice that sounded like it belonged to somebody much older. "And you will never EVER talk to _HER_ like that! Do you understand me?!"

There was a flash of genuine fear in his eyes, but then a second later he drunkenly blinked the fear away as he seemed to realize that, wait, this was just a small child sitting on his chest! "Get offa me, brat!" he snarled as he slugged me hard across the face with his free hand.

The blow sent me tumbling, but I caught myself quickly and ended rolling up in a crouch on the floor, muscles tense and ready to fling myself back into the fight.

But in that half a heartbeat that it took for me to right myself, it became unnecessary. Casey was there, standing defensively between me and the other adults with his hockey stick at the ready, and April was standing over Mr. Owen, who had the oddest look on his face and was sitting stock still, jaw clenched tightly. It looked like she was just lightly touching him under the chin, but the man's tense and quivering body language screamed that he was in pain but completely unable to move. The rest of the room had fallen into hushed quiet.

"Now you listen to me." April's voice was low, quiet, and controlled. "I'm touching a pressure point, pinning a nerve. That's why you're unable to move right now. It's painful, yes, but I'm not pressing hard enough to cause any permanent damage. Yet. If I were to shift my hold just a little, I could bruise, or even outright sever, some very important nerve endings. And I assure you that you do not want that to happen. So you just sit there and let this warning sink into your thick, drug addled brain."

Mr. Owen gave a strangled little whimper.

"You don't ever hit a child like that again. _EVER_." she hissed, her face and voice like ice. "If I ever hear of a repeat of tonight, I will come back, and I rip out what few teeth you still have remaining and use them to neuter you. Do you understand me?"

Mr. Owen's eyes were bulging, but he nodded as best as he could in April's grip. She stepped back, and he fell forward to his hand and knees, gasping for air while sweat dripped down his face.

"See, that's the thing." Casey conversationally observed, glancing at the other adults milling about uncertainly as if he were inviting them to step in. "People see us, and always seem to think that, me being the large, muscular, crazy dude that I am, I'm the one to watch out for. And yeah, I can more then hold my own in a brawl. But Red here? Phew. I've seen her clear out whole rooms of Purple Dragon thugs without breaking a sweat."

The adults crowding around us seemed to back off just a little, muttering darkly to each other and obviously a little intimidated.

"Leo, are you okay?" April had quickly moved over and knelt down besides me, taking my face in her hands and gently examining my cheek, which was already starting to swell a little.

"I'm fine." I said through clenched teeth, glaring around at all the adults in the room, both in an effort to protect my friends from any hostile retaliation, and to try and stem the growing panic building in my chest. Things were falling apart quickly. It was obvious that I wasn't going to be welcome here anymore. Now what would I do? Where would I go?! Why was April here?! I was doing just fine on my own!

"Red, I've got this. Just get Leo out of here." Casey said, casually propping his hockey stick up on his shoulder. "I'll gather up his things. These guys aren't going to be a problem."

"Come on, Leo. Let's go get your coat." April said gently, helping me stand up. "Everything's going to be okay. You're safe, and you're coming home with me."

I was silent as I reluctantly showed them my room and April helped me grabbed my coat and backpack. Mr Acosta had come out of his room at the commotion, and when he found out what was going on, he actually looked a little relieved, and offered to help Casey pack up what little possessions I had left in there. I wasn't quite sure what to do with the new comforter that had appeared on my bed, but decided not to say anything and let Casey pack that up as well. I wasn't sure if it was actually from my Orange Shadow or what, but there was too much going on tonight for me to worry about it now.

As we walked out the door, Mrs Freda glared at me out of her one good eye, the end of her cigarette glowing. "I don't want to see your scrawny ass here ever again, you hear me, brat?" She exhaled a bit of smoke. "It'd be a shame if the wrong people were to hear of your little adventures, right?"

I tensed up a little.

April stopped dead in her tracks, and turned towards the woman, suddenly steely and cold again. "Are you threatening him?"

Mrs. Freda paused, then gave her a mock, insincere smile. "Of course not, dearie."

"Good. Because I ever find out that you, or anybody in this room," April paused to let her steely gaze glance around the room, "ever touched or harmed Leo, in the past or in future events, then you had better pray to whatever god you believe in that I am the one who comes after you, because there are others out there who will wish to call dibs on tearing you apart, and I assure you, I am by far the least terrifying option."

The people in the room didn't look completely convinced of that last fact.

Mrs. Freda seemed to have to good sense to know when to back off, though, and stepped back, nodding towards the door. "Just get outta here."

"Gladly." April grumbled under her breath, her hand on my back as she guided me out.

Everything was going to be okay. Everything was not falling apart. I could figure this out.

Oh, how badly did I need my Shadows right now!

I closed my eyes, trying to pick up on their auras once more, needing the reassurance that they were still there.

There. They were still on that rooftop across the ... Were Orange and Purple really sitting on Red Shadow? Why? If I strained, I could swear I could hear angry cussing faintly off in the distance, though it might have just been a normal city background noise. Maybe it was just wishful thinking.

April's van was parked down the street, and we climbed in. April started the van, and then began driving away down the street. Away from Mrs Freda's boarding house, and towards... what? What would I do now? Where would I go? Would April call the authorities on me now? Would I get taken away again? How far would my Shadows follow me? Would they give up? Were they even really up there?

I felt hot tears sting at my eyes, but I stubbornly refused to let them show.

Finally, we arrived at the old antique store that we had been using as a dojo. April put the van into park, and exhaled with her hands still on the steering wheel, obviously trying to decompress. Then she twisted about, rummaging around and pulling out a surprisingly well stocked first aid kit from the back. "Here, let's take care of your cheek before the swelling gets too bad."

I pulled my knees up as I hugged my backpack tightly to my chest as she reached over and began fussing over my cheek. Finally I couldn't hold it back anymore, and I blurted out, "What were you doing there?"

"The real question is, what were _you_ doing there, Leo?!" April gave me a look, not backing down an inch as she dabbed some ointment on the tiny cut.

"I was doing perfectly fine!" I argued back sullenly. "I had everything under control! I am quite capable of taking care of myself!"

"Leo! You're ten years old! You're just a kid still!" April paused and looked at me gently, seriously. "You shouldn't have to take care of yourself!"

"I'm doing fine! I was doing just fine!" I slumped down in the seat, before looking away. She was just trying to protect me. She didn't know. "I... I know you only meant to help, but I really wish you hadn't done that."

"Leo, that was no place for a child." April said, gently applying a cold pack to my cheek. "Why were you there? What happened to your parents? Your home?"

I was sullenly quiet.

"Leo. Please... talk to me." April looked at me with those large, understanding green eyes.

I swallowed hard. Then I sighed miserably, looking away. "I... I'm sorry. I can't tell anybody. Not yet. I... I just need to figure out a few things first."

She was quiet for a moment, and then reached over and cupped my face with her hands, lifting my face so I was looking her in the eyes. The warmth of her hands felt nice. "Leo..." she said seriously, searching my face. "I'm your Sensei, remember? I'll do whatever I can to help you, but you need to be honest with me. You have people who care for you more then you can possibly know. Please... trust me."

I hugged my backpack more tightly to my chest miserably. What should I tell her? How could I get through this without losing everything? How could I fail so badly?!

"Leonardo..." she quietly put a hand on top of mine.

And then it was like a dam broke. All the emotions and secrets and failures that I had locked away over the years all suddenly burst forth and bubbled to the surface at once, boiling out uncontrollably.

"Peter Eastman!" I snapped at her.

"What?" April was obviously confused and taken aback by my reaction.

"My name is supposed to be Peter Eastman!" I pulled away from her hand, tense and tired of everything. "But that never felt right, and one day when I was learning to read, I saw the name Leonardo in a book and it seemed right, like that was actually supposed to be my name, not Peter, so I adopted it, and it felt _right_. Just like so many things that I do that I'm not really sure why I do them, only that I know that they feel right!"

It was like my world was finally starting to crack, and I couldn't stop myself. "I do stupid stuff like that all the time, and I don't know why! Like my coming here to New York City! I had no reason to actually come here, you know. I lived in California. Do you know how difficult it is for a kid my age to travel all the way across the entire country alone? With no money or parents or anything?! It was stupid and reckless and dangerous, and why here of all the places in the world?! I had no place to live here. That's why lived at Mrs Fredas! It's crazy to even think about doing something like this! But, like so many things, I just knew that I needed to come here, because somehow, I knew New York City is where THEY lived. And more then anything, I knew that's what I had to do! What I still have to do! I need to find _THEM_!"

"Th-them?" April stammered, eyes wide.

"My Shadows!" I yelled at her, tears forming in my eyes. "My three Shadows! Red, Purple, and Orange! They're always there, haunting me in forgotten memories and dreams! All I know is that I need to find them, that I need to protect them! That's my job! I _need_ to take care of them! But I can't!" The words began to spill out faster and faster. "Then I finally thought that I found them! I can sense them nearby! They're close! Always so close! But whenever I try to go to them, they always stay just out of reach, they never let me find them! And then I thought that maybe, just maybe, if I got stronger, if I showed that I could be strong enough to protect them, then... then they'd let me find them! If I was strong enough, they'd want me!" I was ranting wildly now. "But I'm not strong enough, and I can't find them! And, to tell the truth, I'm afraid that I'll never find them because they're not actually real, that it's all made up in my head! I'm terrified that one day I'll find out that I'm chasing Shadows that don't really exist because it turns out that the real truth is actually that I'm really just CRAZY!"

I sat there for a moment, breathing heavily, and then what I just said washed over me, and my face went pale

Oh no.

Oh gods no!

I should not have said those things! I was never supposed to tell anybody about my Shadows!

Terrified, I looked over to April to see her reaction, and it was worse then I feared. She looked at me with wide eyes and mouth open, obviously horrified by what I had just blurted out to her.

I turned, shoved open the car door, and bolted for the alleyway.

"Leo! No!" she cried out for me, jolted into action. She threw open her car door and scrambled out, crying out behind me, "Wait!"

I ran as fast as I could, my sneakers slapping against the pavement as tears ran down my cheeks.

"Leo! Hold on! Wait, please!"

She was faster then I was, and would soon catch me. I changed directions abruptly, sliding down with a dive and pushing myself between a few cracked boards in a large fence that spanned between two buildings

"No!" she cried, stopping at the fence, too big to fit where I had gone. She tried to force her way through as I continued to run, leaving her behind. "Wait, Leo! I can help you find them! Your Shadows! They're real!"

I didn't stop, and her voice faded as I increased the distance between us.

Because I knew that she was just saying that so I wouldn't run. They weren't actually real.

Never before had I felt so terrified and alone. I had messed everything up! Now my only friends in the world thought that I was insane, and maybe I was! Maybe my future was to live my life forever alone and homeless, one of those broken creatures pushing rusty shopping carts up the street and muttering to myself about Red, Purple, and Orange Shadows that didn't really exist.

Speaking of which, I could sense them nearby. Because of course they would show up now. Red, Purple, and Orange, running over the rooftops towards me, brighter then I had ever felt them before. Their auras almost felt as desperate to find me as I felt.

I gave a ragged gasp, and pushed myself faster. I ran away from them.

I was so tired of grasping for colors that I could never reach!

I was so tired of all these memories that I couldn't remember!

I wasn't Leonardo! That was just some crazy delusion, like so many that I had. I was really Peter Eastman, a stupid, crazy, weak human ten year old boy who was insane enough to mistake dreams and delusions for reality.

The brightly colored shadows were gaining on me, and soon they would catch up with me. And once they caught me, nothing would actually happen, because they weren't real, except it would prove to me once and for all that they weren't real, and I didn't want that to happen, because to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they weren't real would break my heart.

I shifted directions and, my legs burning with the strain, I bolted for a crowded street. There wasn't a huge crowd of people right now, but there were enough humans milling about that I could push myself between their legs and disappear from my Shadow's sight, going where they couldn't follow.

When I was finally sure that I had lost them, leaving them far behind to remain safely real in my dreams forever, I searched out and finally found an old abandoned car in a junkyard to huddle and hide in, trying not to let the tears fall as I tried to keep myself warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies to any actual Peter Eastmans out there. I needed a name, and I felt like it was less obvious then Kevin Laird.


	8. You Will Always Be There

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just found out that my 'Jumping to Conclusions' story won third place in the 2017 TMNT Universal Reader's Choice Awards in the Mature Ballot for Most Exciting Action/Adventure! Technically fourth, as there were two people tied for second, but still! Yay! I wasn't expecting that at all, and found it incredibly ironic, as, except for Raph swearing, I didn't intend for it to be a mature story, nor for it to be an exciting action/adventure. More like... I dunno... a pointless rambling where the turtles flailed about panicking over nothing. But I'm excited! That was my first attempt at writing in over a decade, and I'm fond of it nonetheless.
> 
> Anyways, here's the chapter that everybody's been waiting for. I hope it all pays off!

* * *

Raph walked into the Lair, flexing his three fingers and feeling the chill recede the longer he was in the well-heated home of the Hamato clan. Not that he planned on staying in here long. Despite being only early November, they were already shattering records for cold, and ice was already starting to cover some of the waterways. Dark circles under his eyes were visible even with his red mask on, and he looked and felt exhausted, but he still dogged on stubbornly. He quickly moved towards the lab, where several screens and monitors were set up, all running different programs.

"Raph?" Donnie blinked and glanced up from his keyboard, lowering his headset inquiringly as he noticed his red brother enter. He was sitting among a mountain of papers and wires, monitoring several of the screens at once and looking just as bone weary as Raph did.

Raph held up his tPhone. "Battery just died. You have one of those portable chargers handy I can take out with me?"

Donnie reached over and took the tPhone from him, clicking his tongue in annoyance as he examined it, then placed it in a charger. "Sadly, no. Mikey just took the last one that had any charge in it, and the rest haven't recharged up yet. The cold is sapping the batteries faster then I expected. It's something I'll have to look at improving."

Raph gave an annoyed grunt. It would take about an hour to get a full charge, and he wanted to get back out searching as soon as he could. "Anybody find anything yet?"

"No." Donnie sighed, rubbing his eyes wearily. "April talked to the owner of the pet shop where Leo worked, and she promised to keep an eye out for him and to call April if she sees anything. Casey is keeping close to the park where we first met him, just in case, while Mikey is covering some of the popular gathering spots for the homeless to gather and warm up." He looked up at Raph sympathetically as he slid his headset back up on his head. "Why don't you take a quick nap, Raph, while it charges, and warm up? You look like you need it."

Raph just crossed his muscular arms and gave him a look.

Don sighed in resigned acknowledgment and instead turned back to a thick folder he had laying open next to him, picking it up and offering it to Raph. "I need to keep monitoring these police and hospital channels, just in case there's a report of a ten year old boy matching Leo's description called in, but you might find this interesting as we wait."

Raph uncrossed his arms and blinked, then took the folder curiously and flipped it open. He stopped and swallowed hard when he saw the picture printed on the top page. It was human Leo, only he looked even younger in this one, looking at the camera with doleful blue eyes.

"Since I actually had a name to go off of, Leo's new legal name of Peter Eastman, I was actually find where he came from and some of his history." Donnie explained, his tone somber.

"You figured out who his family is?" Raph looked far off and distant as he traced Leo's picture, then he glanced around the lab for a second. He settled for carefully moving a stack of papers off of a nearby chair and sat down before turning back to the folder.

"It's... definitely not what we hoped for." Donnie's face went grim, and he gave a sigh as he ran his hand over his face, before looking at Raph seriously. "From the court records I was able to pull up, Leo's parents were two underage teenagers still in highschool when Leo was born. And, from the looks of it, whatever hormonal attraction that had sparked between them was apparently short lived, and Leo's birth quickly devolved to a nasty feud between the two families. There ended up being a rather vicious custody battle in court. Police were called on multiple occasions, it wasn't pretty." Donnie gave a disgusted, outraged scoff, obviously offended on his brother's behalf. "From what I could see, it became more about 'sticking it to the other side' then it ever was about their child's wellbeing. Poor Leo was caught in the middle, and was constantly being used more as a pawn to hurt the other side then their son."

Raph's face darkened and he growled, turning another page as he listened.

Donnie nodded, he knew that his red brother would share his feelings on the subject. He continued. "That lasted for four years. Then Leo's father married and moved back to inherit family holdings in Japan, giving up all parental rights at his new wife's insistence, and, from a few notes in Leo's file later, there has been no further contact between them since. I found some records, Leo has some half siblings over there that he probably has no idea about. With his father now out of the picture, full custody of Leo then went to his maternal grandfather."

"Wait. Not his ma?" Raph looked up.

"She moved to Hollywood as soon as she graduated." Donnie said dryly "She seems to have been struck hard with star fever, and is still there, as far as I can tell. She has been in a few very minor acting roles, though to look at her social media pages, she believes she's the next Megan Fox."

Raph snorted, obviously not impressed, then flipped another page. "So Leo's been living with his Grandpa then?"

Donnie paused, then swallowed hard. "He... he did for a few years, until he was six. Then his grandfather suffered a major cardiac arrest and he..." Donnie bit his lip, and quietly said, "It was Leo that made the 911 call."

Raph slammed the folder shut and swore quietly.

Donnie continued quietly. "After that, Leo's mother quickly signed away her parental rights as well. Apparently she didn't want a child to hinder her career." He gave a disgusted scoff. "Leo became a ward of the state, was quickly passed through a few foster and group homes as beds became available, and then he disappeared just a few months before his eighth birthday."

"And he's been living alone all this time then?" Raph winced, running his hand over his face.

"From the sound of it, yes." Donnie swallowed and nodded. " To top it all off, from what he said to April before he... fled... he must still have some residual memories of his past life on top of that. He's... been looking for us, and he doesn't know why."

"Dammit." Raph groaned, slumping back. "We fucked up."

No wonder he's been acting so skittish around April and Casey." Donnie sighed in miserable agreement. "His old life kind of remembers them and trusts them, but his new life is telling him that he can't trust anybody. I'm guessing Leo's probably developed some abandonment issues in this new life of his." Donnie looked at Raph sadly. "Our brother is more lost then I think we realize."

"All the more reason to find him." Raph waved a hand, his face set in determination.

A flashing light and beeping noise from one of Donnie's screens interrupted them and caught their attention. Donnie was suddenly all business again, twisting about in his seat and instantly typing, his face grim. He reached over and flicked on a switch, and suddenly they could both hear the crackling, distorted voices coming over a dispatch radio.

Both turtles listened tensely as police, ambulance, and the dispatcher described a young boy who appeared to be about ten years old who had fallen over a railing into the Hudson river. It sounded like he had been pulled out quickly enough, and was on his way to the hospital to be treated for hypothermia. When the boy was described as having blond hair and his weight and height were estimated to be about twice that of Leo's, both turtles relaxed a little.

"It wasn't him." Donnie exhaled, flicking the switch.

Raph swallowed hard. "Yeah."

Donnie groaned and moved to pour himself another cup of coffee. "Raph, try to get a little nap in. If you're going to be out there looking, we need you to be at your peak."

"... Yeah." Raph glanced at his tPhone where it sat in the charger, and stood up.

He walked out of the lab and across the floor, but paused by the lair entrance.

He really shouldn't go out without his phone, but... It wouldn't hurt to do a quick check around the Hudson river for a bit.

Just a quick check.

* * *

I exhaled slowly, using an old baseball bat as if it were a sword as I moved determinedly through the katas. I had been doing this for hours, and my muscles were starting to complain, but I didn't stop. Meditation wasn't going to happen with my mind in such turmoil, and the only other thing I could think of was to attempt to work myself into a state of exhaustion so I wouldn't have to think anymore.

My feet moved through each step deliberately as I moved across the floor, my balance perfect. My shoulder dipped while I swung the bat down and around, following it up with a high kick and twist. Twirl the bat in a circle, turn about, thrust, step back, and block. I turned again, arms flowing easily with each swing, parry, and thrust as if I were skimming through a dance I had danced a thousand times before.

But then my heel caught on an uneven board, and I overbalanced as I tried to catch myself. It was only through several desperate hops and arm flailing that I managed to keep from completely toppling over.

I snarled at the imperfection, punching the wall in frustration. Then I quickly composed myself and straightened up.

Calm. I couldn't lose control. I needed to stay calm.

The warm fire was starting to get low, and I should stop anyways and tend to it.

I moved over to the stack of wooden pallets and worked on snapping off a few boards, before moving over to the steel barrel and setting them in, sending a cascading shower of glowing embers upwards.

I glanced at the only other inhabitant of this old abandoned church. The old homeless woman continued to rock the tattered and half broken doll in her arms, muttering incoherently things to it soothingly. One of her eyes was greyed over and milky, her hair was matted and filthy, and one arm was curled up uselessly against her chest as she rocked in place.

I sighed, then moved over to set a pot of water over the fire to boil, before digging out two packets of ramen noodles and worked on getting the old bowls I had salvaged cleaned up as best as I could. Once I had the meager but simple meal cooked, I divided it evenly, and gently pushed one bowl towards the woman. She paused, looked down at the bowl, then made a pleased crooning noise as she shakily picked it up with her good arm.

I tucked my legs under me as I sat down to eat my own portion. I didn't know my roommate's name. I wasn't even entirely sure she was aware I was there. But I needed to provide... I needed to protect... I... I... didn't really know what I needed to do...

I sighed and set aside my bowl, shifting to hug my knees miserably. I should eat. I needed the calories, especially in this cold weather. But I wasn't hungry.

This old abandoned church I was using as sanctuary was surprisingly peaceful. The only noises I could hear was the crackle of the fire, the lonesome moan of the wind winding around the many missing planks and holes in the neglected building, causing old wood to creak, and finally the ceaseless muttering of the old homeless woman who was my only companion at the moment.

If I went back to April and Casey, what would happen? Would they try to 'fix' me like all the others? Try and make me forget my Shadows? Would they send me away? Would my Shadows still lurk forever out of my reach? Were they even real? Was I crazy?

Suddenly, the front door banged open loudly with a kick and a gust of cold wind, and I jumped and immediately and instinctively slipped in the shadow of a fallen podium, ready in a crouch with my baseball bat in hand.

"Ha! See! What did I tell you guys?" a huge, muscular man strode into the old abandoned church confidentially, spreading his arms as he gestured towards the building. "This place'll be perfect!" He had a purple eastern-style dragon sewn onto his jacket, and I felt my hackles rise.

A large group of obvious gang members followed him in, six of them in total and each wearing a similarly adorned jacket.

"Yeah, it'll do for the meeting. Abandoned, out of the way, cops won't bother us here." a scarred female with a green mohawk glanced around, then her eyes fell on the fire and the old woman huddled beside it. "There's a bit of trash to take out first though, I see."

"Ha! Look at the old lady and her dolly!" another gang member laughed, a thin adolescent with dozens of piercings. "Hey, how far into the river do you think I could kick that thing?"

"The doll or the hag?" his buddy elbowed him with a smirk.

That drew a laugh. "Why not both?"

The old woman seemed to have enough sense remaining to realize that these people meant her harm, and shrank back, shivering and covering the doll desperately.

Okay, this wasn't going to happen.

"Hey! Leave her alone!" I snarled, standing up.

Good. Their attention was drawn from her and fully onto me.

"Oi! A brat as well!"

"A scrawny one at that!"

"How many times do you think he'd skip across the water's surface?"

"Touch me, and we'll find out how many places your arm can break." I said coolly as I began to slowly circle around, determined to divert their gazes and attention further away from the homeless woman. At least she seemed to have the presence of mind to try and get away, quietly whimpering as she crawled away.

The first guy to enter, obviously their leader, sneered as he stepped forward. "Mouthy little brat, ain't ya? I like your spunk, kid! It's too bad you're such a runt. Might've offered you a spot in the Purple Dragons if it looked like you'd be of any use."

"You come in here and threaten to assault torment a helpless old woman and a young child, and then you make it sound like it's an honor to be invited to be part of such a gang?" I raised an eyebrow. "You're nothing but honorless bullies and cowardly thugs who need to pick on the helpless to feel strong."

"Why you little brat!" the leader snarled angrily. "You obviously need to learn a lesson or two about proper respect!"

The old woman had managed to slip out of a broken part of the wall in the back. They were so focused on me, that they hadn't noticed. She would be safe, as long as I gave her time to get away. Good.

One aspect about my strange situation in life, where dreams and memories haunted me, was that I always seemed to have instinctively known what to do when I found myself in dangerous situations. It was if my instincts ran off of an entire lifetime of experiences that I just couldn't remember. These guys were dangerous, and were just itching to draw blood tonight, and apparently they didn't care whose. If I wanted a chance at escaping, I needed to do something unexpected and catch them off guard.

I kicked him hard in the knee.

He gave a surprised yelp and fell to the ground, clutching his knee and swearing loudly. Before he or any of the others could react, I had bolted between some old, broken down pews and into an office, vaulting out of an open, broken window and outside.

I could hear yelling, and then all seven of the Purple Dragons poured out of the old church, angrily chasing after me.

I quickly ran down the street, eyes darting around for possible escape avenues among the old buildings surrounding us. We were going in the opposite direction of the old woman, so that was at least successful. Okay, I could deal with this. All I needed was a plan. If I followed this road and headed left at the overpass, I would quickly come across a mall, and while I wasn't really confident I could count on any help from the mall security, I could probably lose them easily in there...

A gunshot rang out, and I yelped as bricks next to my head exploded into red dust.

Guns?! I wasn't expected them to actually shoot at me!

I ducked off to the side and quickly grabbed a fire escape ladder, scrambling up it as agilely as a spider.

Despite the trouble I was in, I felt more angry then scared. What kind of cold hearted monster would intentionally shoot at and try to kill a kid over a kicked knee?! I was only ten years old! Those psychopaths had no honor!

I was hoping that my agility and rooftop scramble would be too difficult for them to follow, and apparently for at least three of them, it was. But I still had four of them on my tail, and I was in trouble.

And then everything changed.

Suddenly, off in the distance, I could sense _HIM_ , and my heart leapt up to my chest.

My Red Shadow.

I leapt over a low wall, ducked under a wooden water tower, and quickly considered my options as I continued to run.

If I turned left, I would be heading in the direction of the mall I had originally planned on using. There wasn't much I could do except pray that somebody there would help me, or that I would be able to hide successfully. But now, with the gun involved and somebody apparently willing to murder children over a bruise, I was worried that I might draw danger to innocents.

If I turned right, I would head towards the river and a dead end. There wouldn't be anywhere to hide. But I would be running towards my Red Shadow. He would help me. He was strong. I would be safe with him.

But what if it was just a trick of my mind? What if I was really crazy, and he wasn't real? If I was wrong, if he wasn't real, then I would be alone, I would trapped with nowhere to run, and I would most likely be dead.

Another bullet whizzed over my head as I ducked around a corner, and I came up to the rooftop where I could no longer put off my decision.

I had to choose now.

So I ran to the right.

Towards the Hudson River and a dead end.

Towards my Red Shadow.

I could hear the gang members behind me yell in triumph. Apparently they thought that they would be able to corner me over this way, that my time was running out.

They might not be wrong, I thought to myself as I leapt up to kick off a wall, giving myself just enough height to make the clearing between these two buildings. I was probably going to get caught at the end of all of this, and find myself in very real trouble.

Except... my Red Shadow was flying over the rooftops towards us, growing ever closer. His aura was bright, brighter then I had ever seen it before.

How could the Purple Dragons behind me not see him? How could the whole neighborhood be unaware of his movement? He was like a brilliant comet streaking over the city buildings.

And then came the moment of truth. On the rooftop of an old abandoned factory building teetering on the very edge of the river, I ran out of room to run. To go any further forward would be to drop three stories into the icy waters directly below.

Biting my lip and praying that I had made the right decision by trusting that my Red Shadow actually existed, I dashed towards the roof access. I quickly noted that the door was securely locked and barred. Panting, I instead slipped around and took shelter behind the brick wall that housed the door.

One of the gang members saw me and came running around after me, yelling with his metal pipe raised.

Idiot.

I swung my baseball bat, catching him across the back of the knee and sending him tumbling down with a yelp of pain. His companions would come around to help him in seconds, though. I wouldn't be able to fight them all off. I was going to be in a lot of trouble in a just few heartbeats.

But then **HE** arrived.

With all the force of a raging inferno, my Red Shadow slammed onto the scene and suddenly there was nothing but chaos and mayhem. I couldn't see it from my position behind the wall, but I could hear the bones crack, the fleshy crunches, and the pained screams.

My Red Shadow was here!

He was real!

And he was _ANGRY_!

His stormy and turbulent aura raged and covered the whole rooftop in brilliant red like a fierce wildfire, engulfing all in its fury. From the sounds of it, the fight would be over in only a few moments. But I still had the guy I had kneecaped scrambling up before me. He was still conscious, and now very, very angry.

I spun in and swung my baseball bat again, hoping to catch his wrist and force him to drop the metal pipe, but he used that same pipe to block it, then swung down. I leapt back, only to realize too late that it was a feint, and couldn't move quickly enough to avoid the fist swinging towards my face. I was sent flying back into the brick wall behind me with a grunt, the bat flying out of my hands to rattle onto the rooftop, and then he was reaching down to hoist me up by the front of my shirt, snarling in my face.

Not bothering to waste my energy trying to break his hold, I let my hand snap forward, landing a perfect teishō blow right on his nose with the most satisfying crunch, and just as quickly, before he could fully react, I brought my knee to catch him under the chin.

It hurt him. But it wasn't enough.

He screamed, punched me, and then, in a fit of rage, swung my small form around and let me go, throwing me.

In a panic, I scrabbled at the rooftop, but I couldn't stop myself, and I rolled right over the edge of the building! Just below me was an old dock, sheltering the freezing water enough to allow a patch of ice to build over the surface of the normally choppy river, black like a waiting abyss,.

I yelped as I fell, arms flailing, trying to grab at something, anything, to keep me from crashing through the ice waiting below.

And somehow, amazingly, my hands managed to somehow catch a hold of a metal bar, stopping my fall with a jolt that caused creaks of protest from old bolts and several pieces of sandy brick to rain down. The bar was part of the support system of some rusted metal box sticking out of the side of the old factory wall. An air cooling unit? An exhaust fan? I had no idea what this metal box sticking out of the wall was supposed to be, and I wasn't really interested in finding out.

The only thing that interested me at that moment was that I was dangling precariously over ice sheets and frozen, icy water below, and I quickly realized with concern that the bar that had saved me had been halfway yanked out of the wall by my fall, and now the whole metal unit was starting to groan and shift from its bolted position.

It was going to fall, and I would fall with it if I didn't move fast!

I noticed a small window nearby, all the glass long broken, and it looked difficult but promising. Taking a few quick breaths to ready myself, I gritted my teeth, swung my legs back and forth to gain momentum, and then, realizing I was running out of time, swung up, curled my body around, which strained my muscles to their limits. I was young, strong, and stubborn, though, and made the maneuver that allowed me to brace my feet against the metal box above me, and then I kicked off of it just as it started to fall.

Somehow, by some miracle, my grasping fingers grabbed a hold of the bricks of the window ledge, and I hurriedly pulled myself up and scrambled in, letting myself roll in and collapse on the floor. I lay there on the filthy floor covered in debris, breathing heavily as I listened to the metal unit I had just been dangling off of crash through the ice outside with a loud crack of shattered ice and splash of slushy, frozen water.

That... that had been way too close.

"NO! _LEO_!"

I only had a moment to register that the horrified cry was uttered by strangely familiar voice, and then there was a flash of green and red as a huge form dove down past the window, down into the black, icy water below with a thunderous splash.

I bolted up and rushed over to the window, looking down to the water and broken ice below. I was horrified when I saw nothing but ripples on the water. No! No no no no NO! My Red Shadow! NO!

" _RAPHAEL_!"

The name was ripped out of my soul before I could even comprehend that I was screaming it.

* * *

 

My first instinct was to crawl out of the window and dive down after him. I had to protect him! I had to save him! But I quickly realized how stupid that would be. I could not pull him out, and we would both drown. If I were to save him, I would have to keep my wits about me.

Running so fast that I probably only touched three of the stairs on the long flight down and I bounced off more then one wall, I ran quickly down and out of the doors towards the docks below. I looked around desperately, and my eyes fell on a long abandoned, weathered old rowboat that looked like it might still float. I wasn't going to waste the time checking it over.

Grabbing it and putting all of my tiny ten year old strength into it, I flipped it over and shoved it scrapping over the snowy bank, before it slid over the edge to plop down into the water.

It floated. Good enough.

I grabbed a long thin board and jumped in, using the wooden plank to push off into the water and towards where I had last seen the ripples.

Oh please oh please oh please!

I stopped and leaned over, searching the water desperately. "Surface! Please! I'm up here! Please surface!" I reached down and splashed the water as loud as I could, trying to ignore how painfully icy cold the water was, even with that limited contact.

My Red Shadow was down in that freezing cold darkness. Oh gods!

And then bubbles began to stream up, the water churned, and a dark green and red form burst out of the deathly cold water with a sharp gasp and a spray of water, before disappearing back under.

"Hang on! I'm coming!" I scrambled over to push the boat over towards him.

Red Shadow surfaced again, sputtering and gasping, but somehow, a strong three fingered hand grabbed the side of the boat, a scaly green arm was thrown over, drenched in freezing cold water. I lunged forward to wrap my arms around it, trying to pull him up, but our efforts only caused the boat to pitch wildly, almost overturning.

"Wait! Wait." I realized that this wasn't going to work. "Just... hang on. I'll get us to shore. Please, just hang on for a few more minutes."

Red Shadow gasped, spitting water and shivering, but nodded.

I grabbed my board and quickly shoved off, steering us awkwardly through the icy water to the old, abandoned dock. It only took a few minutes, but it felt like an eternity. My Red Shadow was obviously barely conscious, and if he lost his grip, there was nothing I could do to save him. He was huge and I could never pull him out on my own.

Somehow, I managed to get us both up to the dock, and then, with my pleas and small hands pulling at him, Red Shadow managed to crawl up out of the freezing water, only to collapse on the old, creaking wood, his breathing slow and shallow and ice starting to form on his shell.

"We need to get you warmed up." I grabbed at his ice cold heavily muscled arm, trying to get him up. "We need to get inside the building."

"T-t-too... c-c-c-cold-d-d." he murmured through chattering teeth, eyes closed.

"I know, I know." I grabbed his head, trying to wrap my body around it to give him my body warmth. "Please. You'll die out here!"

He was quiet for moment, then with a sigh, he sluggishly pulled his arms under him, pushed himself up with obviously extreme effort. With my insistent guidance, he stumbled after me, slowly dragging one leg after another almost painfully, until we were inside the old factory once more. Then he leaned against a wall for support for a moment, breathing slowly and heavily, eyes glazed, before he slowly slumped to the floor and finally lost consciousness.

"No! Stay with me!" I ran my fingers over his smooth head, terrified by how cold he was. How could I help him?!

Looking around, I noticed a pile of discard burlap sacks, and quickly ran over to grab armfuls of them, hoping that there weren't any rats or anything unpleasant nesting inside. I quickly piled them on top of him, hoping they'd work as makeshift blankets, and then looked around the old abandoned factory for things I could use.

Half drenched and freezing myself, I still managed to gather up broken bits of wood laying around, and salvaged more by smashing old crates. Yanking my backpack off, I dug around and quickly found the lighter I kept in there, and soon I had several small fires built strategically around him.

I exhaled in relief as the air began to warm up, and took a moment to get the feeling back in my own half frozen fingers, before continuing to improve the situation for my precious Shadow.

First off, I couldn't risk a stray spark venturing towards the probably flammable burlap sacks piled on him, and improvised. I had made a lucky find, and through sheer stubbornness, I managed to pry large metal screens probably once used to strain something off of the nearby machinery, and set them up between Red Shadow and the fire to keep any stray sparks and flames away while still letting the heat through.

And finally, I noticed a large stack of old corrugated tin sheets, the type used for junkyard fencing or tin roofs, and dragged them over to prop up all around the outside of our small makeshift camp, both to reflect the heat inward and to keep the fires from being too obvious to the outside world. I couldn't let any other humans find my Red Shadow, after all, and I didn't want to draw any unwanted attention.

This all done, and spare wood dragged in for easy reach, I finally collapsed next to him, exhausted. Rubbing my sore muscles, I exhaled, and looked back towards my Red Shadow worriedly. He was so still and pale. Would he be okay? Where were my other Shadows?

Wait...

My Red Shadow was here.

He was right here in front of me, and he was real.

Tears formed in my eyes, and I wanted to cry.

I had found him! At long last, I had found one of my Shadows!

He was REAL!

Slowly kneeling down beside him, I reached out and tentatively traced the red cloth mask. My hands were tiny against his huge face. His eyes remained closed, and he didn't respond to my touch in any way. I sighed, feeling worry gnaw at the pit of my stomach.

But he was warming up, and he had stopped shivering. Maybe he would be okay?

And then, as stupid as it sounds, at that moment, I suddenly realized that he wasn't human. He had just looked so strangely familiar and comforting that the fact that he appeared to be a humanoid turtle, of all things, never even crossed my mind.

My shadows were giant turtles. That... that just seemed oddly RIGHT.

I let my hands run down the scaly skin of his muscled, scarred arm, fascinated by the texture, and then traced his calloused, scarred three fingered hand. It just... it just seemed to make more sense then my own five fingers. And his shell... He had a thick heavy shell that was covered in nicks and gouges from deflecting a thousand blows, and the sight and feel of it made my back twitch slightly, like I was trying to remember wearing such magnificent armor.

He sighed, and I perked up hopefully, but he didn't wake up.

I frowned, and looked upwards. I wasn't quite sure what had happened to the gang members. Had my Red Shadow completely obliterated them? He had sounded pretty mad. I wasn't going to take the chance, though, that they would wander down here and hurt him while he was helpless. Though I had lost my bat up on the roof, I had found a metal t-bar that could be used as a weapon in a pinch, and I took it up and sat myself down against him, wiggling so that my back was pressed up against him as much as I could get, trying to share my body warmth with him. Then I crossed my legs and let the metal bar rest across my lap, staring out as I kept guard over my unconscious Red Shadow.

Now that I had found him, I would protect him. Always.

* * *

   
It was hours later, and I was doing my best to keep up my watch and not succumb to the sleep my body so desperately wanted, when I felt movement behind me. I turned around curiously, and found myself staring into two electric green eyes that were blinking open. They finally focused on me, and slowly widened.

I stared back at him, not entirely sure what to do or say.

"Um, hey." I finally offered.

Green eyes blinked at me, still kind of resembling a deer-in-headlights look. But a deep voice did manage to croak back, "... Hey."

I studied him carefully. "Are you okay?"

There was slight shifting. "Yeah. Think so."

"Good." I felt some of the tension leave my form, relieved. He was going to be okay. I hadn't failed him.

He was laying there stiffly, like he was afraid to even breathe too hard with me so close to him. His eyes, still wide, never left me, looking both terrified and fascinated at the same time.

I reached over to touch his forehead, still a little concerned about his temperature.

He shrank back from my hand. A giant three hundred pound turtle mutant covered in muscles and battle scars shrank away from the touch of a forty three pound child.

I hesitated, then quietly pulled back my hand and instead rubbed my arm, unsure. "You're a lot warmer now, but you should stay by the fires a little longer. If... If you want me to go..."

"No!" he jolted up a little to lean on an elbow, reaching for me in a panic, but quickly thought better of it, pulling his hand back. "Uh... you should stay by the fires too." He reached around to rub the back of his neck nervously. "It's cold out."

I felt relieved and nodded. Pausing for a moment, I gingerly leaned back against the rigid but surprisingly warm shell once more, watching his reaction closely, but though he stiffened up, he didn't shrink away. I relaxed, then settled back and closed my eyes. It had been a long night.

There was the slightest, tentative brush against my cheek, and I opened my eyes to glance at him.

He yanked his hand back as if burned. "Sorry."

I gave him a reassuring smile, and reached over to touch his hand. "You're fine."

He froze under my touch, but didn't pull away. "You... you're not scared?"

I was perplexed. "Of what?"

"Of... of me! I ain't human! I'm a giant mutant turtle!" he blurted out the obvious.

I blinked, taken completely by surprise. "Of course not." It had never crossed my mind to be scared of my Shadows.

He blinked at that, paused, swallowed hard, and then slowly, hesitantly, reached out again. When I didn't indicated any discomfort, he gingerly touched my hair and traced down around my cheek, looking especially fascinated by my eyes. One of his fingers was probably as big as my whole hand.

I touched his giant hand, marveling at the strength behind the gentle touch, and glanced over at him shyly. "Your name... is it really Raphael?"

He pulled his hand away, stiffening up. His green eyes looked up to meet mine and seemed to widen even more, but he licked his dry lips and nodded. "Yeah."

I felt a wave of relief. "And... and purple... purple is Donatello?"

He shifted a little. "Yeah."

I closed my eyes. "There's... there's an orange one too. But... I can't quite..."

He was quiet for a moment. "Mikey."

"Michelangelo..." I whispered, and slumped back against him in relief.

Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo. My Shadows... My Shadows were real, and they were named Raph, Donnie, and Mikey. I wanted to cry with relief and happiness.

"You remember..." his voice was little more then a whisper, filled with wonder.

"Kinda?" I winced. "Not... not much. Just dreams, feelings, and fractured pieces here and there. It's... it's like I have amnesia or something, and the memories are there, right there below the surface... just out of reach. It's... frustrating." I exhaled, then looked up at him. "But I always knew that I had three Shadows, and how important they were. Red, Purple, and Orange. I never forgot you, even when I couldn't remember you."

Burlap sacks slid around us as he pushed himself up into a sitting position, his huge form dwarfing my own.

I looked up at him, hoping for answers. "April told me when we first met that I reminded her of an old friend, somebody named Leonardo."

He swallowed hard, and seemed to struggle for an answer. Finally he shrugged. "Yeah."

"Was... he a turtle like you?"

He looked away, his face pained. "Yeah. My... my brother."

"He died, didn't he?" I asked, and he winced. I rubbed my arm and looked away. "I guessed as much."

We were both quiet for a moment, then I whispered, "Am I...?"

He licked his dry lips and looked unsure. "Do... you really want to know?"

I nodded, not looking at him. "I need to know."

He exhaled, then nodded. "Yeah... We're pretty sure that you're him. His reincarnation or something."

I closed my eyes and let this sink in. The puzzle pieces were starting to fall into place, and as they did so, all of the turmoil and chaos that plagued my thoughts faded away, until all that was left was certainty. Suddenly, all these dreams and half-memories made sense. I knew who I was supposed to be now. I had a purpose, a place in life where I belonged, and I had finally found it again.

Hesitantly, his hand touched my shoulder, obviously unsure if contact would still be welcome or not. "You... okay?"

I exhaled slowly, then turned to look at him, smiling through tears. "Yeah..." I hurriedly wiped my eyes with my sleeve. "Sorry. It's just... I was lost for so long."

He looked like somebody had just punched him in the gut. "Leo... er... I mean... Peter?"

"Leo." I corrected him.

"Yeah... Leo." he exhaled, then swallowed hard and looked away, rubbing his arm. "Listen. We... we overheard your last conversation with April." I winced at that, but he reached over and put a giant, three fingered hand on my tiny shoulder, looking at me seriously. "Leo, we wanted you. From the moment we found you, we wanted you so badly that it hurt."

I swallowed hard, and pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them tightly. "But...?"

He groaned, then gestured to himself. "We're freaks. Giant turtles. We... didn't want to drag you into our messed up world." He sighed, and looked away. "We thought you'd be happier without us."

I swallowed hard, and shook my head. "No... No I wasn't. And I wouldn't be. Ever."

Raph winced. "Yeah... we realized that too late. Sorry." he looked down. "We just wanted you to have a chance at a normal life. To be safe, y'know. We... we never meant to hurt you like that. You're our brother. Hurting you was absolutely the last thing we wanted."

I was quiet for a moment, then released my knees, leaning back against him once more and nodding.

He let out a long breath, and then, after a moment, reached down to stroke my hair again, a fascinated look on his face.

"Leo..." he breathed. "You... you're really..."

I nodded, and smiled up at him, leaning into his touch and feeling tears well up in my blue eyes. "Yeah, Raph. It's me. And I found you at last."

Raph swallowed hard, and seemed to struggle for words. Then, finally, something in him seemed to give out, and suddenly I was scooped up into strong arms, pulled into a tight hug. "Leo... I... I can't believe you're here!" he gasped out through tears. "You're actually here!"

I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed as hard as I could, tears running down my own face. I pressed my face against his cheek as he sobbed. "I'm right here. I'm right here with you, and I'll always find my way back to you, no matter what." I squeezed him tightly. "I promise."

"Leo... I... I missed ya so much!"

"I know, I know. I missed you too! It's okay, Raph. I'm here now, otouto." I murmured to him gently, and at my words, he gasped and held me even tighter.

"Leo..." he heaved out through tears and broken sobs. "Aniki..."

And in the warm firelight inside an abandoned factory building, a giant red turtle cradled a tiny ten year old human boy, dwarfing him in his arms as he rocked them both, sobbing for his lost and found big brother until the fires slowly died down into little more then embers.

* * *

 "Raph? Can we go home now?"

"... Yeah, Leo. Home sounds really good."

* * *

 Even though he was still obviously sluggish and weak, my Red Shadow insisted on carrying me through the sewers. I swallowed hard, feeling an eager flutter in my chest as the tunnels started to become familiar, as if we were visiting a location long lost in a recurring dream. Finally we reached an old underground station of some sort, and I could only smile and nestle closer to Raph as I saw the turnstiles at the entrance.

We were home.

"Hey! Anybody here?" Raph yelled out into the lair as we entered.

"Raphael!" Donnie's voice snarled out from the far room, and began stomping out. "Where in the world were you?! Why would you leave when you know perfectly well that you left your tPhone on the charger! We were worried sick and trying to find you... for... hours..." he trailed off, and his eyes widened when he saw me sitting in Raph's arms.

"I'm fine, Donnie." Raph waved him off.

"He is not fine." I glared up at my red brother, tattling on him immediately. "Raph was foolish enough to try and take a swim in the Hudson river, and I had to fish him out."

Raph looked down at me with an eyeridge raised, nostrils flaring. "Excuse me? I only dove in because I thought YOU fell in!"

I rolled my eyes. "Which I obviously did not, thank you very much. If you had just taken a few seconds to take stock of the situation first, then you would have realized that."

"If you were in the water and I waited, then you woulda drowned!" Raph snorted.

"No I wouldn't have, because I wasn't in the water!" I snapped right back. "You need to stop running blindly into situations without having a plan first, Raph!"

"Oh! Oh!" Raph sputtered, sounding annoyed but obviously secretly enjoying this oh-so-very-familiar argument just as much as I was. "Well, that's rich coming from the kid being chased across the rooftops by Purple Dragons! You were cornered! If I hadn't been there..."

"If you hadn't been there," I interrupted him, "then I would've taken I different route and dealt with the situation differently. I could sense you nearby, and decided that my plan would be to go to you for help."

"Oh." Raph deflated a little, and seemed touched by this.

I gestured towards Donnie, who was standing there, mouth agape. "And what's this Donnie is saying about you going out without any means of communication? Do you realize how much trouble you might've saved me if I could've called them for help?!"

"Are _you_ seriously critiquing _me_ on proper communication skills?!"

"I'm just saying that it was reckless and foolhardy to run out without your phone! What were you thinking, Raph?! Obviously you weren't!"

"Hey! Just because you're a tiny shrimp of a kid now doesn't mean I won't drop kick you into the sewer water, Leo!"

"Ha! I'd like to see you try." I merely snorted, crossing my arms and not at all intimidated by this giant turtle four times my size that who was carefully holding me in muscular arms as thick as I was. "After that swim in the river, I doubt you'd be able to punt a mouse right now."

"Why you...!" Raph grabbed me by the back of the shirt and hoisted me up. "I swear, Leo, I'm gonna..."

" _LEO_!" Donnie finally  snapped out of his stupor and lunged forward, snatching me out of Raph's grasp. "Oh my gosh! Leo! It's really you! Are... are you okay?! Are you hurt?!"

I smiled at my beloved Purple Shadow reassuringly, patting his hand. "I'm fine, Donnie. Honestly."

His brick red eyes blinked at me, and he held me carefully as he looked over to Raph with uncertainty. "Did... did I miss something?"

Raph waved his hand casually as he headed back towards a hallway, where I suddenly had the vague feeling the showers were located. "He's Leo, and he didn't forget us." he said simply.

Donnie sucked in his breath, and looked to me with wide eyes. I reached over and grabbed the top of his plastron to pull myself closer to him, and wrapped my arms around his neck, giving him a tight hug. "I... I can't remember everything just yet." I admitted. "But I missed you, little brother."

Donnie was still for a moment, and then I felt his hand run shakily down my back, before reaching up to touch a button on his headset, his other hand keeping me tightly pressed against him.

"Mikey?" he said into the headpiece, his voice sounding far away and dazed. "You... you and April and Casey can stop searching and come home now. Could you stop and pick up some pizzas on the way back? Make... make sure one of them is a veggie."

There was a moment as he listened, then his hand tightened across my back and his voice broke. "Y-yes Mikey. He's here. L-Leo's home now."

And even I could hear the squeal of joy that came through the tiny speaker of the headset.

"I'm going to get pounced on when they get back, aren't I?" I observed.

Donnie just clicked the microphone piece back into an upward position, wrapped his arms around me tightly, and sank to the floor with a sob.

* * *

It wasn't long until an orange aura streaked into the lair at a dead sprint. Contrary to my expectation, he didn't pounce on me immediately. Instead, Mikey froze perched on a turnstile, staring at me with wide, baby blue eyes that were so familiar.

"Mikey!" I leaned back from Donnie's embrace to smile at him eagerly.

That simple utterance of his name seemed to break whatever spell he was under, and he flung himself at me with sob. "LEO!"

And then I was no longer in Donnie's grasp, but was swept away into a tight hug by my warm Orange Shadow. He didn't say anything at all at first, but just kept hugging me tightly as if afraid to let me go.

Donnie wiped his face, composed himself, and stood up. "I should go check up Raph. I'll... I'll be right back, Leo."

I nodded, keeping my arms tightly wrapped around Mikey's neck as I watched him go down the hallway as well.

After a few minutes of nothing but silence, Mikey finally whispered, "Thank you. For coming back."

I pressed my face against his neck. "Always, little brother."

Then Donnie came back out with Raph, who was toweling off and looking better. He tossed the towel aside, and then both Mikey and I were scooped up easily into his arms and carried over to the couch. Mikey recovered enough to begin to chatter excitedly about how all the things we had to catch up on and how he was going to do his best to be a Big Brother to me now. Raph plopped down on the couch, and Donnie came over with a blanket, covering us all up and worriedly fussing over me, concerned that I hadn't been getting proper nutrition for a child my age, and checking me over for frostbite or other injuries.

I tried to stay awake as long as I could, eager to soak in as much of my brothers' affection as I could. But exhaustion finally caught up to me and, curled up on Raph's plastron with Mikey on one side and Donnie on the other, listening to my brothers voices, my family here at last, and reveling in the warmth and love pressed in around me, I eventually nodded off into a blissful, contented sleep.

And for the first time in my life, I didn't dream.

Why would I, when my dreams were now real around me?

Blue, Red, Purple, and Orange.

Always, and forever, four shadows.

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally! There we go! I'm free to start writing happy, fluffy turtles again! At last! Phew, this has definitely been one of the most blatantly angsty stories I've written. I'm not used to it. Usually my stories are gently humorous fluff with the angst boiling just below the surface. And for all those people wondering if Raph would get his own turn at LeoTime, there you go! I'm a complete sucker for Raph and Leo fluff, and that was the very first thing I wrote for this story. I've been sitting on that for months, and still would go back to re-read it, just because I wanted to share it so badly.
> 
> Originally I had planned to end the story completely at Leo's request for Raph to take him home. I thought that was a rather sweet place to end it. But then the scene of Donnie watching completely baffled as Leo and Raph acted like nothing was unusual sorta wrote itself, and I debated heavily whether to add it or not. After all, if I wrote in Donnie, then I'd have to write in Mikey as well. It was only fair! But that seemed like I was just dragging the ending out. Finally I decided heck, I put them through enough, they deserve the hugs and a little closure.
> 
> Also, when I first put this up, originally there was one more chapter, an epilogue. But I decided to begin a collection of little drabbles and short peeks in the brothers' lives together now, and I decided to move that epilogue chapter over there, where it would fit better. This chapter closes out the story nicely.


	9. Alternative Endings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as I insinuated I might add, here's some 'bonus content', just some extra non-canon stuff that I wrote for fun more then anything. Unless you like them better then the actual endings/scenes I wrote, then sure, go ahead and consider them the real ending. This is a fanfic, after all, and the word 'canon' is used loosely.
> 
> Anyways, there's two alternative endings, where both Mikey and Donnie get a chance to find Leo, and a little drabble I couldn't help scribbling down to amuse myself when somebody mentioned that Leo could get mutated into a turtle accidentally.

 

* * *

* * *

**Alternative Ending 1- Leo turns on the light/ Mikey finds Leo**

_Title is pretty self explanatory. As I was writing the scene where Mikey sneaks in to tuck Leo in, that moment where Leo thought about turning on the light had me envisioning him actually doing so, and looking up to see that ta dah!, there's a giant turtle on his ceiling. So yeah, the story technically could've ended this anticlimatically with a simple flick of a lightswitch. It would've made for a much less dramatic ending to the story, that's for sure._

* * *

Sometime during the middle of the night, I was awakened by something. I lay awake in my bed, loathe to sit up and lose what little warmth I had collected in the thin blankets.

And then I went completely rigid as I realized what had drawn me out of slumber.

My normally empty room was filled with a pleasant, distinct orange aura, like warmth itself had become palpable and was trying to breath life into this cold, frozen room once more.

My Orange Shadow. He was in the room with me!

I couldn't see or hear anything, but I definitely could sense his warm aura close by, filling the room around me like tangible sunshine. Was he finally going to let me find him?! Was I actually going to find one of my Shadows?!

Heart pounding, I sat up, ignoring the cold chill that washed over me, and looked around my dark room wildly.

Nothing. I couldn't see anybody in the shadows that filtered through the night air. I couldn't pinpoint his exact location. His aura filled the whole room! I could sense that my Orange Shadow was quite tense up, and as I moved about, it almost felt like he was holding his breath.

I swung my feet over the edge of the bed and slid down to walk across the ice cold floor to my window. It was closed, but the latch used to lock it was flipped unlocked.

I always kept it locked.

Swallowing hard, I scanned my dark room once more, not seeing anything or anybody. "Hello?" I quietly inquired. "Is anybody in here?"

Nothing.

Just the distant sounds of the city outside.

If... if I flipped on the light, would I see him?

Or would the room be empty?

I swallowed hard.

Then, taking a deep breath, I moved over and flipped on the light.

The old lightbulb flickered to life, and suddenly the room was filled with a soft yellow glow, chasing away all the shadows and revealing all that they had once concealed.

I blinked.

So... yeah...

There was an orange masked turtle on my ceiling. That was a thing.

One part of me, the logical part, was rather startled to find a wide-eyed humanoid turtle in an orange mask bunched in one of the corners of my room, clinging to the ceiling. That wasn't really something that you would expect to find.

But deeper down, the other part, my heart, seemed to think that this made total sense, and wasn't surprised at all. Of course my Shadows were turtles. I had just forgotten that fact until now.

My Orange Shadow and I stared at each other for a few seconds, neither of us sure on how to react.

"Uh... please don't panic..." my Orange Shadow gave a nervous, panicked smile that he obviously hoped looked friendly and non-threatening.

"Okay." I blinked up at him, not really sure how I should be responding to this. "Um... are... are you okay up there?"

"Oh! Yeah! I'm... uh..." He was obviously fishing for a plausible explanation for his presence. "Oh! I'm a spirit from Halloween, yeah, I'm late, I know, and I'm here to gift good little children warm blankets to keep them warm when it turns cold! See?!" He stuck his tongue out slightly in concentration as he removed one hand from the wall while somehow remaining skillfully perched up against the ceiling. He pulled off a thick blue comforter off his shell, dropping it to the ground where I could see it. "So... there you go! Happy Belated Halloween, dude!"

"Um... thank you?" I glanced down at the blanket, and then back up at him, confused.

"You are most welcome, bro!" He beamed at me, then, wiggling a bit like a cat to gather up his balance, he released his hold and dropped lightly to the floor, landing easily on his feet. He slowly and carefully started inching towards the window. "Uh... but I should... probably get going, yo. You know, so keep being good and all that?"

"Can I ask you something before you go?" I asked quietly, watching him back away sadly.

He froze, then nodded nervously. "Of course. Ask away, Le...little dude!"

"What do I need to do?" I tried to keep my voice from wavering. I needed to appear strong! But, despite my best effort, I couldn't help the pleading note in my voice.

"Uh..." The question seemed to catch him off guard, and he looked puzzled. "What?"

"What do I need to do so I can finally find you three? How do I make it so you want me?" I clarified, trying to keep my voice from sounding too desperate. "I can get stronger, if that's what you want. I promise! I'm trying really hard!"

For a long moment, my Orange Shadow just stared at me, a strange look on his freckled face.

........

Back in the Lair, Raph, Donnie, Casey, and April were sitting around the kitchen table, discussing strategies quietly among themselves, when suddenly they were startled by Mikey loudly shoving past one of the turnstiles in the entrance, causing it to clickity-clack several times rapidly.

"Okay, first off. Dudes, we should really have a door or something, because man, it would be much cooler if I could just kick it open and make a badass dramatic entry that way!" Mikey turned to glare at the underwhelming turnstiles. Then he turned back to face everyone in the room dramatically. "Secondly, I have an important announcement to make!"

I was pulled into a tight hug against his plastron, his chin resting on my head possessively. "Dis is mah big brudder." he firmly stated, his baby-blue eyes narrowed, daring anybody to contradict him. "He is mine forever, I love him, and nobody is taking him away from me ever again!" That said, he turned and started walking towards his room. "Come, Leo! We're going to get some comfy sleeping bags to snuggle in while we have a Space Heroes movie marathon, and Imma make you a big mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows and ice cream and popcorn and tea and all your favorite things, and then tomorrow we'll read comic books together and play games and other brotherly things all day, because I love you so much!"

The two turtles and two humans sitting at the table stared at him, their mouths agape. Then, as one, they bolted out of their chairs. " _MIKEY_!"

_(Side Note: Even I'm not sure if Mikey meant those food items as separate things, or if he actually meant he was going to make hot chocolate with marshmallows, ice cream, popcorn, and tea in it.)_

* * *

* * *

**Deleted Scene/Alternative Ending 2- Donnie Finds Leo**

_This starts out as a deleted scene, and I just finished it off to become another way the story could've ended. So the scene with Donnie helping Leo with his homework over the phone was actually supposed to take place earlier while in the park, and this little slice of life scene with Leo and Casey playfully fighting over a piece of pizza was supposed to take place in the dojo apartment, where Donnie's scene ended up taking place. But as I wrote this scene out, I began to realize that Leo was letting too much slip. This whole story was a balancing act of one side not figuring out that the other side knew, which is one reason I ended up shortening the timeline up so much. The characters aren't stupid, and it wasn't going to be long until either Leo figured out that April and Casey knew his Shadows, or they realized that Leo might remember more then he lets on. But, since I already had so much of this written, for this section I went ahead and let it play out to its natural conclusion. I could have quite easily had all three turtles in there, but Raph got the main show, and Mikey got his alternative 'What if' scenario, so I thought I'd give Donnie a chance to find Leo as well. Some of Leo's pleas are repetitive from the other alternative scenario, but, to be honest, that is what the conclusion he had jumped to, so that's naturally what he would be requesting._

* * *

"Ugh..." Casey groaned, sprawled out between two kitchen chairs and leaning back so far that the one he was sitting on was teetering unsteadily on just two legs. A greasy napkin covered his face.

"... Agreed..." I mumbled, face down on the table amongst all the empty pizza boxes.

I could sense my Purple Shadow shift around downstairs, and a few minutes later, April stepped through the door and stopped at the sight of us. "What in the... Casey! I said no pizza!"

"Technically, you only said Leo needed more veggies." Casey lifted a hand as he stated his defense, not bothering to take the napkin off his face. "There were vegetables of one sort or another on each of these pizzas."

"I... how many pizzas did you guys eat?!" April walked up, staring at the box-covered table in disbelief.

"A lot..." I moaned, still face down.

April sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose and obviously trying to summon patience. "Guys, I was only gone for a few hours. Casey, you are supposed to be the responsible adult here!"

"April, let's be honest." Casey finally took the napkin off his face and righted his chair, sitting up to belch a little and wince. "I'm Casey Jones. You know as well as I do that Leo is by far the most responsible one out of the two of us... Blame him."

"In my defense, I'm only ten." I lifted a hand to point out. I winced and pushed myself up off the table, propping myself up by the elbows as I reached over and shifted a few of the empty boxes around to uncover the box with a single slice left. "We did save you some though if you want it, sensei."

"Eh, thanks, but I actually already ate." April looked askance at the single slice of pizza.

Casey and I paused, then looked at each other, eyes narrowed.

Okay. If she didn't want it, that meant that the last slice of pizza was once more up for grabs.

At this point, it was a matter of honor.

"Let's be men about this, Leo. Arm wrestle you for it?" Casey leaned forward with a mischievous grin.

I raised an eyebrow at him and scoffed. "I'm ten. Not stupid. Roshambo?"

"Uh, what?" Casey blinked.

"Rock, Paper, Scissors." I clarified.

"Oh." he considered this, then snorted. "That's never gone well for me in the past against you crazy ninja types. Your 'predicting enemy movements' crap and all that."

Hmph. Was hoping that would work. I had found myself to be rather skilled at relying on gauging my opponent's movements and reacting instinctively to counteract.

Suddenly Casey chuckled to himself, looking like he felt cunning for coming up with a plan, but then tried to play casual. "I have an idea! We'll make it a wager."

"Oh?" I sat back, intrigued, and waved at him to continue.

"There's no need to make things complicated. We'll just do a simple trivia question, something like, oh, I dunno, I'll try to guess what your favorite color is or something." His eyes glittered. "If I guess right, I win. How does that sound?"

I considered this. "Are there any restrictions on color choices?"

"None except no nitpicking on shades. If I guess yellow, you can't say I'm wrong because your favorite color is actually 'Dandelion' or 'Gold' or 'School Bus' or some crap like that."

"Agreed." I already had napkin in front of me, and was using a pen to scribble down a quick note.

April crossed her arms and shot Casey a dirty look. "Casey, that's cheating."

"How?" I asked, secretly pleased with the proposed wager. "I've never told him."

"See, April! Leo's cool with the terms!" Casey looked smug.

"Leo, I don't... But he..." April looked as if she wanted to argue, but then sighed. "You know what? Fine. Honestly, I just don't want Leo to get sick from eating too much pizza, so go ahead."

I folded up the napkin and handing it to April, who took it with a sigh. "Okay, I wrote down what I consider to be my favorite color scheme." I leaned back and crossed my arms, giving Casey a competitive look. "Guess away."

"Blue!" Casey was already reaching for the pizza slice, looking confident.

"Wrong!" I cackled gleefully, diving for the pizza slice. I snatched it up triumphantly from under his hand and quickly shoved the crust into my mouth. I was already extremely full and it tasted cold and soggy by now, but this was the last piece, and it still tasted like victory!

"Wait. What?" Casey froze, and both he and April looked unusually startled by this proclamation. For some reason, my Purple Shadow downstairs seemed perplexed as well, as if he were listening in on us.

Smirking, with the pizza dangling from my mouth, I gestured towards April and the napkin.

April unfolded the napkin, then froze when she saw what I wrote.

"April?" Casey asked curiously.

Her mouth gaped open a few times, then she looked up at him, swallowing hard. "Red, purple, and... and orange." she whispered.

""True, I actually do like the color blue, but it's not my favorite color. I actually have three that I like more." I stuck my tongue out at him as I crossed my legs sagely, going back to eating my prize. "You should have specified that I could only pick one."

Casey and April were quiet for a moment.

"Wh... why? Why those three specifically?" Casey finally asked, sounding like he had lost all interest in the pizza.

I shrugged as if it didn't really matter. "I've always liked those colors."

April and Casey looked at one another, obviously engrossed in one of their silent, visual conversations. I had been growing used to these strange reactions they had once in a while to things I did. They had been doing stuff like this since we first met, after all.

However, Purple Shadow downstairs started pacing as well, and that concerned me a little more, thought I did my best to hid my worry. I began to wonder if he realized I had been indirectly talking about him and my other Shadows. Did I do something wrong by revealing even that little bit?

But then April caught me by surprise when she looked intensely at me and asked in a strangely serious voice, almost as if she were asking me the most important question in my life, "Leo... What... _exactly_... do you remember?"

I paused mid-bite, tensing up as I tried to figure out what she was asking of me. She obviously couldn't be talking about my dreams and Shadows. Could she?

"Red, purple, and orange." She held up the napkin, watching me closely. She took a deep breath. "Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo?"

And I stiffened and froze as those names reverberated and rippled through my very soul, feeling as if each time she uttered a name, there was a toll of a bell deep inside of me.

Raph.

Donnie.

Mikey.

My three Shadows. Those were the names of my three Shadows.

"Leo?" April swallowed hard, obviously noticing my extreme reaction.

I lowered the now-forgotten pizza slice and turned slowly to her, feeling as if my heart was about to beat out of my chest. I whispered hoarsely as I realized, "You... you know them..."

April and Casey knew my Shadows! Of course! How had I not figured that out already?!

April sank down into a chair, hand over her mouth, and she and Casey looked at each other in awe. I could feel my Purple Shadow freeze downstairs.

If April and Casey knew my Shadows, maybe they could help me find them at last!

"I..." I swallowed hard, desperately trying to keep myself under control, to keep the quiver out of my voice. "Could... could you tell them something for me, then? Please?"

She looked at me, face pale. "Like... like what?" she whispered, as if she didn't completely trust her voice at the moment.

"Tell them that I'll get stronger." I blurted out a little too desperately.

"What?" she blinked, surprised, and Casey looked at one another, obviously bewildered by the request.

I hugged myself tightly, shrinking back a little. "I'll get strong enough to protect them. I promise." I clarified. "That's... that's what they want, right? That's what they're waiting for?"

"Oh, no... Leo..." April swallowed hard, leaning forward. "That's not... You... you don't have to be stronger..."

My Purple Shadow was starting to grow more agitated downstairs. Oh no... was I messing things up?!

"Then what do they want me to do?! I'll do it! Anything they want me to! Please!" I was on the verge of panicking.

"Leo!" April slipped out of her chair to kneel in front of me, clasping my shoulders. "You don't..."

"Then why won't they let me find them?! I can sense them so close by! Always so close! But if I try to go to them, they run away and hide!" My voice was quickly rising, tears threatening to fall. I was breathing heavily as I tried to stop myself from panicking, eyes darting across the floor as I found myself unable to meet her concerned eyes. "I've tried not to push them! I've tried to figure out what they want! But I don't know what to do!" Then, swallowing hard, I clenched the fabric of my shirt sleeves tightly as I looked up at her and whispered in a small voice with tears in my eyes, "Why? Why don't they want me?"

There was a bang downstairs, like a headset being thrown aside, and it was only a short second later that the door leading downstairs was thrown open.

And there He was.

My Purple Shadow.

The giant turtle humanoid with a purple mask stood there, breathing heavily and looking at me with terrified brick red eyes, as if he wasn't quite sure he was doing the right thing, but desperate to do something, anything.

My breath caught in my throat.

He was real.

I wasn't crazy.

After all these years, one of my beloved Shadows was right here in front of me.

I didn't care that he appeared to be a turtle. That wasn't important right now. The only thing that mattered was that he was there, and he was REAL.

I swallowed hard, and then looked up at him pleadingly. Only one word somehow slipped out from my lips, almost unbidden.

"Please?"

A single whispered, tearful word that still somehow managed to hold all my broken prayers in it.

_Please let me find you._

_Please let me protect you._

_Please let me belong to you._

_Please don't let me be alone anymore._

_Please be my family._

_Please take me home._

_Please want me..._

And then suddenly I was caught up in strong green arms, pulled into a fierce, comforting hug.

"You are wanted, Leo!" he gasped through sobs. "You are wanted more then you'll ever know!"

He wanted me! I was wanted!

Shaking, I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly back.

_Please... Please don't ever let me go._

 

* * *

 _Cue Raph and Mikey rushing in, and Leo getting buried under a pile of turtle hugs and tears_.

 

 

* * *

* * *

**'What If' Scenario: What if Leo accidentally turns into a turtle again?**

 

 _So. People have asked whether Leo turns back into a turtle, and, honestly, at this point, I'd say it's up to your own head canon. I don't have anything planned, and really could go either way. On one hand, turtle bros! On the other, the image of Clan Leader adult human Leo dressed neatly in a suit and sitting confidently in a chair with his leg crossed over and his hands clasped together in his lap, with thick, shaggy black hair and blue eyes just daring you to try something while his brothers stand guard behind him is... whew... *fans self* ._

 _One thing I was going to write in the epilogue but never quite made it was that Leo feels like a turtle at heart. He very early on asks Donnie to change him back, but his brother is understandably hesitant about doing such a thing. They finally compromised in that Leo would at least finish out school and maybe college first, and they they'd discuss it again later. If Leo does become a turtle again, it would be as an adult. In the meanwhile, a lot of things could happen to change his mind. Like friends. Or girls. Or maybe, I dunno, unknown paternal grandparents in Japan who only find out about his existence later..._

 _Or maybe, like somebody said, turtle luck could strike, and the decision is taken out of their hands entirely...  
_

_(This is just for fun, and shouldn't be taken seriously. If I did write a scene like this, you know it would have been at least 30k words long and probably filled with a ton of unnecessary angst. )_

* * *

The elderly Baxter Stockman cackled maniacally before them. "And now you pay, turtles! See how it feels to watch one of your own turn into a disgusting insect!"

And then suddenly there was nunchuck to the face, and he crumpled to the ground.

"Leo!" Raph ripped off one of the metal straps holding his so-far-still human brother down.

"Raph, I'm fine!" Leo struggled and managed to free himself the rest of the way from the gurney with his brother's help. "We need to get this mutagen collar off before it bursts though!"

Raph was already on it, grabbing Leo, who gave a little surprised grunt, and rushing over to hand the blue-masked human over to their purple brother. "Donnie!"

"Leo! Hold on, we'll save you!" Donnie grabbed Leo, set him on the ground, and immediately started fiddling with the mutagen collar. He managed to pop out a small clear glass tube that had a small fly in it and tossed it aside. "Well, the good news is that I got the fly DNA out at least."

Mikey looked worriedly at Leo, then grabbed his head in both hands and deliberately licked him across the face, from chin to forehead.

"Ack!" Leo yelped, surprised and disgusted. He sputtered and tried to wipe off some of the saliva. "What the shell, Mikey?!"

"Turtle DNA, dude!" Mikey explained in a slight panic. "Just in case!"

"Leo is not going to get mutated!" Raph smacked Mikey on the head, gritting his teeth. "Donnie's got this! Right Donnie?"

"Uhhh... yeah..." Donnie didn't sound as confident as he frantically fiddled with the wiring in the collar that was obviously designed to foil fiddling with wires.

Then they all froze as the light on the collar started flashing red and beeping.

"Get back!" Leo yelped, shoving his brothers away.

 _**"Leo!"** _

And then there was the chilling sound of several glass vials exploding.

One excruciatingly painful mutation later, Donnie was doing his best to keep an enraged Raph from stabbing Stockman. "Raph! You can't murder an unconscious man, even if he deserves it!"

Mikey leaned down and patted Leo on his newly reacquired shell. "See? Aren't you glad I licked you now?"

Leo lay face down on the cement floor, and lifted up one shaky, three fingered hand. "Ow."

* * *

**Guest Works**

* * *

[Reunion](https://www.deviantart.com/fireworksinthenight/art/Fanfiction-Fanfiction-Reunion-774253808)by [fireworksinthenight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireworksinthenight/pseuds/fireworksinthenight)

A glimpse at a future where Leo's biological father came back to reclaim him, with the help of Karai.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So one quick announcement that'll hopefully make people happy. Thanks to the ton of unexpected interest I've been getting, I decided that this won't be the last thing I write for this story after all. While I don't actually have a sequel solidly planned, I have a few ideas for little scenes of brotherly fluffs and love and adventure. So I'll probably create a new story where I post some drabbles for a while, which will touch on meeting Karai, their first Christmas together, and other things that tickle my muse.
> 
> And, since somebody asked, I'll just add the note that if anybody wants, they're more then welcome to use any of my writings or plot ideas, whether to do a spinoff, sequel, or their own AU. I'm not possessive by any means, and this is a fanfiction site, where the whole idea is to take characters you enjoy and imagine them in different situations. Heck, this whole chapter was just me writing fanfiction about my fanfiction! So, if you want to write Leo turning into a turtle, or getting kidnapped by the Foot, or anything that tickles your fancy, go for it! The only request I make is that you have fun writing!


End file.
